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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

After divorce, trying to move on is like doing a square dance with both feet tied together. Update.

860 replies

Wisedupwoman · 07/08/2011 09:06

First came to MN (a life-saver) in March:

Then DH, now XH (very quick divorce) was into second OW which I found out through his deceitful, sloppy and disgusting attempts to take the cowards way out. Could not believe the man I loved for 20 years had spent 4 years lying and cheating his way through life and who then went on to try and manipulate all our DC's (and still is, divorce doesn't change anything).

We are now into mediation, I have a sol who is waiting in the wings to advise on settlements. I have, despite all the turmoil, secured a better job on higher salary and our DD has a place at 6th form. XH has been living with OW since he left, and I went no contact within 2 weeks of his leaving. He hates this as he is unable to control the situation so interrogates DC's - my adult DS's have cut him out, yet XH still tries with eldest DS, who finds it hard not to feel sorry for XH despite his awful behaviour. All our friends have cut XH out, none of them liked him it turns out and his colleagues have long called XH 'the artful dodger'. So this was a man who led a double life and I have been trying to come to terms with this and move on.

This thread is about that - trying to move on and deal with the reality that whilst I am trying to hold my chin up and tits out, XH is going to be a part of my life through our DD whether I like it or not.

I want to give my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to everyone who has thus far been so wonderful and unstinting in their MN support for me - who have walked the journey with me even in the midst of their own sadness.

OP posts:
TimeForChristmasSpirit · 01/12/2011 20:45

I hope you don't mind me delurking to comment Smile

I just wanted to say that this has been a difficult time for your DD. She is young and although she has a good head on her shoulders she won't understand everything that has gone on, and even if she does PTM is still her dad and she loves him. Her emotions will have been all over the place, she will have been confused, angry, upset and while she will have been angry at her dad and quite possibly felt abandoned by him, he is still her dad and she loves him.

I wonder if she just hasn't had enough time to process everything, to come to terms with her dad leaving and the whole family dynamic changing before NM appeared on the scene. Now she see's you happy and having fun while she is still stuck with all the feelings and emotions of previous months. Nothing has changed for her but she see's her mum moving on. I wonder if she is feeling a little bit left behind, abandoned even.

I don't think she's trying it on, I think she is feeling a little lost. Things have changed and are still changing at quite a fast pace and it may take a while for DD to process everything and catch up.

McNaughty · 01/12/2011 21:17

Hi Wisey, Been out of the habit of posting due to too many balls to juggle but I?ve read how happy you have been with NM and feel very pleased for you. Its certainly not too early for you. Way back I remember you saying that PTM had been carrying on in the background for a couple of years. Thats a hell of a long time for you to be messed around. No wonder you were swept off your feet and NM sounds great. Who cares if its not at the right time. Whenever is it the right time? When everyone else decides what?s right for you?

Its a real rollercoaster for you with DD and I suppose she is way behind you coming to terms with all of this. You think how long you kept up pretence of everything being OK. You honoured your role of being her mother, protecting her from the failure her DF was. Until you reached into yourself and found the strength to fight back against PTM?s lies last summer, your DD was at the mercy of his ?truth? and she is probably still trying to come to terms with the reality of what has happened.

Isn?t it the way that children are afraid that if they have lost one parent, they feel they could easily lose the other one. She?s testing you and may not be ready for NM but that?s a balancing act that only you can answer. But you also have choices in this and have the rest of your life ahead of you. Why should PTM?s OW suddenly become the one to spend Christmas with? A few months ago, after she was ?sicked-up ? into your family, your DD couldn?t get far enough away from her. Why should there be different rules for you having a new person in your life?

I would feel uncomfortable with your DD planning to go elsewhere at Christmas. It might sound a good idea at the moment and an emotive issue for her to dangle in front of you. I?m sorry if this sounds negative, but as a scenario I can see her saying ?yes?, then in the days leading up to it, be plagued with doubts and mess you around, drawing you into emails/conversations with PTM. Perhaps not, but it has the capacity to be a drip feed of pain for you.

From another angle, if she?s about to tackle more exams/mocks, there is a lot of pressure on them these days. Without the comfort of the nuclear family that she thought she had at the beginning of the year, she may be feeling lost and on her own, and that NM will take you away from her. I know thats not going to happen, but she may feel she?s not at the top of the list anymore and doesn't know how to express that without winding you up.

Sorry for my ramble. Smile xx

wellthatsdoneit · 01/12/2011 22:30

McNaughty has a very good point that your daughter has been aware for far less time than either you or the ex have that all was not well. I think she is mourning the loss (or the change at any rate) of her family unit. I think she is also testing your boundaries - who do you love more, me or NM? Who will you love more in five years time, me or NM? I hope you can convey to her that your children will always be your first and foremost priority regardless of who else is around in your life. She is angry at the change in her life that has been forced upon her by her father and she is doing what many of us do when we are angry which is take it out on those we love and trust most, whose love we know deep down to be unconditional because we know they will not desert us no matter what.

