Morning Wisey
You're absolutely right.
Remember what a said a few weeks ago, that someone said watching Lycra Man was like watching a car crash in slo mo? Absolutely applies here. It is like a well worn script, it is sad, but all you can do is keep out of the way, protect DD (and you're doing a great job there) and let him crash and burn.
Lycra Man sends me texts now, it was my birthday last week, and I got one wishing me a happy birthday early in the morning; I ignored it. I ignore all his texts unless they are directly to do with the kids. After more than two months, he still doesn't really grasp my "no contact" rule. I'm not playing the correct role in his little fantasy film, which he stars in as the leading man.
This, I know, is pissing him off. He's digging around the kids, trying to find info out, "what did mum do on her birthday?" sort of stuff. They tell him the minimum (the two that talk to him at all). DD said, "ask her", and he said I had snubbed him by not responding to his text. So there he is, all hurt and wounded because the wife of 22 years, who had brought up his family single-handed, cooked, cleaned and stroked his ego for him, decided that she didn't need his birthday wishes. He still has no real concept of what he's done - but it's dripping through that thick skull of his -slowly but surely. Because he's a high-flyer, a top business man, he really thinks that he'll have a matey solicitor who will nod and sympathise with his plight.
That will be his wake-up call. Like you, no one in the world, can look at the evidence of his "unreasonable behaviour" which my SHL has put in the divorce petition, and look at him and feel pity, empathy or respect. And that, more than anything will be his wake-up call. Hurt the wifey and kids, hurt her friends and family - fine. Look at a contemporary in the eye and get the respect he feels is his god-given right - not a snowball's chance in hell.
Regarding practical stuff - if you are really worried that he may stop paying the mortgage, contact the lender and ask if you can pay just the interest if this happens. If you keep them in the loop, they are usually very keen to help.
What he's doing has been done by a thousand men before, he's showing his true colours - but at the moment he's like a little kid spitting his dummy out because no one wants to play his silly game.
Ignore, Ignore and ignore some more. Contact solicitor, say mediation is pointless, get it to court, and sit back and let solicitor earn his money.
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