OK, new beginnings, new thread, it WAS right to serve divorce papers!

[Wisedupwoman]

I asked the question - Am I right to serve the divorce papers on my chameleon-like but definitely cheating, lying, cruel and manipulative STBXH. You all said "YES". So I have. The story continues.........

[Wisedupwoman]

jeez, years worth of unexpressed resentment - he'd be so shocked his remaining hair would drop out.

[Wisedupwoman]

Now, I am going off to sleep the sleep of an untroubled mind.

See you all soon.
xx

[mumthetaxi]

oh f* I am so going to regret posting this in the morning. just in case you happen to be in st stephens street on tuesday.

short, mediterranean looking
Calvin Kleins
tanned from most recent of (many) o/seas holidays!
has said previously that he thinks he looks a bit like robert de niro (ffs)
suit and braces gordon gekko style
clicky shiny shoes (ex-army... its all so predictable!)
greying hair teased into a kind of trendy quiff style
reeking of aftershave
shiny range rover parked in castle mall complete with labrador inside
attached to his iphone crammed full of trendy apps such as irun/whatsapp.
hopefully this also includes the app I bought him for his birthday recently - cheatingpartnertracker. its an app which you download and it tracks via the iphone where your errant partner is at any point in the day.
... shame I didnt download it before really!

me? I'll be in Primark - skinny, wrinkled, laughing with the kids and no doubt a few of their friends. Might even push the boat out and retire to pizza hut buffet next door to squander some of my tax credits lol - I am rich beyond anything money can buy! x

[Anniegetyourgun]

I tell you what, if I saw one of those walking down the street I'd trip him up just for being all those things you describe, regardless of whether he turns out to be your ex or not. Some people just want a good trippin'.

Not that I advocate violence of course.

[mumthetaxi]

I'd just like to say (very drunkenly) that you girls are just brimming with wit and humour in the face of serious adversity. I have just come in (alone) from town and laughed my bits off at what you lot have been saying whilst I was out - its everything I have been feeling about my XH but just needed an outlet to be able to say it without being judged by my happily married friends.

It seems we all take the p* but when it comes to our kids we are kosher and know we've got to keep it on a level for their sakes. I have started writing a book about my experinces learned over the past 10 months and when it comes to men, its not entirely positive. The only upside is that lifes not over at 44 - tho it seems the only men interested are much younger than me and its not fun talking about the Banana Splits to someone who looks at you blankly. I am rambling, sorry, sweet dreams everyone! xxxx

[Anniegetyourgun]

The only men interested in you are much younger than you?

[mumthetaxi]

mostly. but there have been a 60+ er and even a 70+ er too and I have been like "are you f-ing serious" (sorry I sound like one of my teenagers!)

please could I present a scenario to you ladies out there and ask me for your honest opinion??? its something that happened this morning x

[Wisedupwoman]

What is it MTT?

[mumthetaxi]

oh god you're going to think I am so pathetic. despite my bravado and everyone saying how well I am doing, I know I just bat everyone away that comes too close or even appears to be doing so. yet there is someone I like and something happened this morning that was a bit wierd. and funny too.

sorry WWW I really shouldnt be dumping like this - I dont even know you! its not fair x

[Wisedupwoman]

Well, you have three choices I guess. You can say it here, you can start your own thread (which may be more fruitful option as you'll get a larger and more varied response perhaps) or maybe someone in RL could help?

The beauty of MN is that we don't 'know' each other in one sense and that's what can be so freeing. So over to you!!

[mumthetaxi]

there is someone I like. its a small town here. we've met through work a couple of times and have mutual friends. he is dealing with the same stuff as us all, but on the flip side with a STBXW.
talking to one of our mutual friends the other day about me running. he referred to X saying "you should get X out, tho he would probably only go 100m before collapsing!" so I have established he is not a runner.
a couple of times over the past week I have run past his street 6.30 am ishy morning and strangely, he has been at the door talking to a mate so he has seen me go by. tho I have headphones on so god knows if he has said hello though I usually shout hi (way too loud I expect!)
another mutual friend on friday asked if I was working in the pub that night, and if not, what nights I work there now, in a strange kind of way, raising his eyebrows...
this morning. was running thru town and suddenly from nowhere there is X alongside me (RUNNING!) I'm sure he had been just standing by the cashpoint before I came round the corner.
he sprinted off in front of me (looking like he couldnt wait to get round the corner so he could stop!)
I nearly shouted out "oi! bugger off this is my running route!" but I had my sons headphones on and was listening to Rage against the Machine on top whack and I knew if I shouted it would come out way too loud and aggressively so i said nothing...
slunk home and looked at myself in the mirror - hungover, wearing hideous unfashionable trainers, shorts and my teenage sons Guns and Roses T shirt cos I couldnt be arsed to put the washing on yesterday. why oh why do I honestly think he could be vaguely interested in me?!! who am I kidding??!! just be brutally honest please ladies. I can take it. x

