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Original poster

two men and not sure what to do?

165 replies

tornbetweentwo · 16/05/2011 21:49

I know this will inflame a few people but I really am torn between two men.

I live with my long term partner and have 3 DCs, we have had our ups and downs and after the birth of our last DC things were bad. So bad that I started an affair with a long term married male friend. He is married with 2 DCs.

I have been having an affair now for the past two years. I am still living with my partner and we are currently going to counselling and things are improving but I can not give up the other man.

His wife found out 18 months ago and it all came out. My partner did not find out until 6 months ago and we talked about me leaving but decided to make a go of it and sort out our problems.

My brain tells me to end the affair but I do love this man and do think I could have a great future with him, even though his Ex is quite evil about the whole situation, but the other half of me loves my partner and our kids and wants to stay with him and he and I are more suited in terms of age etc etc. I do not want to hurt the other man either as he has given up everything for me and I will be kicking him in the balls.

I do not know what to do. I need to give up one or both of them but do not know what to do for the best.

Advice bad or otherwise appreciated

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 19:48

christ, what a fucking cow you are

everybody hates you ?

justifiably

Cocoflower · 17/05/2011 19:50

His wife bears some responsibility, if she had kept him happy then we would not have had the need to find what his life was missing with her.

Im actually lost for words. I really hope karma isnt true or your pretty much stuffed

Mamaz0n · 17/05/2011 19:51

you are still cheating on your partner despite him giving you the chance to try again?

you are every bit as vile as you think you are being portrayed.

spidookly · 17/05/2011 20:03

Of course his family hates you, you're horrible.

Do you really think that him giving in to your utterly unreasonable, selfish demands would equal "growing a pair"?

The fact that he's still doing something to out his children's welfare ahead of your narcissism means he's got maybe .05 of a ball left.

We know for sure this is a wind up now - arf @ "potential future daughter in law" to describe the married woman who broke up her son's family.

carlywurly · 17/05/2011 20:05

This can't be true. Surely nobody could be this callous and cruel. You're still with your husband but expecting to play happy families with someone else's husband and his family to be pleased about it? You don't deserve anyone at all.

You have some serious issues, whether you're making this up or not.

Vile.

mummissinghermind · 17/05/2011 20:09

FFS grow up! Twat.

Original poster
tornbetweentwo · 17/05/2011 20:09

I really am not that horrible. I am doing everything I can to protect my DCs from any hurt and know the best way to do that is finish with OM but I do not know how to - he will be so hurt.

His wife says the only people hurt over the past 18 months have been her and the DCs, mine know nothing and I would prefer they do not get hurt. She says I live in an episode of Hollywood Sluts/Bitches and effing cows and she just wishes that her life had never been touched by me and the DCs will never have to know me, she wants off the merry go round because I am dictating everything and she has had enough but she still has a hold on OM and I can not get him to break that no matter how hard I try. My DP and I are trying really hard and things are much better but I still do not know what to do.

My Mum and Dad split up when I was eighteen and I really do feel insecure about the future and my relationships, I do not want to end up like my Mum, single in her fifties and still in love with my dad and he is still with OW. This is not all my fault - my childhood made me insecure and I think this is part of my problem

OP posts:
TheOriginalFAB · 17/05/2011 20:10

I think both men would be better off without you tbh.

You screw over your partner by fucking another man and also by expecting him to pay for everything.

You are meant to be a family Hmm which means the money you earn as well as what your partner earns should be used to fund the family.

AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 20:14

not real

TheOriginalFAB · 17/05/2011 20:16

If you are trying to work things out with your partner why are you trying to break your lover from his family Hmm?

Mamaz0n · 17/05/2011 20:18

can't believe you are trying to blame a broken relationship for your own inabilities to keep your knickers up.

do everyone concerned a favour and walk away from them all.

your poor poor children having to grow up knowing you as a female role model.

MrsPlesWearsAFez · 17/05/2011 20:18

Have my first ever Biscuit

onlyone · 17/05/2011 20:32

I sadly think this is all true, either that or this is the twilight zone : (

Lucyinthepie · 17/05/2011 20:34

I can understand why you find it difficult to leave your partner. After all, he is all but keeping you, helps with the housework, and loves you enough to want you to stay even after you've cheated on him with another man. I understand that people get themselves into some wrong situations, but to treat your partner like this is unbelievable.

Cocoflower · 17/05/2011 20:35

I dont even think you want to choose.

I think you just want keep both men and both families. And why bother choosing both men are as weak as each other.

The only fly in the ointment is the 'evil' wife.

Really you just want rid of her.

carlywurly · 17/05/2011 20:36

OP, have you considered airing all of this on Jeremy Kyle? He might be able to help you make your mind up. [helpful emoticon]

tribpot · 17/05/2011 20:37

Like I said in my first post, you need counselling. You have major responsibility issues, like your inability to take any. It's the ex-wife for not making him happy (and no doubt your DP for not fulfilling you either - damn him for not paying your mobile phone bill). It's your parents, what's next? Peer pressure?

Sort yourself out. No-one in this sorry story deserves you.

AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 20:40

have OM's ex-partner killed

that should sort it

whatatip · 17/05/2011 20:42

It's a strange wind up.

DontGoCurly · 17/05/2011 20:51

zzzzzzzzzzzz

ninah · 17/05/2011 21:04

have her killed? nah that's illegal
seduce her, get a timeshare going

ElectricSoftParade · 17/05/2011 21:05

Horrible and I don't believe you. Nasty piece of work. Biscuit

TeeBee · 17/05/2011 21:12

Anyfucker is right - this cannot be real. No one would thick enough to write all this and expect us to do anything other than shoot her down in flames. Trip trap trip trap.

Doha · 17/05/2011 21:22

Must be a troll because for once l am speechless Shock

.

Yep they hate you-- and given your posts

SO DO I

Doha · 17/05/2011 21:29

Must be a troll because for once l am speechless Shock

l love OM dearly but all his family are anti me. His mum is refusing to give me a chance and says I am poison - not nice to say to your potential daughter in law.

Yep they hate you-- and given your posts

SO DO I