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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It's happened again...

509 replies

rockyroadtoruin · 23/06/2011 21:47

A month ago my DH came home drunk. he took a dislike to something I said and hit me. At the time he said I deserved it and called me some foul names but once he sobered up the next day he was very sorry for what he did and promised it was a one off.

I was in complete shock as he had never been violent before, plus we have a 2 year old DD and baby on the way who I have to think about so I forgave him. Maybe I am naive but I thought that would be the end of it.???

After work tonight he had two friends round, they had some drinks and we were all chatting and having a bit of a laugh. but when they left he snapped.
He shouted that I had made him look like a complete fool and I had been flirting with his friend. I tried asking what he was talking about but he said I disgust him.he told me to get away from him and pushed me backwards onto the chair Sad

I don't know what to do. I don't think I can cope with two children on my own. Can I make him change? Will counselling help?

OP posts:
Fifis25StottieCakes · 28/06/2011 00:31

I keep checking to see if shes managed to get online. Hope your ok Rocky. It will all seem strange at first but keep on going and you will come out the other end in a much better position for you and your kids

candzsmum · 28/06/2011 00:33

Well done - I feel very humbled by your courage and wish you all the very best!

rockyroadtoruin · 28/06/2011 10:18

just to let you know i?m safe, women here are lovely and we have an ensuite room so only have to share kitchen and lounge which isn?t too bad. Sent a very brief message to H to let him know we are ok and i?ll be in touch then quickly changed sim over to pay as you go so don?t know what his reaction was.
dd settled fine last night, little darling. trying to stay strong for her and have managed not to cry too much. Spoke to my parents who are absolutely devastated and want me to go home to them. Would love to if it wasn?t so far away but not very practical i?m afraid.

Can?t believe all the messages from people on here, thanks so much Smile

OP posts:
proudnscaryvirginmary · 28/06/2011 10:25

Hi Rocky - I'm another one who's followed your thread and wishes you all the luck and love in the world. What you've done is really quite amazing, do not ever forget that. Not just because it has been so scary for you but because you have managed to keep his abusive voice out of your head, keep a clear mind and do this for your children. Proud xx

cestlavielife · 28/06/2011 11:50

well done rocky good luck to you and dd and baby

inatrance · 28/06/2011 12:32

Just caught up on this thread now, rocky I am so glad you are safe, you are amazingly brave and strong for getting out.

You can feel the power of all the women who are behind you on this thread, MN has never moved me so much.

Much love and hugs to you.

strawberry17 · 28/06/2011 12:36

Hi
I've just read this thread, I have no advice but just want to say I think you are so brave doing this and I wish you all the best!
strawbs

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 28/06/2011 12:42

Rocky: well done.

Smart move changing your sim card immediately. No contact is the safest thing, especially from an emotional pov.

I wish you and DC all the best.

ToscanaBambina · 28/06/2011 12:44

Rocky you are amazing. xxx

swallowedAfly · 28/06/2011 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mamalovebird · 28/06/2011 12:51

hi rocky,
i've been following this thread and just wanted to wish you all the best with your new adventure. You have done the most amazing thing for you and your children.

I grew up with my parents tearing strips out of each other until they finally went their seperate ways when I was 11 after it escalated out of control. I was so glad as it meant no more shouting, fear and listening to them tear each other apart (although I know your case is slightly different).

I'm so happy that because of you strong move, your dd and new baby won't have to endure that!

x

Jemma1111 · 28/06/2011 13:04

Rocky - You are an inspiration to others!

Keep staying strong and your confidence will one day be soaring, you have 1000,000% done the right thing by getting out, as your children grow they will learn from you that being in a disrespectful relationship is not normal and they will expect only the best from their own future relationships.

Shine on! xx

BerylOfLaughs · 28/06/2011 13:23

Well done Rocky. I really thought at one point that you were going to stay. So pleased you didn't.

mammya · 28/06/2011 13:26

well done Rocky, I've followed your story and I am very pleased that you are now safe.

We're all rooting for you!

dittany · 28/06/2011 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairyLightsForever · 28/06/2011 14:47

Another lurker here, so glad that you are safe and sending you many best wishes. You should be very proud of yourself for having come so far in such a short amount of time x

Fifis25StottieCakes · 28/06/2011 14:56

Glad to hear alls well at the refuge. Get your money sorted and you will get help with housing. Your in the best position you can be to move forward with housing.

Dont speak to ex as he will try and blackamil you into going back. Stay where you are and take all the help yu are offered.

MackerelOfFact · 28/06/2011 16:13

Wow. Incredible thread, MN at it's absolute best. Wishing you well, Rocky - you have done absolutely the right thing for yourself, your DD and your unborn baby.

TheRealMBJ · 28/06/2011 16:26

Well done and good luck.

cjel · 28/06/2011 16:33

Hope you rise and rise.xx

AnyFucker · 28/06/2011 21:24

bloody hell, I have something my eye again Blush

AnyFucker · 28/06/2011 21:24

in my eye

pickgo · 28/06/2011 21:24

WELL DONE ROCKY

.... now let the tension go and relax!

Hope you and your little DD are getting settled. .

Thinking of you and well done again for being so very brave and sensible.xx

LadyBlaBlah · 28/06/2011 21:41

Amazing Rocky. You rock! Smile

TheOriginalFAB · 28/06/2011 21:53

Rocky too far away from what? Him? Work? Friends?

Go to your parents, you will be safe and well looked after there and so will your children.

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