Anyone had an affair and not regreted it?

[kitty1]

I had fling with someone and never have regretted it. It helped me realise that my marriage was well and truly over and i couldnt go back.
By the point i had this fling my ex h and i hadnt had not been having sex because he had some issues he coudnt/wouldnt deal with.

I read some where once that when a woman emabarks on affair she has mentally packed her bags and left the relationship , when a man does it its usually because he is bored and craves excitement.

Anyone here feel the same?

Personal experience is by far better than a qualification

Lets not forget this is the comment that began the secondary aspect of this thread:

"It's pretty tasteless starting a thread like this when there are live threads from posters whose lives have been wrecked by infidelity, but I think some of the observations here are naive, simplistic and self-delusional. It's absurd to divide infidelity along gender lines and the research just doesn't back it up any longer. Not all women who have affairs want to leave their marriages and not all men are just looking for some brief excitement. "

Merry - that is the best love story! I hope you enjoy long and happy times :)

Merry I would partly agree with that statement, but not totally as its very difficult to be objective about something if you have only experienced it on an emotional level.

My counselllor was very impartial - its what got me through. At the end of the day emotional and mental health are every bit as important as physical. Would you let a doctor perform a procedure on you if he hadnt actually every studied and learned that procedure - but may have had that procedure himself?

My line on this is that no one should be on any forum presenting themselves as an expert on something to which, apart from experience, they have no knowledge of. Its dangerous. Alot of people arrive onto this site as they have no where else to turn, "witchdoctor" advice can be irrepairabily damaging.

Um, but what the fuck has this thread turned into. I thought the original post was interesting and worth debate - hence my inclusion of my own story and thoughts on it, but coming back to check out where it's gone, I'm sorry but it's really degenerated.

The AIBU forum did a thread recently on 'when threads go bad' type thing - wow, this is exactly it. I honestly don't get where some posters are coming from. I know I'm relatively new to MN, but jeez. This is really personal shit flying about and I think some of it is dead unfriendly.

:-((

Deburca , I have wondered that too.

I find it a bit worrying on MN when someone posts about an affair and someone else says "WWIFN will be along in a minute - she will help" or similar.

And there is no need for anyone to defend WWIFN - she made it quite clear above that she was happy to be addressed by name .

My non-expert guess is that WWIFN has helped more posters on MN than anything else. Its a no brainer.

Indeed, I am sure that many posters start a thread hoping that she will answer them and give her views on their situation. She's pretty clear minded. Nothing wrong with that.

If anyone needs professional guidance, then they can google the respective specialism. There is an advisory at the top of this section which is clear to all. There's no smoke and mirrors.

I'm not defending her, just felt the need to stand up for the compassion and wealth of knowledge in this section of the site. And the intelligence of those posting to know they can take it or leave it... or log off.

deburca "advice from someone not qualified to give it can be very desctructive to the wrong person"

Everyone on Mn ought to fuck off then.

Incidentally, Strawberry, I'm going to pitch in and tell you that as a writer, you should know the difference between 'mute point' (WTF?) and 'moot point'

oh what a cheap jibe lost Being a writer and being able to spell perfectly are 2 different things. They have sub eds who do that

deb you are spot on.

I've said my bit; I'm here sporting a hard hat whilst waiting for me chinese takeaway to be delivered

MW, my actual head is hard, and I am scoffing pizza

AF

AF- sorry, you have got me confused. This is no personal vendetta- WTF would I want to do that?

Why are you sticking up for her so much? She has said she is happy with what people have written and is not fussed.

and I thought MN was RL

Merry im starving now you mentioned chinese and im on a diet! lol - ill have a salad sandwich instead :(