BeforeAndAfter · 02/12/2011 02:09

Hey Wisey

I was just catching up and couldn?t just ?read and run? despite the late hour and my bed definitely beckoning!

Sorry to hear about DD. Do you have any idea where she?s planning to move to - if her thoughts have got that far? Or is she ?just? threatening to go and play happy families with her Dad? If that?s the case then I do think she?s playing a mean game of brinkmanship that only a teenage girl can play (I remember that age ... vaguely).

I?m sure I?m teaching grandma to suck eggs here but I don?t know how much time you spend with her doing girly / fun things (the dreaded ?quality time? expression) but do you think it?s worth spending, say, one evening a week with her, going out, just the two of you, say, bowling or doing a manicure or pedicure together at home? (She may not be in to that sort of thing but whatever she likes go for it with her!).

Perhaps you could spend one day every other weekend with her going out somewhere - either shopping or a theme park or some such. I dunno - just something that will make her feel like NM makes you feel - wanted and special. I am sure you will be accused of being ?false? when you suggest it because you are her trusted Mum which means you cannot win (!) but I?m sure she will lap up her Mum-time and maybe when you?ve done it a few times she will start to feel less jealous of the time NM gets to spend with you.

Whatever happens, for what it?s worth, I don?t think you should give up NM. You have been incredibly lucky to find him so quickly as you didn?t have to kiss too many frogs but maybe he needs to fade into the background a little bit. I?m sure he will understand as I think he?s got kids too, hasn?t he? So he should understand.

Take care Wisey. You?re a fabulous Mum and DD knows that in her heart - if she had the slightest doubt about you she wouldn?t be testing you like this. It?s only because you are as solid as a rock that she feels she can push back against you like she is. DD hasn?t forgotten that you?re a fab Mum for all her pretence and bluster so you musn?t forget that either.

Thinking of you

B&A xx

Saffysmum · 02/12/2011 11:27

Hi Wisey

DDs reaction doesn't surprise me in the least. Ptm turned her world upside down and her 'mum and dad' are still her mum and dad, but not the unit she grew up with and depended upon. She doesn't trust relationships at the moment, because the one that she saw as real and rock solid broke down. I have one daughter slightly older than yours, and one a year younger. I've said this before, but I think it's worth repeating - I thank god that both of mine have lovely, steady boyfriends. This is because the boyfriends have given them their own relationships to focus on rather than twunts with the new woman.

One of my DDs has met (without wanting to) the OW, and is disgusted and outraged that her dad, who she saw all her life with her mum, can move on so quickly with another woman. Even though she now realises that OW was on the scene when dad was still with me. Other daughter refuses to meet "the cow" and has told dad that she may never want to. This is because although girls this age flounder between childhood and adulthood, they also are having trouble seeing either mum or dad in another relationship.

I had a similar situation with eldest daughter a couple of weeks ago. It was horrible. A silly row sparked out of nothing - I'd lost a patient at work, came home exhausted and was seriously thinking about jacking in nursing. Walked in and tripped over daughters boots. Banged my knee, swore at daughter for "leaving the sodding things there", and all hell broke out. I was a lousy mother, I didn't give them as much allowance as their friends got. She was sick of staying in three nights a week to "babysit" her 14 year old bro. She hated me and hated home. All I ever did was tell her off, and nag her. It was her house too, and if she decided to leave her boots on the door mat, she would, etc..etc... After 10 minutes of this, she burst into tears and went upstairs. I go upstairs to have a bath. By the time this is over, she's gone. Had phoned dad, told him to pick her up, thrown some stuff together, and gone "to stay with dad". I learn this from her sister.

I suddenly realised that this could be the pattern for the next few years. DD throws a strop, I respond as calmly as possible, she refuses to back down, so runs to dad. I suppose she thought I'd call her and beg her to return. I wanted to, but I didn't. I had a good cry, then didn't contact her. Twunt texted to say that she would stay with him all weekend. I bit the bullet, and told him that I thought it would be a good idea if she stayed the week - to give us both some breathing space. He went quiet, but agreed. Told twunt that he could drop her off anytime to collect her school stuff and more clothes.

Next morning she returned, to stay. I was hurt by her action in going, but I think she got the message that I will not treat her differently because she has a bolt hole to flee to.

Your daughter is terrified that she's going to lose her mum, like she did her dad. She still has to understand (and she will in time) that you are both the same, that she is paramount to you both, but you both have your own lives. Stay firm in your unswaying love for her, but don't compromise on what you want. It's such early days to have a NM to cope with, with all that has happened in her world, which has been shaken to the core. She will adapt. Play down your feelings for him in front of her, make her your priority without going overboard. Give her your blessing to do what she wants for Christmas - but reinforce that you'd love nothing more but to spend it with her.

Stay strong.

