The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

hey scattyspice, and welcome to the bus. Why doesn't DH want you to stop?

Hey all, finally managed to read through posts since Friday, no Bank Holiday here (Ireland) so work getting in the way of my reading posts .
Had a lovely, quite, non-eventful weekend with absolutely not a drop of alcohol .... pats self on back

Welcome scatty and well done on the cutting back so far. Do you have any idea of how many units you consume a week - don't worry you won't shock anyone on this thread .

Well done obrigada that's fab!

Hi Scattyspice welcome to the bus.

My DH could never understand why I couldn't JUST moderate my drinking, to be honest I don't really understand why I can't either. He thought I wouldn't be any fun any more, wouldn't want to go out etc, but now he actually prefers the new sober version of me, I am more cheerful, proactive and out going than I was when I was watching the diminishing wine supply and trying to act sober.

You don't need him to be on board, you can do it for yourself.

hey scatty, I know that my exdp didn't want me to stop drinking, and in the main, we had fun when we were both drinking, but we were co dependent drinkers, and I seriously had/have a problem - once I started - that was it, I drank until the bitter end. One was too many and 15 was not enough. I could not drink safely, and couldn't tell you how I got to bed, but that is not what made me want to stop!
I couldn't handle how I felt about myself, how I would feel in the morning, I woke up every morning with fear in the pit of my stomach, and was constantly anxious and on edge and so I drank more vicious circle really.
Exdp didn't want to face up to the fact that actually he no longer wished to be in the relationship, and (with hindsight) the unhappier he was the more he drank. He wanted me to continue to drink with him, because when we were drinking, we were not facing the problems in our relationship.
Am not saying that this is the case with you, but you need to look closely at the reasons your partner is not keen on you stopping, if he was a smoker and you wanted to quit would he feel the same .

Regardless, welcome to the bus, take a seat and mouse sometimes supplies bacon rolls and sarnies.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Finishing soon and going for coffee with a wise and good friend

Hi Scatty, lone parent here so can't really help you with that one, but I think BBB sums it up perfectly.

Cheers Faire:), been a while since I was alcohol free at weekend!

Well done Obrigada
That's fab!!!

Thanks for the welcome .

BB you've summed it up exactly. He thinks I will become 'boring' and disapproving. he has a really healthy attitude to alcohol, i have never seen him drunk or hungover, he can stop mid pint if he wants to and never feels under social pressure to drink. He can't understand why I just don't seem to be able to do the same.

fairnuff I have been drinking 2 bottles of wine/week (all on Fri, Sat and Sun night though) for the past year. This means that I don't sleep well all weekend and have hangovers on sat, sun and mon. The problem with cutting back has been that my tolerance to alcohol is worse so 2 glasses of wine = hangover now.

tbh scatty 2 bottles over 3 nights doesn't seem a huge amount to me, but 2 bottles of wine every weekend is not moderate I guess, hence the horrible hangovers.

You have done really well to not drink during the week. Do you just not want it, or have you been using some strategies to stop you reaching for wine? Also I am wondering what your DP thinks you are going to disapprove of if he drinks so little? Nosey, me?

Dh doesn't drink through the week so I have less pressure/temptation to drink then (I used to drink alone during the week). I do miss it esp on Mon. Then i drink most of a bottle on Fri!

Dh doesn't think i drink too much (he doesn't think my headaches are related). He doesn't like drinking alone.

I think tbh I'm making to big a deal of it. I'm not drinking tonight because of my cold. I'll leave it at that and take it one day at a time.

Thats all we can do really Scatty is take it one day at a time:)

You're not making a big deal of it scatty

We have all uhmmed and ahhed over why we drink but for most of us it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. There will always be a reason to drink if you want to.

If you want to stop or cut down more you are definately in the right place

For me, I never really saw my drinking as a problem until I decided to lose weight. I wanted to reduce my alcohol intake to cut down on calories and it was then that I realised I had a problem.

Hope your cold gets better soon. If you can stay off the booze you will start to sleep better and feel more rested. Lots of hot lemon drinks with honey to sweeten might help.

Workday almost over, hope everyone has a peaceful evening and hope to "see" you all tomorrow :)

Hi all -have just come back from a lovely day out at Hever Castle. Last sort-of-day of summer I suspect - the light is changing and there is definitely an autumnal feel to the air. I like autumn a lot.

welcome Scatty - where you're at now is where I've managed to get to in four weeks (and trust me, I was drinking a LOT more before that), and I am finding myself with a hangover on sat and sun am after half a bottle of wine. But I'm not ready to take the leap and cut out the wine just yet . Manageable steps.....

