Anyone had an affair and not regreted it?

[kitty1]

I had fling with someone and never have regretted it. It helped me realise that my marriage was well and truly over and i couldnt go back.
By the point i had this fling my ex h and i hadnt had not been having sex because he had some issues he coudnt/wouldnt deal with.

I read some where once that when a woman emabarks on affair she has mentally packed her bags and left the relationship , when a man does it its usually because he is bored and craves excitement.

Anyone here feel the same?

im off, baby has awoken - another fun filled nite of cold food and walking the floor

SJ the fact you cannot see the irony in saying AF is picking on you, when you have been doing exactly that to WWIFN is really quite shocking.

You say you are a writer, are you a journalist trying to wind people up for a story?

QLB- same to you as I said to AF.

Right off to watch a bit of tv now.

Hmmm...interesting thread! I presume that sometimes a woman who has a crush/affair/emotional connection with someone else when they are in a long term relationship is looking outside the relationship because she realises that, on one level or another, the relationship is not meeting her emotional/physical or other needs.
Hell - I think most people could get their head around that! I think that men, rather than women, are more likely to seek a physical affair as a kind of 'thrill' (no doubt many will disagree with that). In general I do not think that a married woman with children would consider an affair as a 'thrill'. More likely, a rather sad reflection of how much is missing from the marriage.
I do think that there are posters on here who are very judgemental about any kind of deviance from the '100% perfectly happily married for ever' mantra, which is probably - a little unrealistic, really - especially when you read the threads about what an arse their partners are. Yes, of course, theoretically, these people could up and leave, but in practice they have children, houses, mortgages, hopes and dreams that they are not quite ready to give up on and all the rest of it.

Anyway - anyone had an affair and not regretted it??? To be honest, I would admire their energy...lol!

SJ...where have I called you names ?

please repost that

I am picking you up on your written posts, which speak for themselves

and FWIW, if someone feels free to call you a witch, it was in response to your personal attacks on another poster, and you need to take responsibilty for that

trying to garner sympathy now, is a bit pathetic, really, and pretty transparent to all

bully

Oy, pack it in the lot of you!

WWIFN may have a strong style which may not suit everyone, but she seems to genuinely put the OP at the centre of her focus and offers support and advice that is usually pretty much laser guided. Sure she can't know everything, and suggesting that a cheating H may not be attending therapy but could be shagging his known OW is hardly the greatest leap is it? NEWSFLASH Cheats DO lie.

When you have been through on the receiving end of an affair, you gain a different and painful perspective of what human beings can do to one another. I saw what it did to my mother. having spent 10 years with an abusive X, I put nothing past some people, men especially.

Whether the outcome of a physical affair is positive or not, a happy ending for our dear poster as it were, it's just plain WRONG to lie to others. We ALL know that, all this fluff and bluster is just justifying behaviour that is not strictly correct. OK it may be deserved, there may be really good and valid post rationalised reasons for it, but lying to someone you are supposed to be married/committed to is never right.

If you all want to sit around discussing how you shagged someone else while married, and have told yourself it was OK, that's fine. But to round on one of the most prolific posters who helps when the lives of women and men has been shattered into a million pieces by a discovery? No, not on. She has walked the walk, talked the talk and lives to fight another day. Her relationship, by her own admission, is stronger than it was, because she and her H have worked bloody hard to make it so.

Does she have qualifications? perhaps not. Is she an expert on relationships?, who knows?

She certainly knows a bloody sight more than many others here do, and she has helped countless posters just get through the day, so YES, i believe her opinion IS qualified, she DOES have a right to give the benefits of her experiences.

If anyone is looking for a pat on the back for physical infidelity, you are not going to get much of one here I'm afraid.

WWIFN might not get it right all the time, who does? But she does a lot of the time and has brought a lot of comfort and understanding to many posters in pain on the relationships board. Very, very unpleasant and undeserved attacks on her imvho.

Or what herhissyness said. Cross posted.

bloody hell Ginger! great minds eh?!

My affair happened because someone nice showed me attention and I was drunk.

er, JFTOP, that isn't how it happened at all

AF - the first time I shagged him I was plastered. Steaming. Hammered. Poleaxed.

But it was still the best sex I ever got

returning to the OP ( just ignore me if you like) there is a difference between knowing something is WRONG , and regretting it.

A close friend had a long affair , long ended , her husband did not ever find out, they are still together and pretty happy. She knows it was wrong, morally, but she does not regret it .

You can even regret things that were right!

JF do you regret it? Serious quesion

Question , even

Do I regret it? No never not for a second.

Do I think I did the wrong thing because I was married - yes.

"She has this line that affairs can happen even if your marriage is happy and has no problems hmm doesn't make much sense to me."

Read my posts on here and search for my others if you can be arsed - my marriage was happy - and yet I had affairs.

WWIFN has never stated that she was an expert in counselling or infidelity and for some posters to repeatly bleat on about her setting herself up as an expert is total bollocks. There are posters that ask her for advice because they have seen how she has been able to help other people in similar situations. Bloody hell, if I'd been on here when I had my second affair and had been told by her that I appeared to be vulnerable to infidelity, then I could have possibly avoided having the breakdown that followed the end of that affair.

If you don't like someone's opinion, or it doesn't fit the situation that you find yourself in, then ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't vilify the poster for having an opinion borne out of their own bitter experience just because they call it how they see it.

am I going to regret supporting you another live thread, JFTOP ?

bearing in mind the prevailing atmosphere on this one ?

it's up to you if you want to reveal the true background of why you got to where you did...I shan't be so arrogant as to do it for you