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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Three months gone after break up

129 replies

forestfly · 26/09/2003 13:49

First of all for everybody that knows my story i want to say thankyou for all the help i recieved. I honestly think that mumsnet helped me get through a very difficult time.I put the support i got from here as one of the positive things to come out of the situation. For any of you going through a break up or a bad situation use this, it helps so much. At some points i was full of despair not knowing which way to turn i was guided out of the darkness by the smallest of comments everything everybody wrote helped in some way. Thanks again and i will never forget you all xxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
Janstar · 01/10/2003 19:17

FF, it will get better, I promise. I went through all this rubbish and so did my sister. It won't last and after a while your kids will realise you are the one who has been there for them. For now it is horrible for you, but you are in the right and you will be justified in the end.

fio2 · 01/10/2003 19:38

honestly ff its no wonder you need a break. He can trip the light fantastic cant he, whereas you are looking after his kids day and night without any sight of him He does sound really immature, selfish and a big headed git - and tbh you are in the long term going to be better off without him. You are going to hurt for your kids any mother would but at least they have a good mum who is theirs for life You do deserve a life aswell, do you get any help off your family btw so you can go out or have a break?

fio2 · 01/10/2003 20:57

FF where you gone?? we are on chat now, come and join us

mammya · 01/10/2003 21:52

Forestfly, so sorry you're having to go through this, I know how you feel, been there too. Haven't heard from my x for more than 1 month now... On the one hand, means I don't get a break and dd misses her dad , on the other hand, don't have to deal with the horrible git anymore! You have all my sympathy, I know how hard it is. (((((hugs))))

sykes · 02/10/2003 09:26

FF, how are you? Last night sounds horrendous - you do need support from someone. Anything I can do to help? PLEASE let me know. Mammya, so sorry to hear of your situation. We should all form a club. Fio2, you weren't making light of the situation and even if you were nothing wrong in that sometimes.

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 09:59

Thanks sykes and mammya, what will the club be will it involve hit men. Calmed down a bit now and back to "normal" his ignorance and complaicency drives me mental!!!!!But ive really got to learn now to rise above it. He totally ripped me to pieces last night saying i was loving the sympathy and im a martyr.But after thinking about it if he turns me into a monster it justifies his actions and eases his guilt.Hes visiting tom. so hopefully i will be able to stay calm cool and collected, I HOPE

OP posts:
sykes · 02/10/2003 10:05

Killing would be the soft option .... Of course it makes him feel better and appeases his guilt if he can attribute any blame to you. Just don't let him get away with it. He is totally in the wrong and isn't even helping you financially. If he's anything like my he he'll come out with the crap (at some point) that he really cares about you and your happiness. Another load of nonsense. OF course he wants me to be happy so he can feel justified in his actions and think it was all for the best. High-minded nonsense, he only cares about my happiness (and the girls' if he's happy in the first place. Oh, sorry, ranting again. Hope today and tomorrow are better than yesterday.

sykes · 02/10/2003 10:06

Haven't a clue where that face came from. Sorry.

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 10:14

Funny about what they do to make you happy, p has gone out of his way to make me happy?!! Are they wired up wrong? Hope youve not been having a bad week, im going out tom. night so looking forward to getting dressed up and not being a mum for an evening. Hope we all have a fantastic week, positive thinking!

OP posts:
sykes · 02/10/2003 10:19

Have a great evening. Memories of a misspent youth. What's that awful club in Hazel Grove? The Bamboo? Have you ever been? When I used to drink pernod and black (...) or snakebites (even worse, ie a silly student) everyone used to pile in there saying how awful it was but The Hacienda was too far to go to that night and let's have a laugh at The Bamboo. Actually, we did have a laugh on occasions. From what I can remember ... Have a great time tomorrow.

Twinkie · 02/10/2003 10:23

Message withdrawn

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 10:28

Thanks Twinkie thats a lovely message, lots of lipstick, new top, and female anthems before i leave ( Im a Survivor.... )

OP posts:
Janstar · 02/10/2003 10:42

Go out with the attitude that you are far too good to entertain any approach by a mere man. That way you will not accept any advances unless they are from someone really special.

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 10:51

I cant be botherd with men at the moment, there are twelve women going out so they'll be scared anyway! Unless of course he was reaaly special

OP posts:
fio2 · 02/10/2003 10:52

have a nice time forestfly

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 10:53

Janh sorry i just read through this for positive inspiration, and i do live near lancaster, an hour away in manchester

OP posts:
Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 10:54

Thanks fio, you too!

OP posts:
fio2 · 02/10/2003 10:59

wish I was going out

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 11:00

You stay in and have cuddles, it will be nice,

OP posts:
fio2 · 02/10/2003 11:01

well he is always gagging for it after a week away

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 11:02

Know how he feels

OP posts:
fio2 · 02/10/2003 11:03
Grin
Janstar · 02/10/2003 11:08

FORESTFLY! There is a perfectly good fruit and veg stall down the road

Original poster
forestfly · 02/10/2003 11:09

oooops sorry, forgot about my real love

OP posts:
janh · 02/10/2003 11:10

Hi, ff! I saw Sykes mentioning Hazel Grove this morning, that's Stockport, isn't it? DH works at Bredbury. (We live near Blackburn, he has a loooong commute). Anyway I was wondering if you wanted some physical/moral support while you're going through all this? email me via mumsnet if I can help!

(Or I could come round and frighten the sh*t out of your DH, I'm quite scary when I get going and 6' tall!!! )