DH went to strip club last night. 3 dances. Am I stupid & naive to feel so sad about it?

[bail]

DH came in at 5am last night. I was relaxed about it as he only goes out infrequently (every couple of months) and I trust him (or should I say, I USED to trust him).

Anyway, to cut a long story short, after initially lying to me, I discovered he went to a very swish and expensive strip club in near Mayfair. He had three dances.

I am upset, I keep imagining gorgeous girls dancing for him, wearing next to nothing and then my DH handing over money to them for the pleasure.

What do others think about this?

Rob do you really not see the difference between paying for a lap dance and 'looking at attractive women'?

With an attitude like yours I don't think you need worry about any woman putting you 'on a pedestal'

Just say it, Rob

we are frigid

come right out with it

of course my H likes to look at scantily-clad women, he has a sex drive doesn't he ?

he has a moral conscience too though, and if there is a high chance some poor daughter/mother/sister (son/father/brother) of someone has been coerced for whatever reason into pretending to fancy him for the money, he ain't interested

you see, he is only interested in consensual sex, with a willing partner

that seems normal to me though, not a majority viewpoint at all

"Rob do you really not see the difference between paying for a lap dance and 'looking at attractive women'?"

Do I see the difference. Yes.

But they are part of the same thing, the same iceberg, to use an analogy that was used earlier. The idea that lapdancing is the tip of the iceberg is wrong. Any profession where women provide a paid for service to men has an element of sexuality to it. Hairdressing, waitressing, bar-work, shop-work, you name it.

For what its worth RobF (very little I'm sure) I wouldn't go into a Hooters bar either. Nor would my husband.

There is a big difference between noticing someone and their particular attractiveness and going to a club where women are paid to perform for mens sexual pleasure.

how's about I show you my tits along with those pork chops you just bought for your tea ?

"My name is Trisha, happy to help"

what the fucking fuck ??

Any profession where women provide a paid for service to men has an element of sexuality to it. Hairdressing, waitressing, bar-work, shop-work, you name it.

I can't believe you've just said that. I really can't

I don't usually get involved in these threads but seriously...WTF?!

You are actually just trying to wind us up now, aren't you?

And no, I'm not frigid, far from it. I just don't want my DP leering at another woman's vagina whilst shoving a £20 down her knickers, because he's supposed to be with me. It shows a complete lack of disrespect to the person you're with IMO.

Any profession where women provide a paid for service to men has an element of sexuality to it. Hairdressing, waitressing, bar-work, shop-work, you name it.

Really Rob? You are weird. I used to stack shelves in Asda. Nothing sexy about that, I can assure you

Time to stop feeding the dirty little troll I think......

Can I complain about being called "a sex offender" for stating an opinion? Disagreeing with it is fine, but calling people sex offenders is out of order IMO.

@BulletWithAName: Do you REALLY think there is not a sexual element to waitressing, bar-work or hairdressing? Really? Come on.

RobF- No, I bloody well don't! Please, enlighten us all as to how those jobs have a sexual side to them? Or am I completely missing the point here?

Jesus...

Of course you can complain about it, Rob

But if it walks like a duck....

Jesus this is disturbing

www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/06/01/blonde-waitresses-with-large-boobs-get-biggest-tips-115875-22300491/

Yes go on Rob. You have our attention, well done, now please explain yourself. We're listening.

Rob, I didn't necessarily agree with you but I thought you sounded like a pretty typical type of male perspective and it was worth listening to what you had to say, until you said you thought there was a sexual element to hairdressing. Now I am just slightly concerned for your hairdresser.

Must say Rob I nearly pissed myself at this "sexual element" to hairdressing, I'm a hairdresser and I'm no looker. You sound like the man I have banned from my salon for the way he spoke to a junior member of my staff - pathetic!

I expect Levi Bellfield had a similar attitude towards women...

All those sluts coming into the nightclub where he worked...they were "asking for it^ weren't they

because there is a sexual element to being a woman

which is even more unfortunate when that starts getting applied to 13 yo girls...and 11 yo girls...

Rob, my 15 yo dd works as a waitress...do you think she is up for sex with you too ?

the last bloke who thought that got his fucking head taken clean off (metaphorically)

I do some some private tutoring. Does that make me a sex slave?