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Original poster

Found out OW got pregnant and had an abortion!

128 replies

toomanyeasterbunnies · 24/05/2011 15:10

Not sure if I am in shock or if it just isn't a big deal after dealing with the feelings of the affair. But I've just found out that OW was pregnant (apparently she wasn't sure if it was H's or not) and then she had an abortion. My H is convinced he told me that she was pregnant but he definitely didn't tell me this and at the time said that there could have been a possibility of her being pregnant and that if she was she wouldn't have known whose it was. He certainly made no mention of an abortion. After initially getting the shakes and slamming the phone down on him I have been surprisingly calm about it all.

Should this revelation make me more angry? I'm not sure if I am just bottling it up until he gets home. Should this be making a difference? It's not like she is still pregnant but I think I am still upset by it. I don't know what to make of my own reaction to this news. Confused

OP posts:
dittany · 24/05/2011 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EttiKetti · 24/05/2011 15:26

It would make a difference to me in that the OW was clearly having unprotected sex with more than one man - this has huge implications - hope you have both been completely screened.....

Original poster
toomanyeasterbunnies · 24/05/2011 15:28

dittany I think you are right maybe it's the lying aspect that is upsetting me more.

Still with him as I want to keep my family together and I still love him (although that sounds pathetic!). Starting to question this though.

OP posts:
ShoutyHamster · 24/05/2011 15:29

Yes, do question it. Lots and lots, in fact.

Original poster
toomanyeasterbunnies · 24/05/2011 15:30

ettiketti he admitted a couple of weeks ago about unprotected sex which is why he mentioned there was a possibility of her being pregnant. Yes we've been screened.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 24/05/2011 15:32

His putting my health at risk of potentially fatal STI's by having unprotected sex with this skank would be reason enough for me to street him big time - on top of the lies and the manipulation 'I'm sure I told you she was pregnant'. Oh, yeah, just like he told you he was fucking her.

I can't honestly see why anyone would want a cretin like this in their lives.

expatinscotland · 24/05/2011 15:33

You have to be screened for some diseases more than once - like HIV and HepC. They can take a while to show up.

My aunt contracted HepC from a blood transfusion in the 70s.

It was only when she was in her 50s that it started to seriously compromise her health.

ShirleyKnot · 24/05/2011 15:38

ick. One of my Xs did this, I only found out because the cheque he paid for the abortion with bounced (well technically it was written on an old closed account) and the Private Clinic wrote to our home address to chase it up.

Shock Shock Shock

Your husband is a cunt, will not change and you will be doomed to a life of looking the other way and feeling shit. Dump the bastard.

dittany · 24/05/2011 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Renaissance227 · 24/05/2011 15:40

You have to leave that lying, cheating, no good scum bag now. I understand you still have feelings for him and want to keep your family together but how could you ever trust him again?
You let him get away with this now and he will do it again. BELIEVE ME I KNOW!!!!
You deserve better than someone who would risk your health, lie, cheat, and possibly get another woman pregnant.
GET RID NOW!

vinorosado · 24/05/2011 15:47

OP, you have every right to feel totally upset by this.
Take some time to absorb it before you confront your DH.
EXPAT; althought I do think you are always right in the things you noramlly say in your posts, (you are one of my fave posters :))HEP C is not a STD. I would be worried about chlamydia etc.

Northernlurker · 24/05/2011 15:52

Hep C can be spread by sexual contact. It is less common but not unknown.

EldonAve · 24/05/2011 15:57

seems like a drip feed of info/lies from the H
next it'll be "I thought she had an abortion but it seems she didn't"

vinorosado · 24/05/2011 15:57

I know alot about it, (HEP C) it is honestly, almost impossible to spread by sexual contact. It is through transfusions prior to the 80´s and drug use.

Northernlurker · 24/05/2011 16:02

'almost impossible' is not the same as no risk at all. Sexual transmission is one recognised route for infection, however unlikely.

Renaissance227 · 24/05/2011 16:04

I think you're losing the point here people.
We are talking about a scum bag H and not how certain diseases are transmitted!!

expatinscotland · 24/05/2011 16:06

The CDC seems to be under the impression it's possible to transmit HepC sexually. The risk is 'believed' to be low, but it's not impossible, more research is needed.

CDC

Northernlurker · 24/05/2011 16:06

Exactly and because he's a scum bag the op needs to know what she is and isn't at risk from - which was the point expat was making.

vinorosado · 24/05/2011 16:07

You are right Renaissance!

TheOriginalFAB · 24/05/2011 16:08

He had unprotected sex so you priority should be a screening for sexually transmitted diseases in a few months in case anything is missed or it isn't showing up yet.

Then see a lawyer.

expatinscotland · 24/05/2011 16:08

And yeah, he's also a known liar who had unprotected sex with another person then shagged his wife with whom he purported to be in a monogamous relationship.

Reason enough to dump, IMO. If you want to shag around, fair enough - tell your spouse, who then has the option to dump you first, and use a condom.

Renaissance227 · 24/05/2011 16:09

I understand that Northernluker but once it is established she might be at risk then we can move on and not try to compete on who has the better medical knowledge.
The discussion, as far as I am aware, was not totally focused on "what diseases could I have?". There is a bigger picture here too.

LittleBlueBoat · 24/05/2011 16:10

If you know about the affir did you not have a very long and very open discussion about what happened. In the first place you should already know this and no be told now over the phone. I would think there was a problem and thats why he is telling you.

I would be so angry about the unprotected sex as it puts you at risk and there could be a child from it.

If there was other women i would wounder if he had unprotected sex with them too.

If i couldn't get a stright answer from the man i think i would want to talk to the woman because the lies are worse than knowing what happened.

vinorosado · 24/05/2011 16:15

It is just because Hep C is incurable (more or less) I don't want to scare the OP when she has so many other things to worry about and I do believe the Hep C thing is unfounded. The other STD's are easy to sort out (barring HIV obviously) and if she has been screened she should be ok. Hep C is not considered an STD. As Renaissance says, she should now concentrate on what she wants, in my opinion, OP, you need space to think about this and how you feel.

Original poster
toomanyeasterbunnies · 24/05/2011 16:15

Littleblueboat - we've had lots of open discussions. (or so I thought were open). He actually told me via text and I called him as I couldn't believe the words I had read. As I said he was convinced he told me and that is why he mentioned it in a text message. I'm very confused. I think I may to ask him to leave so that I can have some space to think about things. :(

OP posts:
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