OK, new beginnings, new thread, it WAS right to serve divorce papers!

[Wisedupwoman]

I asked the question - Am I right to serve the divorce papers on my chameleon-like but definitely cheating, lying, cruel and manipulative STBXH. You all said "YES". So I have. The story continues.........

Still have a soft spot for you Annie

M25 to M1 is fairly straight forward. But when you get on the M1 beware you will come across a lot of lanes. Its okay, take it stady and concentrate and you will be fine.
But if you get lost it will be fine. I always get lost doing the 15 miles to guide camp (last time ended up on the wrong road and had to approach from the north), but we always get there eventually.

Congratulations and good luck!

Congratulations on getting through last night successfully.

Its great to hear that you are out there doing something for yourself.

The driving? I can fully understand your reluctance but you will feel really good (although tired) when you have done it. I drive up and down the country and have to make myself do it sometimes. But once you get going, you'll enjoy it and wonder what worried you about it. I quite like the feeling of freedom and being the one who decideds how often to stop... rather than the "one stop in 400 miles is more than enough" school of thought I am married to. .

As for the M25, you'll be fine. Most times I've been on it recently, we hardly got over 40 miles an hour!!!!

Wisey, you are such a tart. In a good way, obviously.

Hello all, love your name McNaughty.

I have spent the day in pure, unadulterated, domestic sluttedness.

Am now thinking it's time to move my arse off the chair and go sit somewhere else prepare for the working week.

5 more days to go at work then that's it for me until my new job starts, hurrah!

Yay for domestic sluttedness! Glad the gig went well! Hope you have a good week.

Minesag&t, my sat nav did that too, repeatedly, argh. And got tangled up in the wire to keep it charging (they eat batteries).

The M1 is at least well signposted, with big signs to THE NORTH (Hurray)

So glad that the gig went well. Hope you've got your eye on another one now you're back behind the mic.

As for me coming between you and Annie I absolutely refuse to be cast as a ... no I can't say it ... I can't ... an ... an ... one of THOSE ... an OW. Don't do that to me purleeasse.

B&A I could never compete with Jon Bon Jovi, papier mache or otherwise. I completely understand.

I wonder if you'd mind making me a similar Liam Neeson?

You're on your last week in your current job? Thats quite a watershed for you in lots of ways.

Did you say that you have some time off between jobs? Excellent. You should definitely celebrate getting to this stage and make sure you include us too. What a world away from worrying about what he was going to throw at you next...

Congratulations on your gig. Hope you are going to do some more of those and next we'll be seeing you on Jools Holland. That would give us all an excuse for a drop dead gorgeous outfit and unsuitable shoes.

Good evening McNaughty

I said goodbye to two families today. Have started clearing my books and journals from the shelves, my desk drawers out of all the accumulated crap. We do lunch on Weds, me and the team. Then I see my lovely supervisor for our last session together. She has been with me for almost 10 years and especially so in the last few months, a real rock to lean on at the drop of a hat.

I had therapy today. Therapist thinks I won't need any more after the settlement is done, we're just working on my noticing when I get into those torturous thoughts that drive me mad. So I'm not fucked up, just been fucked over!

Then I'm off for 3 whole weeks, lovely. A time to take stock, do nice things, (aka shopping and pampering) and have time to myself while DD is away before my perilous trip up t'north. I'll miss her. Having her here to take care of and keep me busy has been a life saver at times.

A time to pause and try to keep focussed on what will be, not what was, is how my holiday will go. It's still there, only much duller, the hurt. But I feel like I'm moving forward slowly, I sense that it shows because DD asked me not to bring a bloke along to pick her up from her summer school. There is no bloke, not even one on the horizon, yet she must be getting something off me that tells her I'm different now. I even think that the reason she doesn't want to be with her D too much is not so much in case he talks about OW or me, but more now because she just wants him there for her, and unfortunately she doesn't feel like he's available in that way .

Of course you'll all be there to help me celebrate this next adventure, you're part of who I am today, fuck, you helped me get here!

Wisey there is a sense of calm in your post which is lovely to read. A sort of moving forward mixed with a sense of sadness about what has happened.

