The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spring Into Summer.

[Mouseface]

Hello

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

This is a quest full of Babes, all fighting to remain sober, cut down or are somewhere in between right now.

You ticket to travel is free, it won't expire, and the Bus will always be here, even if there are days when you are not. So come say hi.

I'm Mouse. I have a thing for cheese and vodka, not together, well, not always!

Here is a LINK to the last thread, where you can read all of the previous threads and the journeys so far.

Still going really well although he is sometimes a bit too intense talking about how he/we feel etc. Went camping recently which was fun. How are you

Hello everyone!

Sorry haven't been around much this week. Things ok here; had a too much to drink on Wednesday, but on the basis of non-drinking versus drinking days, still doing a million times better than before I got on the Bus, so thank you (again!)

Golly have been thinking of you and DD. I hope you're both getting some help and support.

Isinde hope you and (crawling!) DTs are now safely vomit free.

BB I hate social occasions, I am hopeless at small talk and mingling and chit-chat and all that. When I was a student and then working, I got drunk without fail when faced with anything like that. Since I had my DCs and moved in different circles, I've largely not drank at all in public (, but I could count on one hand the number of times I've been out) then come home and got pissed ). Some good ideas above; also is it worth looking into relaxation techniques so that you can talk yourself down? If you're always there with your DH, try to get him (if possible) to help with the introductions so you don't have that hideous thing of standing alone with a rictus smile...

Ma and anyone else with exam-ing teens; hope it's going well.

Waves and apologies to everyone else I've ignored

x

Hi zany, good to see you around again.

BB I know what you mean about drinking to over come shyness when meeting new people. I'm Ok with friends and family, and bizzarrely OK with total strangers - talking to people at the bus stop etc, which I guess is because I will never see them again, and I don't need to make a good impression on them, or need them to like me. It's the group inbetween that I find myself difficult with: people I don't know, but who are in a group that I might meet again or who I worry about judging me. I find it particularly hard if they already know each other (or if I 'perceive' that they know each other) because then I start by feeling left out.

What I have gradually found as I have been sober is:

• people that I thought knew each other, didn't - or at least not very well
• most people are so worried about what I am thinking about them, that they're not making many judgements about me
• I'm a good listener (and I bet you are too BB) so people actually like talking to me

-there is usually someone in the room who is more socially inept than I am (and now there are actually people in the room who have had more to drink than I have as well!!) -it's easier if I have a specific role -and I still have to be in the right 'mood' to be able to do it

Venus What a great post. I too am fine with friends and with total strangers but social situations - I too have to be in the right mood, and also the bit about 'having a role' -YES! Bizarrely - and I would not recommend this to anyone in new sobriety - including myself - that going round with teh bottle topping people up, or with nibbles, is really, really helpful. One tip I was once told about how to cope is to ask people loads about themselves - most people will talk and talk on that subject.

where is THAT dratted mouse?

isindie I thought 'pervious' years might have been something to do with sexual proclivities, couldn't work out where the taxman came in though!

afternoon maties!!

JWN, I know I can hardly believe it myself - all I had to do to get where I am today was stop drinking! I know that sounds daft, but up until this attempt, deep down I never really thought that was an option, now I know it is and it's opened up a whole new life for me!!

I'm off out for the day tomorrow for a music festival, something in previous years that would have been an excuse for all day drinking - not this time!!

I'm actually looking forward to doing it sober, I'll be able to remember all the bands, I wont have to use festival loos every half hour and I wont wake up with a hangover!!!

Got a lot done in the garden, it's really starting to look good now, I'm so pleased with it!! anyway lots more to do in the house so I'll scoot off now, catch you all later :) xxxx

Afternoon all,

I've given myself the afternoon off , I was at college this morning, and handed in some work early, so, on the way back I stopped at the charity shop, and bought some very lightweight books, which will be bliss to read. Although the one I've just started "Kiss Heaven Goodbye" by Tasmina Perry is 2 inches thick, and weighs a ton (imperial measures) .

Lovely to hear everyone sounding so positive, and full of helpful advice about social situations. I try not to, but I do the most shaming thing with people I don't know, in that I "morph" into the person I think they would find most acceptable , I'm still not quite there in the self esteem stakes!!!

JWN How is your new venture coming along?

qo how fab, a music festival, and it shouldn't rain (remembers days of Glastonbury, in wellies and sea's of mud!)

Speak later, pink coloured book calling
xxx

Thurso I do exactly the same thing but never found the words to explain it properly, the downfall of being a people pleaser

afternoon! - i agree, where is the squeaky one?

QO - i am totally with you on this one!, i had NO IDEA i could 'do it' without the booze, i had becomed so intrenched in a drinking lifestyle i couldnt fathom how people did without it - when i think about it i could almost mourn for the wasted time and wasted living i did, i suppose i have to admit that not all my previous life was a waste, afterall, i still had my family and my home and job, i just could have done it so much better iyswim?

, music festivals, its funny but they were one place i would always stay fairly sober at - i dont like feeling out of control within large crowds - i think it harks back to my much younger days when i partyed with some fairly hardcore outlaw bikers, i enjoyed it alot (i was a bit of a wild child! , hard to believe eh? ) i knew enough to keep my wits about me!

well, today i have been to lakeland and got the things i need for sunday - ive got caterers doing the main buffet but i thought i wuld do a cupcake tower, bit naff i know but they look very pretty and dd will love it - , just read this post - an alcoholic reformed biker chick now into cupcake baking - pick the bones out of that mr advertising placement man!

