two men and not sure what to do?

[tornbetweentwo]

I know this will inflame a few people but I really am torn between two men.

I live with my long term partner and have 3 DCs, we have had our ups and downs and after the birth of our last DC things were bad. So bad that I started an affair with a long term married male friend. He is married with 2 DCs.

I have been having an affair now for the past two years. I am still living with my partner and we are currently going to counselling and things are improving but I can not give up the other man.

His wife found out 18 months ago and it all came out. My partner did not find out until 6 months ago and we talked about me leaving but decided to make a go of it and sort out our problems.

My brain tells me to end the affair but I do love this man and do think I could have a great future with him, even though his Ex is quite evil about the whole situation, but the other half of me loves my partner and our kids and wants to stay with him and he and I are more suited in terms of age etc etc. I do not want to hurt the other man either as he has given up everything for me and I will be kicking him in the balls.

I do not know what to do. I need to give up one or both of them but do not know what to do for the best.

Advice bad or otherwise appreciated

Hmmm..swop the genders and post the same 'dilemna' in Dadsnet, looking for advice about which woman to bin.

LETS JUST KICK HER IN THE FANNY

as the wife who apparently deserved all she got from a cheating twat of a husband I could slap you silly I really could.

net result of YOUR ACTIONS - YOURS ok not hers YOURS & OM's.

YOU BOTH have wrecked two homes & families, YOU have BOTH crushed his kids, YOU HAVE BOTH desroyed his wife & your husband.

good god woman have some bloody respect and a back bone to leave them alone. you don't love a man who you lie to about your OH, you don't bitch about a wronged wife who 'couldn't keep her man happy' totally selfish and materialistic, i'm astounded at your down right bare faced cheek & audacity you seem to think you should be allowed.

sorry if that upsets anyone but as being the other side of the fence. well i'm astounded.

your DP would do better taking your kids & leaving you to be with this other 'man.' - but remember this - XH went off, the girl then did the same thing to another of his married friends idiot man - so what goes around comes around remember that.

Actually, this poster seems to thrive on alot of attention. I'm wondering if perhaps she was starved of the oxygen she needs from replies, it will all just die a death

Just an idea.

is that you Pan ??

please say it's so

D'you mean me AF?

Oh, silly me, just read up ^.

Didn't even realise there is a dadsnet. wonder what sort of response they'd give?

at WUW

Pan is a nice old-time poster who bogged off a little while ago. I hope this is new Pan is he.

AF! yes, 'tis I, dahlink, with a v. modest moniker as an add-on. you fine?

rl been really busy but posting today for the barca game. Am a really old Red - remember watching the 1968 final. Fuck, I am old..

off to pub in a mo.

Well I think it's an excellent idea of Pan's.

I am well thanks

I thought it might be you and would be ok to "out" you here, since you tagged "pan" on again

old habits die hard, eh ?

enjoy yourself down the pub

btw, I predict Barca to win 2-0

thank you AF - hoping all is well round here.

Come on you Reds!!!!!

see you after the final whistle.

same as, pan, same as

same shit, different day

Wisedup the response on Dadsnet would be the same as seen here although probably harsher - only difference is it would take about three weeks before anyone posted :)

Duh . my excuse is I'm new(ish).

troll? apologies. had you not of been thou would still say the same.

Hopefully his wife WILL get what she deserves, a much more positive life without her cheating husband and his highly toxic mistress, where she rediscovers her self respect and self esteem and enjoys the company of her children.

As for what you deserve... there are no words.

Do you think you have the capacity for honesty? At all? With yourself, or anyone? If not, you will never cease to be a manipulative deceitful unpleasant liar. You sound very unwell. If you can be honest, get away from both men and your children to begin some serious work on yourself.

I don't know if you're already bored with this particular game OP, but it strikes me that it's exactly the game you are playing in RL (if this is to be believed).

Being you must be difficult - not only for those around you but for you too. I imagine life feels pretty empty and meaningless without the high excitement of the next drama, and I imagine too, that you could create one just by being alone in a room.

Seriously, striking out at anyone and everyone in any way will not compensate for the gap in your own life. At some stage you must fill it from your own resources and not continue to sap other people's energy. If they stick around long enough other people will experience you as a bottomless pit and will always wonder what your next angle is with them. So will your DC's when they are old enough to see and hear their DM's latest exploits.

You blame your parents for the way you are. Fast forward 15 years, and your own DC's telling you the same. Is that what you want for them?

can people desist from assuming mental illness.
maybe she is just a plain ole attention seeking radge. this story is v embellished im struggling with its authenticity tbh

So am I? It reads like a windup! But why would someone go to all that trouble?

good post, WUW, perceptive indeed

sm...we are all struggling with this story's authenticity...you don't have the monopoly on that

You won't get a place on the Birkbeck Creative Writing MA with this guff love.

toss a coin.