Hi Wisey - two things that have made me as mad as your early morning posts sounded. The first when STBXH left a link on the family computer, which DD found, and she then kept that to herself for two weeks, before telling me. He hadn't even mentioned it to me - so that I could help her. That was the final straw that broke the camel's back, and motivated me into throwing him out.
The second thing - when 10 days later, he drove other DD round his new place, "to meet the lovely family, in the lovely house with the lovely dog". I honestly could have throttled him.
Like you, I thought HOW DARE HE treat her like this. But they do, because they are so self absorbed and living in their own little fantasy bubble. And I know in my case, the prat does not see the new him reflected in his girls' eyes, he sees the old him reflected there, the adoring daddy who could do no wrong, in his little girls' eyes. Prat honestly thinks that my daughters care about his happiness - so he thought that DD really would be pleased to see him "with the lovely family". That is how out of touch, and up his own backside, and living in la la land he is.
The thing that will ground him, is the solicitor (mine, and hopefully his) and the divorce process. They can no longer lie to themselves about this. They've justified going, by blaming it all on us, they think they can do better. But in the cold light of day, these stupid men will be treated like thousands of others by the legal profession and the courts. And reality will hit them like a ton of bricks - not to mention the huge dent in their wallets.
This is why, I'm sure, yours has avoided mediation, and mine has faffed around "too busy" to get a solicitor. It means that their little bubbles are bursting.
Bring it on.
Stay strong - your daughter, and mine will be fine - they have us!
XX