The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

back really quickly for an update before I try to sort dd out for the evening (she's back in school tomorrow)

I took JWN's advice, went up for a bath laid in it and cried my heart out, then went to lie down and fell into a really deep sleep.

I was woken up by dd shaking me awake saying her auntie left an answer machine message saying dd wasnt safe to stay with me and if I didnt let someone take her she would phone the ss and mental health team. (dd heard all this through the answer machine)

I was so fuming, I ended up screaming at her down the phone, then a friend of mine turned up hammering on the door saying she wasnt going till I let her in, so I did and we spoke for half an hour.

then I phoned my sister back and spoke to her for well over an hour. The screaming match(although not ideal) roused me out of my zombie-like state and we ended up speaking properly for a long long time.

Miflaw's right, I don't know who I thought I was hiding it from everyone knows, but now it's all out in the open I feel so much better and able to think clearly(maybe not clearly but clearer) and also feel a lot lighter that I've got a lot of family issues off my chest to my sister.

I'm sacking everything off tonight, i'm totally exhasuted, going to get us something to eat and bed.

Thanks so much to everyone for seeing me through this, this thread has been like a lifeline to me, you maybe dont realise how much you've all helped me. I'll be back in the morning, and this time I'm on the bus for keeps, maybe one day I'll even be able to help others the way you've all helped me

lots of love to everyone xxx

Sleep well qo. And well done. Demons are usually smaller once you face them.

Oh qo

I'm so pleased that I didn't scare you off and that you are feeling a tad more human again.

It's hard, so hard sweets but you did the right thing, talking to RL people. You know that your sister was just beyond worried and wanted to scare you into action.

She'd never do anything to hurt you or DD but you had to listen. I'm glad you got in the bath and sobbed.

I'm glad you came back to post.

Huge hugs to you lady. xx

Great post venus

Right Babes, I'm off to sort Nemo and then watch a bit of CSI.

Be back tomorrow.

Sleep well all xxxxx

Qo!! so pleased you spoke to your sister!, mouse is right, she must be scared to death for you! - have a lovely long sleep, its a wonderful healer imo!, give the brain a rest from the turmoil of the last few days!

when you come on here in the morning, the best piece of advice i can think of is to start the day with a decision

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

type it big and bold! - it reinforces the thought and focuses it right up the front of your brain

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

dont think any further ahead, dont make yourself promises about next week or next month, we are going to do this ONE DAY A TIME!

qo really glad to hear you've had your bath and have made contact with your friend and sister. I'm sorry that your dd had to listen to that message but I suspect your sister is deeply worried and knew she had to have harsh words in order to get you to listen? Hope you get a good night's sleep and feel better tomorrow.

mouse yes it's been a month on the 20mg and it's anxiety and panic attacks rather than depression that's my problem. That's all I take though - and no you're not bombarding me, it actually feels good to be able to chat to someone who's been there too, as it were. Unfortunately I'm NW England so a fair distance from you, which is a shame as your offer to meet is so kind and I would love to meet up, if geography allowed! Thanks again for your offer of support - you're a lovely, kind mouseface

ma hope you're OK.

I've had a bath, painted my toenails, got the dc's uniform ready for tomorrow and am now sipping an Indian tonic water with ice and a slice. I would never usually drink mixers (never touched spirits) but I feel like I'm having a special treat and am enjoying topping up my glass, even though it's a bit of an odd choice!

was, you have joined the N&T crowd!, we are a very exclusive group of lovely babes who sip long cold drinks all evening and still look and feel fab the next day!

Well that's one drinking club I'm happy to be a member of! My kidneys are wondering what's going on, what with all this water flushing through them Which is a nice thought!

just checking in
things still grim but I'll survive
qo well done girl.

Really impressed with everyone's determination through what sounds like a hell of a lot of adversity on here. I too, have been in that position of being a complete zombie - I was unable to get my eldest daughter to school some days when she small, instead I'd make up some illness and use people i barely knew who had children at her school to take her...while I cracked open the first bottle of cider - it was never before 9.30am though so i thought it was ok.. I got through that phase when i met my current dh when my eldest was 8, he was shocked when he saw me drinking in the morning which equally shocked me as I thought it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do! That didn't stop the alcoholism though - I still drank from 11 am - well pubs open then don;t they so it must be ok. Then i went through a phase of 'treating' myself in the afternoons. Oh it's all too long and horrible to remember or bore you all with . Anyway, back to today - I am still hideously depressed - the librium is doing nothing as far as i can tell, the venaxx seems to be keeping me stable but I am putting on a 'face' every morning and then moping all day. The thought of drinking is floating through my head a bit these past few days. Went to four meetings over the weekend and do find support and comfort there but then it's back to real life. I am now going to go swimming, maybe...
I hope everyone has a positive day - keep it up!

Morning Babes.

Well, Nemo did another night, all night long in his own big boy's bed. He's such a little star!

