Another strategy for when they want to sit down and have a "talk"
Bearing in mind that their intention is not to resolve anything, and that this is simply another tactic, you don't need to pay much attention to the words AT ALL.
As I said to another poster recently, they are like toddlers in their behaviour (toddlers being natural narcissists) so imagine it is a toddler babbling away to you. They are just looking for a response, not a conversation. So to avoid getting drawn in, remember first that it is all blah-blah-blah-babble, and keep your responses encouraging, but with only the appearance of engagement, so it would go something like this.
Him: We need to talk
You: Ok. (Sits down, looks attentive, starts thinking about food shop for next week)
Him: Well? Do you have anything to say?
You: You're the one inviting the talk, here I am do we need more washing-up liquid
Him: This is just another example of your lack of willingness to try
You: Sorry can you be more specific? bugger, did I remember to wash DD's gym kit?
Him: What do you mean? Are you stupid? I said-
You: You said lack of willingness to try (deep sigh), but try at what?I hope this is over in time for me to watch Dr Who
Him: (looking disconcerted) Our marriage of course!
At which point you now have the choice to say.
You: Yes, yes, I see your point (pretends to think for a minute) I need to really have a think about how I can make things better for myself Yes...shall we have a talk again in a few days?
Him: (opens his mouth to speak)
You: Only I really have to get DD's gym kit ready for tomorrow and watch Dr Who
OR, if you have time to watch him squirm, ask him to get into specifics. Keep asking for more and more detail and if he has a go at you, look hurt and say "I was just trying to help. Maybe we should talk later. You look tired"
Any use? 