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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Had an awful night with DP (sudden aggression/intimidation)

171 replies

AFieldOfPaperFlowers · 19/07/2011 22:43

Been with DP 3 years, lived together for the past year. He's never been aggressive towards me but has shouted during arguments etc (but don't we all) and I noticed he is an aggressive driver but thats not directed at me. Anyway I have noticed he gets a little more aggressive after a drink but as he doesn't drink much it was never really an issue but for the past few months he's gradually started drinking more and more. Last night he came home with a big crate of lagers that he said were on offer. He opened one as soon as he got home and drank it within 10 mniutes and opened another. He offered to me to help myself but I said it was too early for me and I'd join him with a drink later.

About an hour later I went for a shower and by the time I got out he'd drank 6 cans altogether and his mood had totally changed, he didn't speak to me as I entered the living room or even look at me. I sat down next to him and snuggled upto him as usual. He didn't react or put his arm around me or anything. I asked if he fancied watching a movie with me and he said "who's Dave?" Confused so I said "Dave who??" and he snapped "well how many fucking daves are there??" so I sat up and said "do you mean dave from work?" and he said "I dont know, whichever dave keeps texting you". I realised then that he'd been through my phone while I was in the shower and the texts from this dave were all work related apart from one which was regarding a work night out which he'd sent to a few people. I said "He's just someone I work with" so he said "and how often do you see him out of work?" so I said "never" so he shouted in my face "dont fucking lie to me, ive seen the texts". I stood up and went into the kitchen to get a glass of milk (and to get away from him) and he followed me and put his arms at either side of me so I was between him and the work surface and then said again in my face "how often do you see him out of work". I tried to gently move his arm away so I could leave but he wouldn't move and so I said "look, if you just talk to me properly instead of shouting I'll go through it all with you" so he shouted that I couldn't even look him in the eye and so I said that was because he was intimidating me and I wanted to leave the kitchen. He eventually moved but refused to speak to me for the rest of the night whilst repeating "don't think you've got away with it" etc.

I dont know how to deal with this. we've hardly spoken today but that is a side to him I've not seen before and I dont like it Sad

OP posts:
BadTasteFlump · 21/07/2011 21:01

She was definitely smiling on the website - that's all I'm saying Grin

AnyFucker · 21/07/2011 21:03

we use flumps in our chocolate dip

never again

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 21:06

Can I be in your gang if i swear? bastard, bollocks, shit, arse,... hole, gobbler!

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 21:12

And Piss or whatever your damn name is... find a spelling mistake in that lot!

BadTasteFlump · 21/07/2011 21:13

Hmm funny how good your spelling gets when you're being rude Hmm

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 21:20

I know! Must be because i learned them at such an early age and had soo much practice. I can also swear in 4 other languages very well....

Ormirian · 21/07/2011 21:21

DH drinks stella.

He gets drunk (a bit wobbly, sentimental and over-precise in his speech). He doesn't get violent. Any man who calls it 'wife-beater' and still chooses to drink it must be a rather sick individual.

Ormirian · 21/07/2011 21:23

Sorry if that was a bit of a time-warp for those of you who've stuck it out the whole thread but I got to the stella bit and stopped.

BadTasteFlump · 21/07/2011 21:24

Ha ha Ormirian no actually you've made me feel a bit guilty for completely hijacking this thread with a load of bollocks!

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 21:32

Well girls.... carry on... just had to get my own back a tad for earlier! take care and enjoy x

AnyFucker · 21/07/2011 21:35

gobbler ?

gobbler ??

is that the best you can do ??

Grin
mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 22:34

Well AF no, guess i can do better... heres one i heard when i worked for a german..... I will pull of your head and suck out from your neck. Lets face it, theres only so many swear words one can say. Oh and of course our children say stuff like "gay" and "your mother" lol

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 22:37

"off" of course just in case the spelling malitia are around?? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AnyFucker · 21/07/2011 22:37

Grin at "your mother"

it's like the worst insult ever

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 22:38

militia? shit fuck arse... best do spell check! not!

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 22:40

lol... at the moment i guess it is.

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 22:47

Good to meet you and thanks for running the course x I just get a bit upset (of course she doesnt) when maybe gentle first and let it unfold could be an option. If someone is really really in a muddle its my way of getting them comfortable enough to talk.

AnyFucker · 21/07/2011 22:50

good night

AnyFucker · 21/07/2011 22:50

btw, I never corrected your spelling, but I did extract the piss out of all your !!!!!!!! Smile

mumsamilitant · 21/07/2011 22:59

Bad habit and noted! sweet dreams

TDada · 23/07/2011 05:51

So sweet........!!!

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