Oh, and re: closure, I was trying to find the bit on BaggageR about it but I think it was in one of the NC mailouts copied for you all below, all copyright BaggageR of course:
"Often when we feel angry, hurt, disappointed and a host of difficult emotions to deal with, we direct it at ourselves or we try to seek validation and closure with the other party hoping that it will make everything better. However the fact that you have to do No Contact is an intrinsic indicator that looking for validation and closure from them will create very limited results.
For them to understand and see their part and potentially feel remorse requires a level of introspection and reality that they're unlikely to be capable of.
If you've found yourself firing off emails, letters or even text messages trying to explain how you feel, what's happened, and essentially trying to get them to understand, or have been thinking about doing these things, the best thing you can do is not send them and instead use writing out your feelings and anger as a way to help you grieve the loss of the relationship, process your feelings, and get perspective."
she goes on to talk about the unsent letter as a useful tool for healing.
Right, I'm off to bed. Feel sick and pre-menstrual and quietly deranged, I cannot wait to have this tossing copper IUD removed. Appointment is on thursday evening. Whew!
Night, all. x