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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Three months gone after break up

129 replies

forestfly · 26/09/2003 13:49

First of all for everybody that knows my story i want to say thankyou for all the help i recieved. I honestly think that mumsnet helped me get through a very difficult time.I put the support i got from here as one of the positive things to come out of the situation. For any of you going through a break up or a bad situation use this, it helps so much. At some points i was full of despair not knowing which way to turn i was guided out of the darkness by the smallest of comments everything everybody wrote helped in some way. Thanks again and i will never forget you all xxxxxxxxx

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mieow · 26/09/2003 13:53

oooo I thought you were pregnant....... 3 months gone and all that

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WSM · 26/09/2003 13:56

I hope this doesn't mean you're leaving us forest ??? "I will never forget you all" sounds horribly final

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forestfly · 26/09/2003 13:57

Sorry mieow, its quite dull if thats what you were expecting! (but thank god its not true )

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forestfly · 26/09/2003 13:59

Oh i just realised WSM i sound like im sitting here with a bottle of poison !

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WSM · 26/09/2003 13:59

PHEW

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sykes · 26/09/2003 14:21

Are you still off e-mail? Glad to hear you're feeling okay (??) Any news/developments?

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forestfly · 26/09/2003 14:30

Hi Sykes yep off email, ill get in touch when its back on. How are you? Just keep getting let down with visits and money, hes only seen them three times. Supposed to be making it up to us and coming this weekend, but not rang. Ive just sent him a text saying Goodbye and good luck, im drawing a line, we are not being let down by you anymore enjoy your life! Maybe a bit drastic but hes still effecting my life and moods. Im ok though still want him back sometimes. Miss the company too, wish i could get out more like tonight for instance! Hope your progressing all i know is that i feel better than i did, which is all you can hope for really!

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sykes · 26/09/2003 14:45

I'm thinking of changing my name to roller coaster up and down and down and up, if you what I mean? Good week this week, despite first b'day in 13 years without h. Meeting Bugsy on Saturday to suck lemons.

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M2T · 26/09/2003 14:51

Lovely message FF. Mumsnet has helped me lots too with my PND. Good ole Mumsnet!

Hi Sykes.... I bet you and FF will end up good mates after all this. And will be much happier in the long run without those prats in yer life!

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sykes · 26/09/2003 15:05

FF is from my home town, although don't "know" her. Next time I go back we have hopes to meet up and swap stories over bottles and bottles and bottles of wine. Seems we have that in common as well as crap partners ..... Pass the lemons.

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jasper · 26/09/2003 23:19

When you're given lemons....make lemonade

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forestfly · 26/09/2003 23:27
Grin
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forestfly · 28/09/2003 23:00

Just found out after his father ringing up for the first time since we split up that he doesnt love me at all, and hes met someone else. Feel sick

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doormat · 29/09/2003 08:25

forestfly, so sorry to hear this.
go and cry it all out love,scream, rant rave, thump the pillows etc and get the anger and hurt out of your system.Then pick yourself up and dust yourself down and always remember that you are BETTER than him and you was not put on this planet to be treated like this.
You deserve better.
Keep ya chin up girl.
ps can you receive email

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Janstar · 29/09/2003 09:16

Forestfly, I raised my two daughters for five years without any financial help from their dad. They were 4 and 1 when we split. He used to let them down with promises to visit too. Eventually we settled down into a reasonable contact arrangement but he never contributed financially, and after 5 years I met my dh and he is their dad now. I know you know my story about what happened eventually with their dad because you were kind enough to post advice to me.

You can bring up kids without their dad, it is hard work but it stops you from being beholden to anyone, and gives you enormous pride. I managed to get by without going on benefits either - I worked day and night in the beginning but eventually I ended up with a good business and huge house which I liquidated when dh and I married.

My advice would be, take opportunities to be independent if you have them, take all offers of help without compunction, hold your head up high, and do not settle for another relationship unless you are treated with respect and affection.

Just getting this far will have strengthened you enormously. Keep the faith - you are a strong women and without you, this world wouldn't turn.

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fio2 · 29/09/2003 09:37

Forestfly I really hope things will get better for you soon, you have got so much on your plate at the moment I am so sorry the prat isnt making the effort with the kids - I really dont understand some men, honest I dont. Sorry this message isnt very helpful and Janstar advice is very good. I just want to give you a hug((((()))))

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sykes · 29/09/2003 09:56

I'm SO sorry, FF. You must feel awful. If there's ANYTHING I can do. I do empathise because of my h and his partner. It hurts like hell. How are you - can anyone come round to be with you/take the strain of the children?

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WSM · 29/09/2003 10:02

Oh forest, I'm so sorry. It must be incredibly difficult to hear that. Turn it around and see the 'silver lining' to this, now you have 'closure' (for want of a less Oprah word), you know now that you will never have a successful relationship with this man so take this as your 'tool' to mourn it and move on. You are out of that awful 'limbo', use it to your advantage.

Keep smiling

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whymummy · 29/09/2003 11:40

lots of hugs from me forestfly{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

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Cam · 29/09/2003 15:47

forestfly, you know what he's like because anyone half-decent wouldn't have let you hear it from his dad. Don't feel sick, feel superior.

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forestfly · 29/09/2003 16:21

Thanks everybody for your lovely words, they have made me cry! Life stinks sometimes, do still feel sick, and cant stop thinking about him. Just about had enough now, when will this stop! I really want to be with someone else now too. Doormat, have email just cant access it at the moment.

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sunchowder · 29/09/2003 16:36

Hugs from me to Forestfly!! I know it is such an awful timebelieve me I have been there myself, when I was married for the first time, my husband's girlfriend called me herself to ask me where I thought my husband was every Sundaynot to minimize your situation, but gracious knows how we get through it all. Do all that you can to keep internet access so taht we can support your from afar. Love FF

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forestfly · 29/09/2003 17:58

My sister has just told me shes started using mumsnet, who is she?!!!!!

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fio2 · 29/09/2003 18:00

it's MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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forestfly · 29/09/2003 18:06

Fio2 you lie !

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