After divorce, trying to move on is like doing a square dance with both feet tied together. Update.

[Wisedupwoman]

First came to MN (a life-saver) in March:

Then DH, now XH (very quick divorce) was into second OW which I found out through his deceitful, sloppy and disgusting attempts to take the cowards way out. Could not believe the man I loved for 20 years had spent 4 years lying and cheating his way through life and who then went on to try and manipulate all our DC's (and still is, divorce doesn't change anything).

We are now into mediation, I have a sol who is waiting in the wings to advise on settlements. I have, despite all the turmoil, secured a better job on higher salary and our DD has a place at 6th form. XH has been living with OW since he left, and I went no contact within 2 weeks of his leaving. He hates this as he is unable to control the situation so interrogates DC's - my adult DS's have cut him out, yet XH still tries with eldest DS, who finds it hard not to feel sorry for XH despite his awful behaviour. All our friends have cut XH out, none of them liked him it turns out and his colleagues have long called XH 'the artful dodger'. So this was a man who led a double life and I have been trying to come to terms with this and move on.

This thread is about that - trying to move on and deal with the reality that whilst I am trying to hold my chin up and tits out, XH is going to be a part of my life through our DD whether I like it or not.

I want to give my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to everyone who has thus far been so wonderful and unstinting in their MN support for me - who have walked the journey with me even in the midst of their own sadness.

Don't forget the condoms Wisey - just in case.

Good choice Wisey. Providing he supplies a microwaveable gourmet meal for 2 and a couple of bottles of premier plonk, he can be the dessert and I'm sure you'll find room for seconds

Good for you Wisey, but just be wary, he isn't named Mr SS for no reason!

As long as you are going into this with your eyes wide open and being true to yourself I think this can only be good for you.

This the scene.
Am buffed, polished and have drop dead gorgeous outfit ready as - we're going to lovely restaurant where he can 'show me off' and vice versa.
Followed by trip back to flat where logs, tealights, olives, wine, rug, music and CONDOMS are waiting.

Eyes open? I don't want to blink in case I miss a second of his lovely bod!

I'm so fecking excited I can't tell you.

and for those who are cautioning me - flat is right next door to my oldest and most protective male friend and his DW, who are well aware what's happening tonight. I am covered.
Be happy for me. I so am.

It all sounds wonderful. You will look wonderful. I just know it.

I think you know me rather well Wisey:-

I AM so happy for you. Have fun. Have oodles of delicious fun. You will feel so alive, so ravishing and so ravished by tomorrow morning.

Cautioning you, Wisey? Who's been cautioning you? The only caution I'll give you is one you can throw to the wind - after the one you've already chucked at it.

Hope last night exceeded your expectations in every way.

Thank you all.

The date? The most romantic I've ever had. Everything was wonderful and exactly what Wisey needed, perfect timing and perfect setting - fab restaurant on the beach - oysters, scallops, lobster, wine. Log fire, candlelight, Nat King Cole (yes, really you can keep your modern 'popular music'!).

The man? The lushest. We've talked about what next. What's next is more of the above. "What a fucking idiot to let you go" is Mr SS's take on PTM.

Is this a dream? Someone pinch me and wake me up!

You give me hope Wisey . Date sounds lovely - am very happy for you

Amazing Wisey.

How fantastic it is to read about your date. I am so pleased for you. He's made you happy - just perfect. Enjoy every moment.

He's right, PTM is a fucking idiot. But PTM's history and I don't reckon you'll shed many tears about him now. Keep looking forward.

Wisey, Wisey, Wisey! I log on for the first time for weeks, and you are having the time of your life! You go girl! Am proud of you hunni x

So now Mr SS knows what we all know. Oh, I hope PTM got a glimpse of the two of you while curtain twitching his saggy bedsit nets.

Methinks Wisey's walking on air - albeit a tad like John Wayne

Oh, and Media Man surprised me and came over last night. Me? Dog. Two Tails? Yeah.

oooh, what lovely gossip!

Wow Wisey, you always amaze me with your progress. Contrary to some others, I think you should let Mr SS treat you.....and treat you right! I don't think PTM was ever in that state of mind....so enjoy it and don't say no. You're worth being fussed over and treated well....and you will still be in complete control of everything no matter....I can't wait to read this evolve. You've put a great big smile on my face.......and thanks for bringing me back onto the "net" - you're a very special person!

I'm so pleased to read your post Wisey! SS is a lucky man and ptm's loss is ss's gain.

And there was you wanting the thread to fizzle out Wisey ..... shame on you.

Methinks Wisey is all loved up ............ where are you ?? ROFL.

Instalment number two:

Following the amazing date from heaven on Saturday, Sunday evening at 9.30 Wisey sends a joke text to Mr SS saying "oh no, have run out of tobacco, pop down the shop and buy me some hon" (the joke being he lives about 50 miles away).

What did he do? He came over with tobacco and we spent two hours necking and talking in the back of his car like a couple of teenagers and it's been pretty much like that ever since. he gave me his sweater before he went home..... aw.......! I've told him I need a couple of days until we HAVE A WEEKEND TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND so I can do stuff I need to do. He pretty much is putty in my hands and has said so. Loved (lusted) up? You bet your life I am.

So I am having the time of my life, we get on so, so well it's great.

PTM? Hisssssssstory.

I bloody love you Wisey I do. You are so inspirational. I'm somgald younare having a blast - you thoroughly deserve it.

Hey, so pleased for you Wisey. You had a drought for so many years now its time for you to live !! Go for it girlie. xx

He pretty much is putty in my hands

That's my kind of man Wisey. Enjoy!!

PT... who?????

blimey!!!!

[hgrin]

[hsmile]

I'm sorry to crow but life just doesn't get much better than this:

Friday. We meet at local hotel on the beach. He looks fucking lovely and meets me at my car with a glass of wine. We walk into town before dinner. Pass by a nail and beauty bar. He says "do you go there much?" I say "I've never had my nails done, no". He looks aghast and says "What, never?" "No" I say. He says "PTM never treated you to things, did he?" And I say "No, not really".

Before I knew it I was in there with my feet in a bowl of fishy things whilst Mr SS indulgently filmed my squeals of laughter, and then sat close by watching my face as i saw my nails transformed into beautifully manicured and polished nails.

Then dinner, and a lovely weekend here walking on the beach (seeing PTM's 'friends' [hgrin] and a sad but lovely farewell until the next time.

It's lovely, just lovely to feel adored and desired and understood and accepted for who I am warts and all.

Just wanted you to know.

So pleased for you Wisey, after such a crap time you deserve a good time. Enjoy. xx

XH sometimes treated me to stuff. Of course it all went on the credit card which I paid...

just thinking of those early posts of yours and grinning my head away here!!!