Thanks for all the helpful advice, I think the best bet is a long chat with DH and then probably some compromises, so that I dion't have to go every do that he wants to attend and he decides which ones he really wants me to go to. I don't mind dinners so much as the person next to you is pretty much obliged to talk to you but I hate 'mingling' parties as he always goes off and leaves me and worst of all are discos since you can't hear what anyone is saying anyway...
Sorry to be an old misery.

I have spotted a Mouse in another -thread- house, so we mebbe don't have worry too much, but we are missing you

meant thread of course

Evening All
Just checking in, all good here.

All dolled up for a night out. Off to AA meeting, and then my friend and I are hitting the pub. Cheap night out! Soda water and lime for me, and blackcurrant and soda for my friend.

Mother and sister both pulled faces at the prospect, but I am not going to avoid the pub for the rest of my life. Really looking forward to it tbh, Going to a nice upmarket wine bar, with soft music and low lighting.

Wish me luck!!

bafana have a lovely evening!

I've been to Tescos and stocked up on fizzy water and expensive cordials

Had such a good day at work today and am looking forward to an early night and a happy, sober weekend.

What's the most telling thing about your drinking? I got so embarassed about the vast mumber of bottles in my recycle box I would drive to the tip every week and get rid of them there so the neighbours didn't see

Hey Babes

Sorry for causing any worry, really feel twatish about that! I'm just words on a screen after all

Life is getting in the way here, I'm drowning a bit if I'm honest. Lots of stuff needs sorting for Nemo, his nurse is really worried about me and I fear that unless I can get some kind of respite for him/us, I'll crack and soon.

There is too much to explain really and you all have your own demons to deal with, your own worries but I think about you all the time, hoping you are all okay!

Thank you to those who PMd me, you are all so very lovely.

BB - you are a doll, thank you for letting everyone know I'm okay. Mwah xx

I guess if I'm honest, after the reaction I got from Golly I felt a bit hurt (stupid, I know ) so stayed away from The Bus. I thought why should I bother if all I get is a slap in the face so to speak. And then I grew up!

Anyway, real life is smothering me right now. I'm here, lurking and watching you all on your journey. I just can't offer any support right now and actually, feel like I need your help TBH.

I'm drinking every night, more than I was, it's become my crutch over the past few days and if I'm going to lay myself bare, I like it. I like the fuzzy edges that it creates right now, so I can sleep and switch off, even for an hour.

I can't do this, I can't hold it all together. I can't pretend that I'm okay because I'm not. I'm exhausted. I need to sleep. I need to rest. It NEVER happens.

I'm at the doctors tomorrow morning with my beautiful Nemo, we've been summonsed. I have no idea why but basically, I plan to ask for help, I plan to beg him to help me so that I can just sleep.

It doesn't help that DH is on a stag weekend for 2 days, and that Nemo is puking again due to his reflux. DD is a Godsend, I need her help so much but she shopuld be out, playing, having fun and growing. Not caring for me or her brother

I. Am. So. Tired.

Aw mouse I had a bad feeling that you were keeping away because you were drinking. God knows, no-one here is going to criticise you for that. I so wish I could wrap you up in a blanket and look after you. You are always so great for all of us. You really should lay it bare with the doc tomorrow, I really hope you get some help.
Take very good care of yourself and don't feel you have to join in with the thread all the time, but maybe a tiny squeak from time to time so we know you are with us?
XX

Thank you BB. I promise I'll be around, just maybe not able to give as much xxxx

mouse Sorry, but why the fuck is DH on a two day bender when you are slowly dying?
I know i shouldn't judge other people's DH's - God knows I have enough shit with my own - but you need help.
Please beg, on your knees if you have to, for respite care for Nemo so that you and DD can get a break. does DD go to Young Carers? Do you have that where you are? oh, mouse please do the drill and try and get some sleep. How can I help?

Oh mouse
I wish I could make it better. I hope tomorrow goes OK and you get the help you need. Sleep deprivation is crazy-making. Thinking of you.

Ma - Because he deserves a break too. From work, the house, the building, the shit that he goes through each day, the early mornings, the money worries.....

I do the children as such and he does the rest. It's just the way it is and normally, it works.

He needs a blow out and it only ever happens once a year at most. I promise you Ma, he helps me so very much. We share the load right down the middle and I will get Sunday off.

It's a 24/7 job but when you're over tired it makes it all so much the harder.

We did think about Young Carers for DD but apparently, she doesn't 'do' enough to qualify, just like Nemo isn't 'disabled' enough to 'deserve' respite

Don't get me started on that shit.

Ma - please don't worry, that's why I posted because you guys were/are worried. I just need to sleep. I'd sell my soul for sleep and I'll get some Sunday. If not tomorrow when DH is back, late on.

Ma - I heart you xxx

oh mouse I'm sorry, Dh sounds wonderful and of course needs a break too. We often forget our DH's are human too don't we, and need a break.
Go to bed wee mousie and try to get some sleep. i heart you so much - you have been a life saver to me and i will never forget what you did for me.
Listen to Ellie singing "the Face". We are all here for you.

silver drive softly. the rest of you guys - keep the noise down - mouse needs to sleep

I'm off to try and settle Nemo - he is trying to pretend he needs no sleep.

Haaaaa. He will learn.

Night night Babes xxxx