If your DP doesn't think the headaches are caused by wine, why don't you suggest an experiment whereby you cut out the wine and see whether the headaches stop (rather than saying you are concerned about your drinking). Also, do other forms of alcohol give you a headache? I get rotten headaches from red wine- they start about half an hour after I start drinking it (so I don't). Maybe leave the wine for the time being and if you want to be sociable with DP, have a bottle of beer or something else measured in smaller amounts than 750 ml bottles....

have to say that " I just can't stop once I've started. Anyone else had this problem?" made me smile a bit (gallows humour). Does anyone on the bus want to confess to not having this problem ? I certainly do (have it). Hopefully one day I will be able to say, "did" but at this stage the jury is out.

missy10 are you around? Hope the op went well, I vaguely recall that you were going on holiday this week but there were a few days there when I skipped some posts so I may have lost the thread...

Hi all, welcome Scatty (brilliant name, by the way),

smutsister! I like it Indie , makes me feel like I walk on the wild side!

All quiet on the thurso front, DC2 at part time job, DC1 closeted talking to GF, and Dh getting stuff ready for work.

Back on track from last week, but, had the most bizarre dreams last night. Sadly, I always remember my dreams, even from years ago. One of my dreams last night, was that I was at a dinner party, but, it was a babes dinner party!! Venus was there, and I could see you quite clearly Venus, probably because I have met you. But there were loads of people, just babes, and I found myself in my kitchen, talking to two women, and saying, "one of you must be Ma", and a slim girl with long red hair, said "yes", " and it's my Birthday next week, I'll be 17". I started to wake up, and felt really confused. Have you got red hair Ma?

I realise that I will probably, and quite properly, get asked to leave the bus now [hope not icon], but, does anyone else get dreams that mix fact and fiction?

I am not going to re-read this post, too strange, but, had to write it down.

Back later
xxx

LOL thurs very strange dream. i had weird dreams last night because dd kept waking me as I was drifting off to sleep.

Thanks again for the welcome and all the ideas (food for thought), good idea to swap wine for beer legal will give it a go.

On lemsip tonight so no problem there. Hoping for a good nights sleep as back to work tomorrow (after 4 weeks at home with DC).

Haha thurso you did make me there. What a fab dream! Just shows how much you love us . My dreams almost always mix fact and fiction. The worst ones are when I dream I am at work and then I wake up and have to go to work!

lol @ thurso. yes I am 17, slim with red hair. NOT!!! I am 47, fat with short brown purplish hair. Said auburn on the box, but hell it's purple and I like it.
I have very weird dreams, absolutely surreal, mixing up people and places. I hate it when I dream about people I care about and miss and then I wake up and realise they are not there after all!

But ma it said auburn on the box and that's red isn't it?

Ma I don't think so! You may be be 47, but I obviously know what you look like!

I do think that I have a very overactive imagination, as voiced in my school reports 20 years ago! Is that why I try to contain it?

Cup of peppermint tea, and to bed, for me!

It has been very hard tonight, and I am hoping that tomorrow will bring some order, as Dh is going to work, and I have to prepare for the Autumn term.

You are all so inspirational, I send you my love

XXXX

Hi. Have only got a page into this thread but it seems right up my street. Marking my place so it pops up on my threads.

I drink too much. End of. I'll read some more and then start my journey.

Welcome misstress and scattu. Your very welcome! This bus along with other things has saved my life. Read back and you can.see the state I was in this time last week after another slip.
I saw dp and all 3 monkeys today. Dp was amazing. Baby was gorgeous as always and dd and ds were fab fun! I have had lots of hugs. Was feeling pretty down but the luvverly bafana texted me and we are off for lunch and a meeting tomorrow. And dp wants me home on friday. I'm feeling so positive now. Thankyou all once more.

Welcome misstress and scattu. Your very welcome! This bus along with other things has saved my life. Read back and you can.see the state I was in this time last week after another slip.
I saw dp and all 3 monkeys today. Dp was amazing. Baby was gorgeous as always and dd and ds were fab fun! I have had lots of hugs. Was feeling pretty down but the luvverly bafana texted me and we are off for lunch and a meeting tomorrow. And dp wants me home on friday. I'm feeling so positive now. Thankyou all once more.

Oh that is wonderful, wonderful news wantto. I am so glad I checked in before going off to bed, it's put a big on my face.

Hello to MistressofPemberley my withered brain cells are telling me this is something to do with Pride & Prejudice, non?

Hello and goodnight also to some other newbies who I can't remember hearing from recently - ready, try, josie, missy, feebz (sorry if I forgot anyone or got names wrong).

Sweet dreams Babes x