My new boyfriend doesn't want to be bothered with my toddler so I have put her in to care.

[TheOriginalFAB]

He said I had to chose so I chose him. Sometimes I have her back but I get fed up after a while and send her away but if someone else shows interest in her I get her back again. When no one else wants her I can't be bothered either.

-----------

I am the toddler.

Don't really know what to say to that.

Oh FAB

That's such a sad story, I'm not sure I understand it. Were you put in care as a toddler because your mother's boyfriend didn't want you around? :(

FAB I am here and listening and sending you a million hugs girl. What is happening? Can we help? Please talk.

am i missing something here?

Hello headfairy

So sorry, fab x

Oh I rally hope no one thinks I am feeling sorry for myself. I have been thinking about posting for a few days. I thought I felt bitter and wanted to know how not too but then I wonder if I do as being with my mother would have been madness. Then I think about all the bad things that happened and yes I am bitter .

Do you ever seek some professional help to deal with this?

Is she in care?

AF I cant remember the backstory

Fight to get her back.

Or just ask?

im not sure...you are the toddler?

fab were you put into care as a child due to this kind of situation?
sounds desperately sad i think this may be a time when a massive, very out of character, unMN-ey hug is in order...

Do you have any professional support to talk this through with FAB?

Oh God, I am so sorry for being so stupid.

I was the toddler and my mother dumped me in care 30 + years ago so she could keep her boyfriend. She doesn't want to know me but has threatened legal action to get my kids. I have posted about thatt bit before.

x-posts dick...

I'm okay. Sometimes trying to keep things in hurts more and is harder than just telling someone.

Of course you're bitter. Angry and hurt too I'd expect.
Don't feel embarrassed about your feelings as they are a perfectly normal reaction to a messed up situation.

I would really encourage you to seek some counselling - people go for much, much less you know!

Have your feelings intensified since you've had your own children?

So sorry Fab . I remember you talking about your mum in the past.

Your mother wants to get your kids? How and why does she expect this to happen?

fab is talking about what her own mother did to her, from the perspective of the toddler that experienced it

I have got full blown depression since having my children and I just can not understand how my mother could abandon me.

My dd is having physical problems at the moment and it is killing me that I can't help her. My mother just dumped me. Once she told the social worker after I had visited that she only had to hit me the once.

Your mother let you down. That's a huge and terrible thing and you should get some professional support to work through that if you haven't before.

That is only a little part though of who you are. Her choices are not yours and do not have to continue to dictate your life. When you were a toddler you had no choices, no way to get help. Now you do. I guess what I'm saying is be sad about what she did. You should be sad and you should remember that pain but don't let it dominate your life. Don't let it be all you are.

Fab - thinking of you

Plumm - we had to get a solicitor involved as she was sending letters saying she was entitled to access. She got all the info about my new baby from my MIL and my 2 other children from my Grandmother.

I feel stupid for starting this now. I am okay. having it in my head seemed to make it this huge thing. I thought if I told someone it would see less big.