[AnyFucker]

why wouldn't he be interested in you ??

shorts and Guns'n'Roses t-shirt ?

running and sweating ? Good Lord, even I like the sound of you

I think he may be very interested (the sudden "penchant" for running etc).

IMO, you should just carry on doing what ou are doing and see what develops. Biiiiig smile when you see him. Chat a bit and give out friendly vibes. Take it from there.

< waits for next instalment >

[Anniegetyourgun]

Um, what sort of bloke, on seeing the woman of his dreams running past, is going to notice what brand her trainers are? Shorts is good - displays legs! And maybe he loves your taste in music (or your son's). If I may be a little coarse here, he's more likely to be interested in what's inside your T shirt than what's on the outside. If he is interested. Which he probably is.

Reckon he ought to tie up loose ends with his soon-to-be-ex-marriage before going on the lookout for tasty roadrunners though. Let's hope it doesn't take too long.

[mumthetaxi]

its sooo difficult, I am crap at flirting and all that stuff (well when sober anywayl!)

like all my friends say, I have "dont f*ing come anywhere near me" written all over my face every time a nice man makes a move. I dont mean to, its a self preservation thing I guess. because the reality is deep down that I have spent 20 years of my life trying to be a good wife and mum, with a man who has trashed me like an empty wrapper. and I cant ever let that happen to me again.

does anyone else have the same feelings here? x

[AnyFucker]

don't try and flirt if it will come out wrong

just be yourself

[mumthetaxi]

thank you.

off to get the flymo out. dont worry I'm not about to turn it on myself just yet, I think that would be somewhat premature.

its for the garden.

(suddenly MMTs head is filled with all sorts of double-entendres regarding grass cutting). XH took the ride-on.

sorry if I offend but coarse makes me laugh. cold shower first methinks hehe!

x

[Wisedupwoman]

Running with a hangover? No wonder he fancies you MMT!!!!!!

Agree with Annie - you could start by being friendly and take get your womanly needs met another way for a while - until he's out of his own stuff.
If you're still a bit prickly (understandably IMHO) around men it's wise to go carefully for a while.

Lucky girl!

[Wisedupwoman]

Thanks, Minesa, something to cheer me up and get me back on the right road again.

[Wisedupwoman]

Well.......for the first time since he left I woke up this morning and had (think for a bit) about 10 seconds until my first thought which was about him.

That's good. Feeling stronger. Highs aren't so unrealistic, lows aren't so low. Still hanker after the "I've made a terrible mistake" scenario but only for the opportunity to say no.

Am seeing mate this avo for wine and chats on the beach probably. Nice.

[mumthetaxi]

WWW take each little first and know that each one means that you are making steady progress. Its such early days still and from the sounds of it you are doing bloody brilliantly. Much better than I did those first few months.

I still have ups and downs but try to go with the flow of them. Little things just trigger them off. But when you realise that your highs outweigh your lows, you may just have come through the worst in one piece. I've just about got there... before you know it you will too.

enjoy the beach! x

[AnyFucker]

Hope you are having/have had a good day, WUW

[mumthetaxi]

AF - really got to get my abbreviations under control. Sorry everyone. I am MTT not MMT and WUW is not WWW.

I've been doing phonics lesson plans all day, its addled my brains I fear. (everyone shrinks away from MTT hoping that this particular mad woman isnt working in THEIR school as she is clearly damaged academically and emotionally!)

love your name btw x

[AnyFucker]

[totallylost]

OMG I'm sure I have spotted both those exes parading around Chapelfield