Divorce papers served - have I done the right thing?

[Wisedupwoman]

Had to name change again to be on safe side.
Been posting on other thread - hope followers recognise this.

H gone five weeks ago after second affair in 4 years was discovered by me but not before he gave many, many clues and slip-shod attempts to keep it 'secret' from me. H wanted out and would have known my reaction to finding out hence i think he took this way to force my hand. Heartbroken as long, long relationship with both adult and teenage DC's involved.

Today the divorce papers went to court to be served. The therapist I'm seeing commented that this has been quite quick. This has set up train of thought which goes 'was this my fault, am I assuming too much here about what H really wants, is he such a monster........'

Need ongoing support about this please......

I was up at 5.20 this morning too (after not getting to sleep until after 2.30 ) - I resolutely avoided the laptop and got some jobs done before going to work! I'd have much rather been here :)

There's no doubting that it hurts that someone you have spent 20 years with can be so hurtful and indifferent to the hurt he is causing you :( The thing you do have to remember is that it wasn't all a lie, you did still have the good times and one day you will be able to think about those times with a smile :) Honest.

I hope you have had a better day today.

x

Hey girls .

Guess what?

Had text from PTM - "phone the bank and confirm you want your name off the joint account".
I did.

My name is off the joint account!!!!

I rattled him!!!!!!!!! He's in a corner!!!!!!! My name's off and HE has to pay the overdraft HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus, the things a girl's gotta do to get a cheap thrill these days. I hope the rest of his day stinks too.

Disgracelands - very funny, I agree .
I'm just about to phone sol for appointment. He better get his arse into gear soon or I may have to bin him off too!

Well done Wisey..he's rattled all right, now give that sol a wake-up call. Very pleased for you!

Wey Hey!! Brilliant news!

Awwwwww..... just read back another of his latest emails about the huge leccy bill (which he's also got to pay!) and he says:

On a further note I have just had my bill account debited by X for almost £600 for the period since you asked me to leave...a house i am "not allowed" to return to -

since you asked me to leave poor old purple trouser man. maybe he better borrow some of bridget jones's big pants to hold in the shit he must really need to have right now

Oh, he's good at being a victim isn't he!! Poor, poor him!!!

Well done about the bank account...great news

It's also possible to just be a self-centred git yes that's more like it Annie I think i'm all but done giving him credit.

Just found a drawer full of his clothes I missed when his stuff went in to a zillion bin bags. Oh well, I've still got loads of them left. And now he's got purple trousers AND ARMY BOOTS, his old stuff just won't cut it any more .

Army Boots!!!!!

Is he channelling Sgt Bilko?

I hope he got the boots cheap, after he had to pay off such a big electricity bill and overdraft.

We will politely gloss over the fact that the bills were run up while he was living there, so some might say it was fair enough for him to pay them off. He isn't paying for anything he hasn't had.

Exactly, only to add to his bad fashion sense he's also obviously lost some brain cells since he started knobbing 'ugly-as-fuck' posh bint.

He'll also have forgotten that I paid for him to qualify in the first place, I paid for most of our wedding, I had the lovely flat for him to move his stuff into and I didn't "ask him" to leave - I fucking well told him to!!

Also found some very expensive organic mens moisturiser belonging to PTM. DS is now slathering it on in the way that only young men can - if a little is good then more must be better

Tha banking and the bill successes are worth celebrating. Yay!

Even more so because you felt so low last night. Perhaps its when we come out of the depths of those kind of moments, ticking the boxes of the One Step Ahead of the Bastard list is an even sweeter feeling.

Boy is his cage rattled. not allowed to return to the house? Too bloddy right!

And this is only the beginning of his journey. I wonder at which point he'll have a lightbulb moment and realise the majority of his recent decisions in life have been complete pants. Shame.

or even bloody

This sounds so much like my STBXH that it's uncanny! He stopped shopping in Next and M&S and started ordering designer stuff off Ebay - that a man 10 years younger than him would look over the hill in. For his birthday in February, my daughters got him a load of body shop for men stuff - creams and lotions that years ago he would have scoffed at - because they said he was so self absorbed. He was THRILLED with them! Then he started going out in too tight tee-shirts and stuff, and I used to cringe...one day he picked daughter up from a friend's house in lycra running shorts....she said she wanted the floor to open up there and then and swallow her - she felt so embarrassed on his behalf - yet he thought he looked SO cool! Ha, ha, ha, ha......What a prat.

Arf again at Alldownhill.

I do feel one step ahead again, and that fear of him contacting me has evaporated - I think the confirmation of his depravity actually have tipped me over a precipice.

I've even checked my emails to see if he has tried to do more of the same, and I'm actually a bit disappointed that he hasn't!

They're such fun to pull apart now, and take the piss out of. In my book that is a Very Good Thing.

And I've got the presentation well under way.

Lycra is not a good look for any man who isn't actually in the middle of a 100m sprint. And not even for all of them.

LYCRA running shorts? NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

It must be the done thing of the dumped man because I notice my ex has taken to wearing clothes far too young for his years too. Wouldn't be so bad I suppose if he had the figure or even the face for them but he hasn't, so he just looks a prat!

Racking my brains to think of something worse than that from PTM - although purple trews are bad enough, but I don't think I can Saffysmum.

Must try harder.......

Well i just thank heavens I don't have the nightmare of inwardly groaning every time we went anywhere as he looked like he'd got dressed in the dark with his eyes shut and one hand tied behind his back - yes, really.

he must have been trying to wind me up - surely!

Give him time. Purple trews and marching boots are the beginning of the slippery slope. Note that even Saffysmum's STBX took a while to work up to the ultimate horror.

What if he turns up for mediation wearing said PT's?

I imagine he looks like he's got two enormous varicose veins hanging from his bum.

Wonder if he is modelling himself on anyone in particular?

snappydesign.wordpress.com/2010/03/24/austin-powers-4-in-the-works/

LOL!

Yes, Lycra shorts cannot be beaten, can they? Especially if they are teamed with a tight Ralph Lauren vest and Nike air thingys....unfortunately, the Linford Christie "lunch box" was lacking .... more like a matchbox!