OK, new beginnings, new thread, it WAS right to serve divorce papers!

[Wisedupwoman]

I asked the question - Am I right to serve the divorce papers on my chameleon-like but definitely cheating, lying, cruel and manipulative STBXH. You all said "YES". So I have. The story continues.........

OH and Saff, another song to add to the list

'I can see clearly now, the rain has gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way.......!

Saff, does it matter whether they're already co-habiting or planning to then?

I was thinking that although he hasn't had to start up a new home (surprise) he'll plead 'two-family poverty'.

Dunno, just completing the E form, and it asks about whether you are planning to live with another partner within 6 months. You've done your form I presume? I put yes, I'm planning on living with Jon Bon Jovi.

And there's another song for you (or PTM actually)....Living on a Prayer

Arf at you Saff.

I haven't got mine started yet, until we know whether PTM makes it to mediation. It's mega long though ain't it?

Yeah, it's huuuge. But once you get started you'll be ok, surprised you haven't done yours yet; both parties have to complete one apparently. You'll need 12 months bank statements for all accounts, mortgage statement with details of outstanding amount owed on. So if you haven't got these, then get onto the bank/building society and order copies. I've completed mine, but am still waiting for copies of bank statements (I know I should have kept them, but can't find them all). Also, you need P60 for last year, and last three payslips. And pension details.

You also have to put current market value of property on as well, and SHL told me to get two valuations done, and get them to confirm the valuations in writing. Said to get realistic quick sale prices.

Oh I need to go lie down just reading that. I'm drowning in a sea of papers as it is !

Any road up, the Cit gave me a mega head ache too. S'that normal doc?

Yes, headache is normal. So is a queasy tummy and dry mouth. Make sure you drink lots of water. It can dehydrate a bit. If you still feel rough tomorrow take half a tablet for two days, then go onto 20mg, it won't make much difference in the long run, takes a couple of weeks to kick in anyway. (I'll be round to do your bed bath soon, just need to pop out for a fag with the dishy new F2) x

Ah, the dry mouth. Lovely. Good job i'm not about to take a Jeremy Kyle lie detector test:

So Wisey we asked you, since PTM went westwards, have you passionately kissed OM?

Er, no, actually my tongue is like a piece of carpet. Thanks for that, Big Pharma.

Shit, fuck, shit.

I'll be back later. I so want to stop feeling like this.

Aw honey, take care and post when you can.

Please also bear in mind that the ADs can make you feel worse before you feel better too...will keep checking to see if you're ok.

Hang on in there Wisey.

The road ahead is so much better. For now, just get through today. x

Hello. Thanks all. Will take the AD's before bed so the worst of the side effects take place when I (finally) sleep.

got through the day. Spoke to RL friend who is very cross indeed that PTM's voice still resonates in my head and advised that I tell DD to tell her D that if he wants to know anything about me at all he should just ask me and not keep interrogating her. I like that idea because I agree with friend who thinks it's abusive and is holding me back - it intrudes into my recovery.

I'll speak with her when she gets home, she is due to see her D again next week after the first mediation is supposed to take place. I know what you say Saff about going to mediation alone. Yet I think if I don't face this man he could forever hold a power in my head which simply isn't there, iyswim.

Oh that doesn't mean I'd break the no contact, oh no, not on your nelly. It just breaks his being able to contact me indirectly is what I mean.

Of course Wisey, he should ask you direct, and it shows his true character that he'd stoop so slow as to go through DD. She shouldn't be in the that position, no child should. Your RL friend is right. But if daughter tells him to contact you if he has any questions, and he does (which I doubt), then make sure you refer him back to solicitor, or keep it very brief and business like. It might do you good to do this - you'll get over that horrible "talking to him for the first time" thing. I never really had this, because ex was round within a couple of days of going to see the kids. But I do avoid being around at pick up/drop off times, and ignore his texts. This is for my own well being. Take care, glad you've got RL support.

No he won't make contact with me because despite his whingeing about it, he's a coward. But that's fine by me, as long as he keeps his agenda with D about seeing her and enjoying their time together.

Thanks Saff.

Hi Wisey, just swung by to say hi and have a Fab Friday. I'll be thinking of you and don't forget what you said about chins and tits .

Hello Ladies. Hang in there. As for the paperwork, make a list and tick off a bit at a time. Don't get overwhelmed. You will get it done.

B&C you too.

Nome will do.

Slept better, feel more human today. Actually, feel alot more human.

Had my first dream about PTM last night - he was trying to get in the house through the windows and I was shutting them on his hands. DD asked to see him this weekend because she wants to go to a concert (him- taxi driver and payer) but he's too busy. For the first time I didn't feel a rush of anything, just "oh well".......

That's what I 've been aiming for. I'm going to make the most of what I hope will be a good few days after some shit ones.

See you later .

Morning earlybird! Or should I say night night - haven't been to bed yet, just having brekkie after an 8 hr shift. Glad you slept better, it really does make such a difference.

If you're anything like me, then I kind of recognise the good days and am grateful for them and make the best of them, but accept that they'll pass and then I'll have a rough few days (although not really rough, just a bit wobbly). I try to detach from them and tell myself what I tell you and people have told me - they'll pass, just ride it all out.

I like your dream, especially about slamming the window on his hands. I had a great dream the other night when Lycra man was shouting at me for not putting the top back on a bottle of Lilt (yeah, I know) so I shot him. It ended up like a scene from Pulp Fiction. I was disappointed to wake up and realise it hadn't really happened!

Catch you later - enjoy your day. X

Arf Arf at so I shot him - said in true Tarantino style as well!

Am loving the revenge dreams! Wish it would really happen like that sometimes. What is it about being wronged that makes a normally sane and gentle person want to go and punch someone's lights out. RIGHT NOW!!

In my familly's experience, revenge tends to come when you are least expecting it, and often in small ways. But its damn satisfying when it does.

Cake? There's cake? In the oven?

I get Sains to bake mine, they do a brill job whereas I don't.

Revenge. I bumped into the DW of a poker buddy today. She said "I thought it was you, you look really fab, make sure when you see him next week you take the bastard's eyes out by looking drop-dead lovely". Living well, that seems to be the best revenge. [hwink]