The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

Thanks for the Tena ma xx

I'm Jeffing livid about it to be honest. Such a disappointment.

onemorning - hello

This morning when I was in the kitchen planning how best to kill the salesman from Wickes, I heard a huge band. It actually shook me, I felt the blast. DH said it was from the castle, they have a re enactment weekend on.

Anyway, we've just been and done the weekly shop in Aldi for the first time, to see how much we can save V's Tesco and their delivery charge. I opened the fridge to put stuff away and there was the explanation for the bang.

The bottom shelf of the fridge had exploded into the salad drawer. All over everything. So I've had to throw a load of fresh stuff away as it had tiny little bits of glass in. I thought it was supposed to be tempered glass? Hmmm............

Thing is, lots of 'odd' things have happened since we started 'changing' the house. You know, like things breaking, things going 'missing' things moving all by themselves. I'm a HUGE believer that ghosts/spirits exist. I only hope that this lot will go easy on me here on in! We can't afford too many more 'mishaps'

oooh mouse, how exciting. Your house is haunted - I'm jealous. i should send DS round. When he was younger he regularly "saw" spirit people and was able to describe them in great detail and tell us what they had said to him, Seriously! DH was a bit but i accepted it. Why would he make it up?
You need to wait for a calm, still time and walk round the house saying aloud that you hear them and acknowledge their presence and reassure them that they are welcome.
I bet nemo can see them. How is that little fish-boy anyway?
DH is out now all night and not back until tomorrow so peaceful night in store with good book for me.

DD used to 'see' people and talk to them. She totally accepted them in her life, as did I. I know that Nemo can too because he just sits babbling at the corner of the lounge, and when he does that, it's usually accompanied by a strong smell of cigarette smoke or chocolate so we know who it is (my best friend or my grandad).

I feel daft sharing this but when we were on holiday, we visited some old slate mines. When we walked through the workshops (no longer used) I felt, heard and saw the men who used to work there. I was a bit spooked at first because the room was so full of them, all pushing and shoving but after a few seconds, I was fine.

Also this weekend when my friend was here, she 'knew' when I was coming outside because there was a sudden gust of wind through the previously silent trees. So I guess that means she is 'sensitive' too?

DH just accepts it now and he 'knows' when I can see/hear/feel someone in a place. I think the spirits here are just annoyed that we are changing the house again. It dates back to 1850 so I guess they've been here longer than us!

Sorry if the above makes for eye rolling reading, I appreciate not everyone 'believes'

Nemo is gorgeous. So tall! He seems to have shot up recently. He starts nursery next month when the children go back to school. I'm so proud of him. He's taking a real interest in food and has even had a little sip of water out of a glass recently too.

I'm glad you have the night off sweets. Make the most of it xx

post a pic of Nemo - great that he is beginning to eat a drink.
spoke to DS about your "visitors" - he says (honestly) that the spirit people don't like being disturbed and being ignored. he says they come through the mirror (refuses to have one in his bedroom) so you should put a candle in front of the mirrors and tell them not to worry about the changes. so says our resident ghostbuster

Hi everyone. I have nt had a drink yet, which is rare for me. Ido feel a bit anxious but thats when id normally have one and then i forget about anxiety then. probobly a bit of a crutch really, as these things can be. I ahve lemon cordial tonight. Not craving a drink but still feel a bit toxic, tomorrow will be a test though. but hey im trying..

think i might change my nickname. choose it last night when i was drunk and feeling negative. it sounds negative and i dint want to be that. thanks for your support

IsinDe and Ma - if you click on my name, the first three pics are of Nemo two weeks ago.

Also IsinDe - startAfire is a name change, I'll tell you via PM if you can't work it out. She's been here a few weeks now. Well done on the N&Ts xx

Right. Over 2 hours of X Factor and Xtra Factor and I'm done in. DD loves it so it's 'our time' to be girls.

I'm off to take Nemo to bed, he's almost asleep.

