Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

Oh hey love - I think the house can be tidier when you work and kids are at school, cos noone's in it most of the time! After 3 hours of Saturday morning, mine looks like a bombsite!

I look forward to those saturday mornings when i get there and i can't wait :)

Someday/Sov/Goo you have my sympathy ((Hugs)). It can be hard going at times & yes I def think dc's pick up when we're under pressure & save their worst behaviour for then!! Goo am sorry but had to have a little giggle at your ds pulling out his willy in restaurant . I know it's hard but I find the more organised & calm I am the more calm & well behaved dc's are. Doesn't always work like that though & think there will always be some days when you despair. All you can do then is vent on here & put the feet up at the end of the day with a cuppa & thank god you got through the day without killing one of them . Am trying to make light of it but at the same time I do know how hard it can be & really sorry to hear you were reduced to tears Sov. Hope tomorrow will be a better day for you ((Hugs))

Well the Norm situation has come to a crashing close!! Last email was basically wishing me luck in life & telling me how wonderful I was blah, blah . Not sure what it was all about really but I do think he may have seen me on some of the online dating sites & that prompted him to email. Anyway he's firmly staying in his cave so onwards I go.

On a positive note my coffee date today went really well. I wasn't v keen on meeting this guy as he is separated but had no dc's, he's 38. Anyway he was really funny in a laid back down to earth type of way. There was no airs & graces, first salute he said he was starving & would I like to go for a slap up breakfast somewhere . After breakfast he asked me would I like to go for an icecream . Ended up in a newly opened old fashioned sweet shop where he proceeded to buy me a HUGE bag of sweets!! I was a bit nervous of the whole dc thing but it turns out he's a real family type spending lots of time with nieces & nephews but his xw wasn't able to have dc's. He seems keen anyway & asked would I like to do it again so it's taken the sting out of the Norm situation & also think there was def a spark there between us.

Starting - he sounds great and so glad it's helped with Norm. Sorry that's been dragged up again. Great that there was a spark - that's quite rare I think so excellent news. I would love to meet someone who has no kids or older kids, as I think it makes the whole thing a bit easier. Looking forward to updates!
Waves to all. Love you girls. Thanks for being there. I know I'm a fool with exbf. I can't delete him and I know I should. I'm sorry. I know it's the only way forward. Funny thing is, I would never get back with him, he caused me so much pain. I have to realise that however friendly he is, it's all for his own gain. And I would really love to meet DB. Just taking it slowly there on fb. Don't want to bombard him. Apparently he texted my friend to confirm that i was her friend. When she said yes, he said "Oh I'm really looking forward to meeting her". One day, eh?
Patience - hope your ex turned up and that you had a good day. Can't wait to meet up with all our kids x

Hugs Googs .DELETE HIM !!!Nobody new can walk through your door until u have closed the door on him ,just keep, thinking about new sex and how X is stopping that from happening LET THE FUCK GO GIRL !!!!
To anyone struggling with a tip situation ,my advice is chuck out everything that you can and seriously work with the minimum,i moved house last november and only have very few clothes and possesions left .Radical i know but it works for me ,still gets untidy but 2 hrs and its done x

Agree with Patience, I've decluttered left, right and centre and taken toys to charity shops, clothes etc and freecycled or ebayed lots too. I admit I only live with 2 kids and in a 2 bed flat but it's much much easier to keep on top of now with less stuff and feels tidier too. I just did it all gradually, so it wasn't a big job. I made £100 on ebay last month selling things!

Hey everyone

Thanks for the support, am sitting here reading and nodding away like crazy, especially to yours someday

Am feel good again today, yesterday was just a bad day but as per i will get on with it :)

Need to come up with a POA (plan of action) think i may have to go through the house and just be ruthless, get rid of stuff via freecylcle and ebay if i can be arsed just need to find someone who will take a load of crap to the dump for me

As for the kids, i'm not even sure where to start, think taking everything away and getting them to earn stuff back with good behaviour maybe the way forward, am going to start staggered bedtimes so theres no fighting when i put them up and see what else i can think of

Starting great news re coffee date, will wait for more updates and keep fingers crossed

Goog, it's a hard step to take but you cant move forward until you do, delete him hun, i dont even check X's profile anymore even though i can via a friends i'm just not interested anymore

NM was so supportive yesterday during meltdown and after DC had gone to bed he came round and gave me lots of cuddles, so happy happy happy again lol

Finally got biopsy results back all was normal thank goodness
Also heard about the fraud case and they are taking no further action, thank god!!

just a quickie before dc bathtime but if i say on here that i am going to fill a black bag with crap from upstairs while they're splashing then i HAVE to do it, right Patience?!?

am sooo glad it's a better day Sov, definately have those days where everything just seems too much to deal with.

back for a proper catch up when my monsters angels are sleeping

Goo, I'm sure you will delete exbf when the time is right ((Hugs)). With regards to coffee date man the spark was more that we got on so well, not like the fatal attraction type spark I had with xh . Anyway have decided coffee man is going to be christened Mr Plumber for as long as he remains that gives a hint to his profession . Haven't heard from him today but he closed down his profile online before our date so seems like he's genuine, time will tell.

Tea & Patience, agree 100% on the decluttering. As vets on the thread you both know I go through mad fits of decluttering the house a few times a year. Wardropes are fairly ok atm but toys badly need to be done again. No idea where they all come from

Someday, yes black bag a great idea. I find if I have the house clean & am organised I feel so much better about things & dc's are far calmer too. Saying that with the best will in the world sometimes it'll just be chaos & those are the days you've got to just survive as best you can!!