Anniegetyourgun · 02/12/2011 11:53
TimeForChristmasSpirit · 02/12/2011 11:55

Lovely post Saffy Smile

cenicienta · 02/12/2011 13:29

I think the key is for her to feel you're listening to her.

Ask her what it is she wants from you.

Ask her how she thinks you should behave.

She'll probably come to realise herself that she's not being exactly reasonable in her expectations. If she doesn't then you can let her know you've listened to her and appreciate how she's feeling, then can modify your actions accordingly, but ultimately you have to live your life the way you think is right.

Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job by the way. And DD sounds like a healthy teenager who is trying to navigate her way through this shipwreck she finds herself in.

AnotherMumOnHere · 04/12/2011 22:19

Lots of great advice here Wisey, wish it had been there when i was going through my split. We must remember that our children go through it a lot rougher than we do.

Wisedupwoman · 07/12/2011 08:26

I've had horrible flu so sorry for not responding before now, thank you. DD is alot better and reassured I'm not going to abandon her whatever happens, we're back on track and now she's actually becoming a mate of NM.

On the subject of which - You heard it here first.

NM proposed.

OP posts:
McNaughty · 07/12/2011 09:05

Wow Wisey Grin

Firstly, hope you're feeling better and on the mend. Great to hear that you have managed to calm things down with DD and reassure her that you are still the same Mum you have always been. I feel relieved for you.

And... OMIGOD (just seen Legally Blonde at The Savoy so its a girly squeal from me) Thats a huge surprise and one which I hope makes you very happy.

Take time to let it sink in and take time to make any decisions. I can't really make too many comments as I got engaged - many moons ago - after only going out with my DH for a couple of months.

I'm really happy for you - whatever you decide.

Wisedupwoman · 07/12/2011 16:31

Oh thank you McNaughty that's so lovely.

Time, yep you bet. Actually it struck me this morning (it only happened last night and he'd been working his way up to it - bless) that I haven't even applied for the decree absolute yet but there's no hurry and he's not free either for a while. That's a GOOD THING because I haven't finished being romanced to within an inch of my life.

When I was ill he brought hot water bottles and chocolate. Ain't that sweet?

But, anticipating all the obvious, I know that it wasn't that long ago I was a dishevelled mess. And he knows all about that, knows this Christmas is going to be a bit hard, knows there's still alot to be finalised. But he's very solution focussed and grown up, very patient. So it's just wonderful to be desired like that and I'm going to enjoy every single second!!!!

OP posts:
MinesaGandT · 07/12/2011 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AnotherMumOnHere · 08/12/2011 17:27

Congratulations Wisey.

Enjoy taking your time taking it in .............. you have loads of time anyway, after all, he hasnt even started divorce proceedings yet has he? Or have I missed something while i was on holiday.

Enjoy your time with him and your family.

TC xx

wiseoldowl · 09/12/2011 13:27

Wow Wisey, so very pleased to hear your news Xmas Grin.

Hats all round ladies, although not too much of a rush as Wisey is very sound,secure woman now and will not be rushed into anything that she is not totally sure about.

catsrus · 09/12/2011 15:15

bloody hell!

well congratulations! I can't imagine wanting anything other than being on my own now :) Just a year and 8 days since exH left and he's remarried and the dcs are I are, I think, better off without him - though I know that might be my wishful thinking wrt the dcs.

but you're a grown up and should know your own mind, so good luck to you and have fun!!!

Dozer · 09/12/2011 15:58

Wow! So what're you going to say?!

Dozer · 09/12/2011 16:00

Bet whatever your decision you'll be getting plenty of romance and pressies this xmas! Xmas Envy

Dozer · 09/12/2011 16:00
Xmas Grin
Wisedupwoman · 09/12/2011 18:07

WOW indeed! Thank you all, especially Dozer for the emoticons!

Met his DD yesterday, who is lovely very sweet, she shared her chocolate with me and thinks I'm cute.

Well, what do you think I've said?

I'm a marrying kinda gal - yes.

OP posts:
Wisedupwoman · 09/12/2011 18:08

oops, because I love the bones of him, of course!!!

OP posts:
Dozer · 09/12/2011 18:55

Ooooh, major! First, big congratulations, he's a lucky man and sounds like he knows it!

But (being dull) what does this mean for the financial settlement? And dd?

V sorry to raise such stuff!

Dozer · 09/12/2011 18:56

Tis all v romantic.

Wisedupwoman · 09/12/2011 19:56

Does not make a jot of difference to the settlement - i'll hold out as long as it takes to get what my sol says i'm entitled to.

As for DD, by the time it all takes place she'll be fine, we want to live together before any nuptials and i'm definitely not in a rush. i still quite value my life as it is, it's just enhanced by having NM in it.

OP posts:
Dozer · 09/12/2011 20:41

Ah, that's good, important that you get fair settlement after all that you went through......history now, even before NM!

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