Anyone had an affair and not regreted it?

[kitty1]

I had fling with someone and never have regretted it. It helped me realise that my marriage was well and truly over and i couldnt go back.
By the point i had this fling my ex h and i hadnt had not been having sex because he had some issues he coudnt/wouldnt deal with.

I read some where once that when a woman emabarks on affair she has mentally packed her bags and left the relationship , when a man does it its usually because he is bored and craves excitement.

Anyone here feel the same?

SJ...who/what have I got you "confused" with ?

I am seeing your posts and drawing my own conclusion, based on them.

I would "stick up" for any decent-minded regular who was getting a pasting. I have no agenda. I don't think you can say the same.

I think a lot of you ladies on here are assassinating WWIFN, this lady has invaluable advice, and takes time to help others.

I was one lady who came close to ending it all, I have had two longterm relationships in my life, and sadly both men have cheated on me, my second relationship was as I thought perfect and he told me daily that he loved me and we had a really lovely life, but he was having an affair with a work colleague. WWIFN and AF helped me enormously, I cannot thank them enough for taking time to help me though my toughest time in my life. And whilst I agree with you that no man is worth ending your life, I was mourning the loss of everything I thought was real in my life, my present and my future. I am normally a very sane person but my H affair pushed me to my very limits of sanity. Mumsnet and the very ladies you are having a dig helped me through the worst time in my life.

So as you can tell affairs probably are very high on my list of unacceptable behaviours.

deb, I have a slice of chicken/bacon/mushroom pizza left

the presence of mushrooms means there are minus calories, I reckon

you see, what keeps me on this thread is not the content of someone else's posts across the board but what I am seeing on this thread

because anything else is a personal attack

and if I was wwifn (which I'm not, is anyone thinking I am ?) I would no longer be responding either

romney im glad you got help on mn, i have also on various other topics, whats being said here is that its not for everyone - some posters assume authority and positions they dont have, ie speculating as to what is tasteless etc - i mean WTF - seriously who has the right to say what can be discussed here.

When my first husband cheated on me it was incredibly hurtful - i felt destroyed with it - but i got through - doesnt make me an expert though.

Where has all this WWIFN-bashing come from?

No-one deserves this kind of treatment.

deburca - you wonder where WWIFN is? Maybe she doesn't have time to engage in this ridiculous thread because, contrary to what some of you think, she does have a life outside Mumsnet. Maybe she doesn't feel the need to respond to such ill-informed and personal attacks? Maybe others, like me, have pm'd their support telling her to ignore the character assassination and save her time and energy for helping people, like me, to get over the worst thing that has ever happened to them?

merrywidow
i'm off to find some food
and a hard hat!
unless i can have that last piece of pizza AF?
might be back....

I should probably name change for this but can't be arsed. Well, this thread has veered off somewhat, but in answer to the OP, yes I had an affair and no it wasn't the end of my marriage. Do I regret it? Well I regret that I cheated on my DH, because I think that was unfair to him. But in a funny sort of way, a part of me doesn't really regret it that much either, it was just a part of my journey. There were reasons for it, (not boredom), not to say that it justifies it, but there were reasons. I am with my DH several years later, and I'm very glad we've stayed together despite infidelities (on both sides).

I also think that separating motives for affairs along gender lines is a bit simplistic. I think women can be devious and predatory in their pursuit of a bit on the side just as much as men can. (I am living proof). I think some affairs are opportunism, some are due to unhappy marriages and all manner of issues. There is no simple formula.

What possible agenda could WWIFN have SJ? Infact don't bother answering that. You need to look at the content and tone of your posts before making accusations against others.

smallsteps, you should come back

too late though, I scoffed the pizza

AF- I don't know what you mean about pulling together some of WWIFN RL situation.

Stop picking on me or I shall accuse you of having an agenda, pots, kettles, blah blah. There are others saying the same as me- and my inbox is bulging with personal messages of support.

I've read the thread and WWIFN didn't say the thread shouldn't have been started. She said it was "tasteless".

It's not a question of supporting or defending. I don't think I've ever personally 'spoken' to WWIFN on here. I just don't like to see post after post of unkind comments directed at a single poster.

Disclaimer; I did not influnence or order everyone to get chinese

strawberryjelly Sun 22-May-11 18:35:03
WWIFN

I just wonder why, if your marriage is so wonderfully happy, you find the time to spend so long on MN - as well as running your educational consultancy or similar- and why you need to keep your DH's affair so fresh in your mind.

you gleaned that information from other threads

it was not shared here

out of order, IMO

I think there is sometimes a tone on MN where posters (not just one poster, different people) dish out "advice" as if it is gospel, when really it's just their reading of a situation, based on limited information that people have posted on the internet.

I often wonder if I had posted the truth of my affair, with the whole backstory of the things my ex did, how I would have been treated on here.

MW