Goodnight and Jeff bless Babes. I'm sending you all sleepy vibes, deep, long, sleepy vibes.

Be back tomorrow xx

PS - two small bottles of fruit cider tonight. Lots of water and a lush dinner with DH.

Night xxxx

PPS - has anyone heard from Ruby? Or any others that we've not heard from in a while?

Ma - I will light candles and speak to the spirits. I can understand why they are upset. This happened when we re-built part of the kitchen too. The kettle would start to boil without being turned on, the washer soap drawer would open causing the machine to stop working and they'd hide the matches so that we couldn't light the wood burner. Cheeky but a wee bit scary sometimes.

Anyway, I'll make my peace with them. We are guests I guess?? Tell DS thank you and give him a huge squidge from Auntie Mouse xxxx

i think this one is better (previously fukit) don't you

Great name try. As time goes by, this will get easier, I promise.

I hope you get some sleep tonight but don't worry if your night ends up broken. Sober nights are the hardest for the first 3/4. I used herbal sleeping tablets for a week or so to start.

Take care of you for a while, okay? xx

Love the new name Try and congrats on achieving day 1. Will be rooting for you again tomorrow

Hello
I'm hiding downstairs drinking again.
I'm having FET on Weds and DH thinks I stopped drinking in prep.
I'm a good hider.
I've wanted it for so long and now ... I hope it doesn't work cause no way I can lay off the wine for 9 months.
I've become a secret mess.
I hate me.

Hello ready

I have just got back from holidays and am a bit bleary-eyed but didn't want to let your post go unanswered. Please don't hate yourself. I have no idea what FET is but guessing it's to do with conceiving? Are you able to give me a bit more info? If not, huge glass of water and off to bed with you. Hope to speak tomorrow.

Hi all and welcome to ready (just googled FET and it stands for frozen embryo transfer, for the benefit of those as ignorant as me). W
day one of week 4 for me - time is flying - so let's hold hands. Fwiw when I was pregnant I had absolutely no desire to drink - even the smell of alcohol made me feel ill- you never know your luck!

Tryandtry - like the name change, not least because I've become a bit of a prude about swearing as I've got older - funny as I used to swear like a trooper at school! Agree with what others have said about feeling rubbish at first, I'm still really tired and run down but I think it's starting to improve. Vitamins and plenty of sugary drinks definitely the way forward...

Startafire think you may well be right about the weekend drinking tapering off. Had a g+t and the other half of the wine last night, no desire to keep drinking or to drink today even though I've permitted myself to do so.

Morning all.
Well i did day 1
But it took ages to get to sleep last night and felt a bit restless actually, this morning i swear ive got an headache. A bit like i HAD been drinking (wander if im dehydrated or something?) although i think i drank loads of fluids yesterday.
Havent gone a night without at least a couple of glasses of wine per night for so long I cant really remember how it feels.
I always drink late afternoon after work or late evening with dh , never wake up wanting to drink or crave a drink at work, but been so long without clear days. Do you think im a alcoholic or alcohol dependent? or are they the same. I know there is probobly no (right answer) but just a ask, as i cant really talk to anyone else like this. People either get very concerned of just fob it off as they drink too.

tryandtryagain - well done! The headache might be dehydration, or even sugar. I put sugar in my coffee when I was last coming off a drink and just reduced it down over a couple of days. I don't really like sweet coffee but then, lately, I don't even like the taste of alcohol. As for a dependent drinker - you'd probably know by now as you'd be shaking, etc. To me, an alcoholic is someone who has lost the power to control their drinking. You can only really decide for yourself. Some her are, some aren't, some find labels unhelpful. I'm an alcoholic and to know that helps me know how to get well. But that's just for me. Enjoy your sober morning - it's a glorious one here!!

readytoconfess your pain sounds so evident and I just want to give you a hug for being so brave. Presumably you could defer your FET (is it a natural cycle or have you had the drugs etc? I'm guessing they won't have defrosted your embryos yet?) because if you are ready not just to confess but to face this then maybe there needs to be time for you, your DH (and your potential DC) to deal with first things first.
Drinking in secret is not, to my mind, normal drinking. I couldn't imagine surviving without alcohol for even 24 hours when I started posting here. It took me a few months to become serious about my sobriety and its the best thing I ever did. I was miserable and almost suicidal and I thought my life might as well be over. Today I am preparing to do Sunday school this morning and barbecue for friends. It doesn't have to be the way it is now.
How are you doing this morning? Thinking of you.