Busy day today

Changeling - are you okay? You seem to be struggling at wee bit? Want to talk about it? xx

morning!

so pleased to hear about nemo!, dd loved being in her big girls bed, i was so anxious at first though, we lived in flat with really steep stairs that were too wide for a conventional gate, so i made a barrier using the square linen basket and a square tox box - this was fine except dd says she now remembers wondering why ALL houses didnt keep baskets over the entrance to the stairs!

changling - hang on in there! - you know that drinking is only going to make you feel worse!, wish i could help!

well, today im off out shopping with dm!, so if you come across a mumbling blonde trailing along behind an older blonde with 'i am right' tattooed on her forehead, give the younger blonde a sympathic smile! , she will need it!

btw, my mum hasnt really got a tattooed forehead!, afterall, people with tattoos are common and proberbly very promiscuious!

bet i havent spelt that right?

I have a tattoo I'll have you know!

Enjoy shopping, even if it is with your DM xx

ah well mouse!, if the label fits and all that! , dont worry, its just one of her barmy pronouncements!, you wouldnt believe most of them if i told you!

Thanks for your concern - I'm not very well to be honest. I left my job in Feb - a job I loved as I was being bullied by a senior member of staff -despite reporting it officially, nothing was done - in fact lots of underhand things were put into place to make me look even worse! and I was so unhappy I had no choice but to walk. Since then, although am relieved to be away from there, i am stressed, worried, anxious, all that sort of stuff about the future . It's a small and incestuous sector and I don't think I'll get a similar job in this town. I don;t know what to do to be honest. I'm full of serious resentments about this person and need to sort it out! I actually started at AA about a week after I left as I knew I had to stop drinking and that to continue would just get me in more trouble . It's just not a nice situation to be in.

On a positive note, I did go swimming and I did 30 lengths without a break!!!!!! which has boosted my serotonin somewhat.

Morning all

jwn I have TWO tattoos!! promiscuous, no - unfortunately!!!

mouse lovely news about nemo, is it making things easier for you?

ma hope you're ok?

changling things started really going downhill for me with the booze, and in all kinds of other ways too, when I lost my job at the beginning of march. so I totally understand how you feel.

well although I do feel a bit better today, I only managed the princely sum of 2 and a half hours sleep - went off at 5.00am and woke at 7.30.

I was planning to go back to bed after dd went to school but I find closing my eyes really difficult as that's when everything goes through my head - at least when I'm awake I can distract myself in other ways.

I'm so tired I feel like I'm floating, I'm going to lie on the sofa and stick a film on and hope I get a couple of hours before school finishes.

still have the blinds shut, still ignoring door and phone - only texting the two I spoke to last night - which is better. I'm sure after some proper sleep, I'll be better still.

Hope everyone is having a lovely day xx

qo - it is actually, if he's settles and stays in his own bed, I get a bit more rest and sleep. He still wakes in the night. But, now he has more room to wriggle!

You sound like a whole new person today. You are so much brighter than yesterday. It's lovely to see. Just keep going. Small steps..... One day at a time.

Changeling - JEEEEZ! 30 lengths! I can't do 30 inches!

Well done you!

Re the job...... my DH has his own recruitment company and I worked in recruitment for a few years too.

Can you say which sector or even PM me some more details? I know a lot of incestuous companies out there! I used to hate having to recruit for people who would only take candidates from one of their competitors!

Well, I'm slowly cleaning the house ready for MIL arriving. I haven't cleaned for weeks as we've had so much bloomin building work done. It's really bad actually, lots or dust!

However, today, my pain has decided to step up a few notches for me. Nice!

Has anyone heard from Obrigada btw, I know she was struggling last time she posted.

I am here Mouse, been lurking again - although did post to Qo yesterday - am on Day 2 of no alcohol and also on Day 2 of drinking 2 ltrs of water per day:)
Life is still shit but have resolved to take it ODAAT!

Sorry I missed your post sweets! Blind as a bat me!

I'm glad you are around, lurking or otherwise. I was just worried that you were really struggling and didn't want to post if you'd had a drink IYSWIM.

my mum got herself a tattoo for her 65th birthday because she wanted to! I wish I had her strength. (not for a tattoo particularly, I mean for other things)
Am now on 20mg Citalopran, doc thinks I'm depressed. No shit Sherlock!

Aftenoon!

Yay for Nemo in his big bed, with all that extra room to wriggle! Hope your pain fecks off sharpish, mouse

changeling well done with your 30 lengths, I agree that the serotonin boost is such a good feeling (I managed an hour in the gym this morning, feel great).

Hope you survive the shopping trip, JWN!

Well done obrigada on day 2 - I'm also thinking ODAAT to myself today!

ma hope the increase of meds help you - has your GP offered counselling at all? I've been a fair few times in my life but it was only when I tried again last year that it really helped me lay old demons to rest and think better of myself. Apologies if you've tried it and it's not for you.

Had a good hour in the gym today - quite surprised myself as last night's sleep was terrible and I've woken up with a spot the size of Mount Etna on my chin. Must be all that crap coming out of my pores

Any way, today I will not be drinking!

I missed qo, dammnit! Meant to say that it's lovely to hear you sound a bit more positive - hope you get some shut-eye this afternoon

bananas! They're great! I have at least two a day and they somehow stop me thinking about drink! Alos sparkly water stuff - always does the job for a bit.

God I'm shattered now! My aim is 64 lengths - at our gym that will be one mile. I did mutter about swimming the channel but that's the alcoholic impulsive mind - and as dh pointed out, we don't have enough vaseline