Hi, new poster here, have lurked for a while and could really do with some impartial advice. After a really rocky two year relationship we have come to a crunch point whether to really commit or to call it quits.
My partner is separated from his wife but not divorced, he insists that she will never consent to divorce so it is another two years minimum (they were separated 3 months when we got together). He has 3 children with her from 18 - 10. I have never met his children nor do they know I exist and from what I understand aside from when he first moved out there has been no conversation with the children about why their parents have split up nor any clarity about the future.
His wife knows about me but doesn't want my name mentioned around her and also pretends I don't exist. He has made it clear to me for the past two years that she would like to reconcile. We don't live together, he lives in a flat round the corner from the family home.
I am in my early 30's and he is in his early 40's and I have been clear frm the start of the relationship that I would like a long term committed relationship and ideally to have a child, he has said all along that he isn't sure either way so it's not a no or a yes.
By his own admission he was a pretty poor husband a father, he has a job that means he flies long haul every week and is really only around weekends. Since he and his wife split he is really trying to be a good father and is really improving his relationship with his children. I absolutely support him in that and never mind when he has to drop our plans because of something to do with the children.
Basically the current situation has become untenable due to lack of time and trying to keep all the facets of his life entirely separate.
So, finally, he is suggesting we move in together and says he will tell his children about me, get more involved in my life etc and that we should decide whether to make a proper go of things. That will also mean me accepting him going on holidays with his estranged wife and their children etc as he wants to be close friends with her. I find the holiday idea particularly uncomfortable, but guess it's ok if best for the children?
I love him very much, he is so intelligent and funny and I really enjoy his company, I also find him so attractive and our sex life is great. We get on very well, but I do find I get so angry and resentful at the fact our relationship has not moved on up to this point.
So, in summary, and thanks if you have got this far, should I just give up hope now that we will actually get to a proper committed relationship or give living together a go and see what happens?