My boyfriend is a selfish lover and I don't know what to do

[Teaparty001]

Hi everyone, first post in here. Sorry if it's crude in parts.

I'm 25, been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. He's great and so is our relationship except he is selfish in bed.

I am a very sexual person and enjoy good sex and prior to my boyfriend I had very attentive boyfriends who put me first and me them.

My current boyf literally just wants to fuck (sorry). He wants to put it in, come and go to sleep. I've spoken to him four times now about it, I've told him what I need and what turns me on, how to touch me, I've also showed him websites with tips for men and foreplay etc etc. he's always a bit hurt, plus he's a real prude and doesn't like talking about sex.

After we talk about it things will be ok for a week or so but then slowly return. Also when hes actually putting effort in, I've now got a mental block so I cannot come because I feel pressure to because I know he just wants to cut to the chase.

I don't know if I can be with someone who doesn't care if I'm satisfied or not. But everything else in the relationship is good - we go on nice holidays, make eachother laugh, we should be moving in together this year too which I'm having doubts about.

Any advice welcome

of course you do, love

I know I have called him a dick, but you should be fair to him really

even dicks deserve to be treated decently

going on holiday with him will make him think everything is ok, and it isn't

you are not happy with him, and you are dabbling in a relationship with another man

not cool

tell him it's over, so you can both be free to pursue people who suit you better he can fuck his mummy then

I know, you're right. He doesn't deserve this at all. I'm not going any further with om until it's over between us. Sometimes emotions take over but it's no excuse

Look at it this way. And I know it's been said. You have learnt from the experience and the time you've spent with him hasn't been wasted.

But he isn't compatible with you and honestly can you see yourself still with him in 50 years? That's the acid test

he deserves to be dumped but there are ethical ways of doing it

What about if I tell him I need space/time to think and tell him why? Maybe he will see how serious I am then? Being single is so shite and it's hard to find a decent bloke in London who actually wants a relationship

Again, I agree with AF. As usual

Being single isn't shite. Honestly. I liked being single and shagging every man I felt like shagging having a good time with my mates.

You need to sort your own head out before you jump straight into another relationship.

I know I'm just seeing if there's anyway to salvage this one. I wouldn't want a relationship with the om, he's clearly just a bad boy and awful boyfriend material

no, that is rubbish

a common get-out when you are too chicken to end a relationship

what will you when your "thinking time" has ended

just not call him?

what would you use the time for ?

going out on the pull ? And if you didn't pull, you would go back to him (for a while)

that is not cool, seriously

wtf is wrong with being single ? Can't you manage without a man ?

So dump NOM and if the OM is single, make him a fuck buddy

I can manage fine, was single for 2 years prior, I am complete without a man but once you've had someone there nearly everyday for 2 years you do get used to having someone. Being single isn't shit, I'm just scared and worded it wrong, it was fun at times

After my thinking time was done I would see and make him prove he has taken into consideration why we needed a break. If nothing had changed then i would go for good

ok, sorry for jumping on you

before you posted this thread, you thought you were simply going to get some tips to make your bf a better lover (oh, how we larfed ...)

one step at a time

decide if you want to stay with NOM

if you don't, take steps to end it

Right again, AF

No, I honestly knew I would get these replies because they are right doesn't make it easier, in fact it makes it fucking scary.

But yes, one step at a time

ok, so you want to give him another chance

so, you should be honest with him

tell him he doesn't satisfy you in bed, and the ways in which you want to work together to make it better for you

you could also consider telling him you have been conducting an EA with another man, and see if that makes him prick his ears up

you have nothing to lose

you are young, childfree, live in London, have lived the independent life before, can support yourself

push for what you want

if it isn't him, move on

those are the options, chuck

I think that both "taking a break" and also "going on holiday with him" will not help you to reach a decision

you need to be clear about your expectations with him, being completely truthful

his reaction to that will guide you as to which way to jump, I think

Again, I agree with AF

And you need to get some sort of sense as to what the actual bastard fuck is going on with the situation with his mother - because if you don't sort that out now, you will never sort it.

I'm so torn. I do want to give him a chance but I've told him all that stuff already, I'm very open about sex.

I know what's going to happen, I'm going to stay with him it's comfortable until something better comes along and makes me come. Awful but true

Yeah, here's my expectation - give me an orgasm, two even! Ffs

Comfortable is only ever for old jammies and slippers.

Not exactly asking for diamonds here

Yes, I think that is what you are going to do, too

therefore throwing more good time after bad

FWIW, no decent bloke will come near you while you are in a relationship with another man

the only "comers" you will attract are opportunists, losers and blokes who are "not good boyfriend material"

ring any bells ?

That is true. Name change to TrueFucker for me?

I won't put up with this for much longer, promise

Some call me AuntyFucker (since I am old enough to be your aunty, and your mother )

Love it. Off to bed to think. Thank you for all the advice and for letting me purge