DH went to strip club last night. 3 dances. Am I stupid & naive to feel so sad about it?

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DH came in at 5am last night. I was relaxed about it as he only goes out infrequently (every couple of months) and I trust him (or should I say, I USED to trust him).

Anyway, to cut a long story short, after initially lying to me, I discovered he went to a very swish and expensive strip club in near Mayfair. He had three dances.

I am upset, I keep imagining gorgeous girls dancing for him, wearing next to nothing and then my DH handing over money to them for the pleasure.

What do others think about this?

Rob...a daily Mirror "article" is the best you can do ?

oh dear

"Sexual element" does not mean "up for sex with customers". That includes lapdancers.

I'm stopping posting on this subject now. I do not appreciate being called a "sex offender" or compared to a rapist and murderer. If you want this forum to be a haven for misandrists, who reinforce negative perceptions of men to each other, dooming each other to miserable lives of unhappiness, you're going the right way about it. If there was a male equivalent, it'd be scandalous and probably be shut down (and rightfully so).

Rob You are absaloutly determined to piss off as many people as possible today aren't you?

I got on the train today. As I brought my breasts with me, it was quite the sexual event.

Then my arse and I took my children to the playground. It was like an orgy with all the Dads there.

There is a male equivalent, it's called www.4chan.org and you sound like you came straight from there.

On that site the most used phrase is "Tits or GTFO."

You won't be missed, Rob. Especially as I work in a prison for adult men and take great offence at any kind of "sexual element" being linked to my job.

FWIW I mentioned what you said to my DH and his first words were "he's obviously a pervert then." Make of that what you will.

yanbu. my dh would be out on his ear for that - maybe not forever but i'd need some thinking time. i cant imagine what id think past that stage.

having just read 'the equality illusion' (mentioned on mn obv!) about what its like to be a lapdancer i think i'd vomit if dh paid for this. custardo sort of suggests its akin to flirting with/kissing another girl.......its really not - if the dh had done that you'd know it was consensual - not that it owuld make it ok but to illustrate a point. agree with other posters that lapdancing is where you pay to sexually abuse a woman.

op if your dh gives you any crap about how lapdancers are empowered and do the job cos they lenjoy it then there is no hope imo. but then since he isnt grovelling anyway....

he osunds as if his stance is 'put up with this or suffer'

sad

I don't think there are many websites where any women daring to post get compared to sex offenders or murderers (or whatever would be the worst thing a woman could be compared to) for having the temerity to put across a female viewpoint.

This site gets worse and worse. It's not representitive of mothers at all, just feminist man-bashers.

Rob, if you don't want to be compared to a sex offender, then stop spouting opinions that make you sound like one

What AnyFucker said.

And weren't you going?

Not all feminists btw! I'm not!

In fact, I quite like the idea of being a house wife. :)

But my DP also thinks you sound like you came from 4chan and on that website if a woman posts a question she will not be answered unless she shows pictures of her breasts.

If 4chan was called 'Dadsnet' you might have a point.

You are not stupid, in my view he is the stupid one for telling you!

There will be husbands of people posting on here who have done this but who won't have told you. Stag do's are notorious for this.

Whether it's right or wrong is up to the partner of the individual.

I have never had a "dance" as I find it a bit embarrassing to be honest. I have been to a few though and always on stag do's etc..

Rob, it may not be called Dadnet but I am positive a fair amount of the guys on there are Fathers. Just the same as many women and men on here are not parents.

Is Rob saying that mothers should be nicer to him? It's all a bit madonna-whore complex, isn't it?

I'm saying that this is supposed to be a respected website for normal mothers. Not man-hating extreme feminists.

If the owners of the website want to keep it relevent, brought up in Parliament as representitive of British mothers, they need to clamp down on the extremism. I see at least one of the posts referring to me as a sex-offender has been removed, which is one thing to be thankful for I guess.