I know that it doesn?t mean that there is a lot of day to day stuff still to get through, but you are on your own path now. To quote a cliché, you chose LIFE! You didn?t go running after him, you didn?t fall for his promise of school fees for your DD, you didn?t take his calls or read his emails, you set the CSA on him (how very dare you!), you didn?t bow to his emotional blackmail or his sob stories. Whatever corner he peeked round, you were there sticking two fingers up at him. He has learnt that for all those months he lied and messed you around emotionally there is a payback. I never quite understand the kind of people who treat others like shit then complain when some of that shit comes back and hits them in the face. Do they not realise that people react to the way they have been treated? And they should expect that to be tenfold when they dump on those who have loved them the most. The price they pay is that they lose that unconditional love forever.

Without doubt for me, the saddest posts you have made Wisey have been those detailing the hurt your DD feels. If PTM ever begins to understand that, it will be a miracle. He might even appear human.

Three weeks off! Woo hoo! Another bloke ? yes, in time, and he?ll come along when you are least expecting it.

Hi Wisey, glad to hear things are moving along nicely for you. Hello every one else.

I'm sure many if not all mothers on here will understand that having our children around and filling our time with doing things for them helps us get through life easier. It was certainly the case for me.

Now is the time for your next step Wisey and you will be able to move on to that step when your DD is away and you are able to spend the time on you and the things you want to do for yourself.

I would start thinking now about what I wanted to do in this time and then you can plan it out while you are on your own.

All the best to everyone, whatever stage you are at. I wish you all well. xx

How weird Wisey ... I finish my current job on Friday, then have 3 weeks off, in which I plan to take stock, have a good clearout mentally and physically...and like you am focussing now on the future, and what simply "is" rather than what "was". Perhaps we can do this together?

Saffy I'd love to.

Wisey,

You are amazing - a real insperation to us following behind in our own journeys.

Enjoy your time off between jobs xxx
annie

and you enjoy your new home annie, it's the start of something much better

Your post McNaughty is so on the money. The calm is there and it comes from accepting that it's normal to feel sad and still be able to enjoy life at the same time. That's what mourning is about at some stage isn't it, sadness and moving on at the same time? I'm so pleased I've acted the way I have, I have no regrets at all. There really was nothing else I could have done to save my marriage, and I'm glad I stopped when I did.

I had a lovely lunch out with my team today. They gave me a beautiful pendant (I am known for these things!) and then asked me to say something after my manager had said some lovely things. Apparently there's a bigger present at the office, too big to carry to the restaurant - it's Liam, I just know it .

Cue choked up throat and leaky eyes. Barely managed a "great team....thanks all......".

Then supervision. Supervisor commented how she'd remembered a conversation a few months back where even though she knew this not to be the case but I had really believed that I was going to lose DD, and today it's such a different story. She said she thought it so important that I'd put a definite line under my marriage so save it getting 'ragged around the edges' and that PTM's brain probably resembles a tin of spaghetti now.

So there's not much else to do there now except get through the next two days, then shopping and packing for DD's trip and looking forward to a break.

So many changes........

Hi Wisey- So great of you to get through such emotional times with a clear head. It shows that you have made so much progress and that you are not so fragile anymore....you seem to be dealing with these two events in a "normally" emotional way, if you know what I mean. You're an inspiration...

Hi Wisey,

I am off on holiday tomorrow and I can see that this thread may well fill before I am back again.

Just in case you don't start another or I have trouble finding it....

Just want to say that it has been a genuine privalege to have been along with you for the ride in the past months. I wish you well in your new job, with DD's studies and with stuffing PTM's crappy trousers up his own arse finance plans. The girl done good!!

and

Hey Migrating, thank you so much. Not sure what comes next myself.

I don't want to say goodbye. I've said too many recently. Actually your post has made me cry, it's ok though, it's been coming.

Just huge (((((((hugs))))))) to you and have a fab holiday. Have on me.

Wow, what a finish to your current job and goodbye to/from colleagues that's how to do things right!

Hope your time off is relaxing, enjoy. Good times ahead.

You too saffy - well-deserved break followed by promotions, you should both be v proud.

Have a good holiday migrating coconuts!