Mouse I was going to suggest talking to your spirits - in each room of your house. "Praying", I suppose, to whatever greater being you can believe in, telling them they are welcome, and that you are just taking care of things. Our craft fair wasn't yours, I don't think - was in the Mersey Ferries terminal and a bit disappointing. And I'd let you know if we were down your way, promise! (or is that more of a threat )

Today is good, since dropping caffeine and trying to cut out refined sugar I have a real sleepy and sometimes grumpy late afternoon (4-6 ish). Hmmm, maybe this too will pass. Love to all x

Thanks mousie.
I fell a bit of a "taker" at the minute to be honest. All this wonderful support and advice from people, but i cant give it back. Im not equipped to give any advice on this really, wish i could be more help.
For what its worth everyone on this thread is an inspiration, even when they are really struggling because then we can see that we are all human and not "bad" or "good".
I plan to check in every day , this way i am forcing myself to be honest. Otherwise why bother. I know my dh wont just stop drinking wine and i dont want to force the issue either, although it wont make it easier for me. Ill have to be stronger.He is home tonight and that will be a test but if i can do that ,i really will feel i have achieved somrthing.

tryandtry- I too am a bit of a taker at the moment, and popping on here randomly to try and keep my momentum going! I'm in the "labels not very helpful" camp for the time being. To be honest, in some ways I put off dealing with the drinking too much thing because I had decided in my own mind that I was probably alcoholic - which for me, meant that to some extent I didn't hold myself responsible for my drinking / could put it in the "too hard" basket.

Having cut down in the last three weeks - no drinking Sun pm - Fri pm I am coming to the view that my drinking problem is a combination of habit (and putting off the inevitable hangover) plus the need for a "boost" in the late afternoon when I'm getting tired and grumpy. I am starting to crave / think about alcohol less and less already. Which is a surprise to me - but for now the key thing is not to rest on my laurels /slip back into old habits. Early days...

theBossofMe are you out there? How's it going?

tryandtry - this bus is full of givers and takers. Just move seats accordingly as life is going well or going badly. Take, take, take if it's helping - I know i do. And bloody well done on day 1. On the times when I've managed to lay off the bloody stuff i get very frustrated as I can't sleep and wake up with a headache and generally feel crap. You feel cheated when you have a "hangover" and haven't been drinking
It will pass.
Weird last night - with DH being out al night, I had planned to have a nice night which of course involved a bottle of wine. I had one glass and then the thought struck me that i wasn't actually enjoying it and didn't want any more.
so I went to bed.
Did someone send the commonsense fairies round last night????
mouse nemo is gorgeous - I could eat him with a spoon. Likewise your DH and no way that is DD. My goodness she's all grown up and beautiful
have a nice day Babes.

Afternoon Babes

Ma - yes, both of my boys are gorgeous but I'm biased! DD is so grown up and in that picture she looks even older! So far today, things have been fairly settled in the house, I did have a chat last night. I'm hoping that they know they're welcome! Mind you, there's not much we can do about them is there?

noteven - a threat you say? Our craft fair is on today as well. We may go later as we didn't bother yesterday, it rained! Have you got DD back full time yet? How are things with all of that? I think you're doing so well to keep going and fighting to get your life back together.

ready - welcome to the Bus. How are you today?

try - well done on getting through a whole day! I'm getting regular headaches at the moment because I need to tweek my water/sugar intake. I seem to have a headache if I do drink but also if I don't. I'm not on the Bus fully , and I'm allowing myself a drink if I feel like it but no wine and NO spirits.