it might bring up some conflicting emotions for you to deal with.
Yes it has, of course.
A really bittersweet experience, seeing him across the table, trying to keep myself safe whilst listening to him talk about his rootlessness, his complete loss of control over the people who once adored him, and yes, I believe, grief at losing his relationship with his DS's. He brought this on himself and us, and I do feel some pity for how badly it has affected him. And then I catch myself and remember that he isn't to be trusted still.
So there won't be any agreements made until sol has gone over things with a fine toothed comb. I have to say though, the idea that he is prepared to commit to paying all the mortgage until it's paid off, and giving me all the equity without any caveats is an attractive one. My sol may well tell me to 'take the money and run', especially if PTM packs his public sector job in soon - the pension wouldn't be worth it for me then.
Now I know how it feels to be holding all the cards I realise it's not a particularly pleasurable feeling actually, not for me any way, it's not my usual way of conducting myself. I've had to cut out my sense of his humanity to do it, and I do have a conscience about that.
And so at some stage I know that I'll hold out an olive branch. Not now, not for a while, but I will. It'll be an invitation to 'come to my home and see DD for a bit, have a coffee or a beer before you go back to your home' kind of thing. And I won't need to go out, I'll just be around, doing my thing. And I'll be ok with it.
As the mediator said to me before I walked out of the room yesterday, "What you have just done takes alot of guts".