Sov, glad you are feeling better today & thinking of things to make your life a bit easier. Sounds like a good idea to split bedtimes, hope it worked for you tonight.

Mumfun, hope you are doing ok & that things have got a little better ((Hugs))

Hope everyone else is doing ok.....

Hello everyone,
Starting your coffee date sounded interesting and refreshing glad you're enjoying yourself.
Sov it can be really tough with wee ones on your own. At the minute i have a really sore back and no patience and my littlest ones are driving me bonkers. I slept last night sandwiched between them and woke up as if i had rigor mortis. I end up yelling at my 8yr old for v little which isn't fair either. My family help me out a bit which is good and x arrives this weekend so at least i'll get a break for a few days although he gets on my nerves big time when he's here. Managing 4 with so little help must be relentless at times i take my hat off to you sov. Do you ever get charity bags thru your letter box looking for stuff? That's how i get rid of stuff. i'm now really ruthless. As much as i love my boys i really want to do something myself this weekend. Like some of you were saying earlier sometimes in company you yearn for solitude, I often feel like that and can only handle about an hour or two of conversation at a time. I try and watch films and read books when kids are in bed just to keep in touch with the adult world and i go to zumba now too. Can't face the idea of a boozy night out yet so was googling tonight and found full moon walks you can do in the wicklow hills, the next one is mid june but i really fancy something like that for a change. I get so bored with myself sometimes.
Silence from x and solicitor now not sure what that means! I know he is coming this weekend but when he shows up is a mystery.
Waves to everyone.

I still wonder how i managed to remain so blind to x's glaring character flaws for such a long time. Sometimes in a dark moment i feel that he robbed me of the experience of loving and being loved and can't believe how much i blamed myself/let him blame me over our years together. Oh well will go to bed and stop being so maudlin. Hopefully the wind will stop howling tomorrow.

Maybee, I can really identify with that last post . I don't dwell on it anymore & I try to see the positives such as my 3 lovely dc's but yes was certainly robbed too & ((Hugs))

I am so sick of the howling winds too, it's giving me the creeps which is strange as I would never normally feel like this. There was a little child died last wk in a v tragic accident which was caused by the winds . Before I'd even heard about this I was feeling really strange about the winds that day & was trying to encourage dc's to stay indoors. My patio table ended up upturned & glass was shattered everywhere. I dunno it's just gloomy, am sick of it too.

Sov so great to hear that the fraud case against you has been dropped. Woop woop!

Hi all

Sorry Starting re the Norm hurt but hope Mr Plumber can help you get over it. Yes the weather is weird. LOve the sound of the date and love the sound of a spark! Was in a park yesterday and several branches fell off a tree - glad noone near.

Sov -glad NM helping and yes I need a giant declutter too. Intending to get rid a lot of stuff at school summer fair and also do a bit of ebaying of my clothes.

Maybee- yes I wonder what I will do with myself sometimes although I have a lot of interest. It is weird and good to try new things!

Goo - I totally understand when you find it hard to move on. The thing is think Starting and I have had this con before but there isnt room for someone else properly when you are still hanging on -and the energies are wrong too. BUt you have to do what you can do (())
Tea - youve done a great job on your room.

HI to everyone else. THinking of absent posters :)

In a stuck okish but not fab place. Have a heck of a lot going on. Kids very tired at end of term and looking forward to a break! Have to think about what to do with summer now -get my act together better this year.

Ok where do I start,mental high winds ,unsafe building,chimney threatening to collapse ,fireman and police let me into house after school run then we were evicted at 6pm.
Stayed overnight at Ds school friend that has just moved here.she says its just another tick in the task book of life LOL.got unfurnished accomodation tonite .going for the tea drinking text friends survival technique .

Good grief Patience that's crazy! Hope the weather settles soon and things return to normal for you and your home is safe to move back into very very soon. Hope the DC's are ok with it all and being away from home as are you x

Just stunned tbh.

2 seperate tree
/car accidents yesterday .one fatality another head injuries.we r safe.I did a quick tidy b 4 we left the flat yesterday just incase anyone got back in b4 me and thought that the chimney had fallen in after all

Yes dcs think its v exciting doing a sleep over on a school night .I don't .

Also posted a pic of my dog curled up on a chair on fb last night at friends house.posted it from my phone.so now when I text my profile pic comes onto my phone with an f on it.someone elses profile pic appears next to their texts .....why ?
Obviously i thought all my texts to this person had been posted on my wall ,completely shock nearly heart failure ,due to contents of these texts,wtf is going on ,I can't take anymore shocks .....

Starting i hope u weren't drinking hot tea when u read that last post

OOh Patience thats mental - keep safe and hope all back to normal soon (())

Sov, yes great that case was dropped

Mumfun, hope things move from being just ok to fab soon for you ((Hugs)).

Patience, really sorry to hear how badly you've been affected by the winds. It is so horrible to hear of freak accidents like that . They stopped here during the night so hope they stop in your direction too & that you can get back to normal. Hats off to you though for being so calm about it all, I think when you hear of fatalities though it puts things rapidly into perspective, saying that though it can't be easy to be out of your home ((Hugs)) On a funnier note yes glad those texts weren't in the public domain

Plumber boy was in contact last night by text & rang this morn to arrange a date for Sat night. Will be slow burner type I think (speaking of which what became of your slow burner Patience ). Meanwhile I've another guy that has been texting me for wks now so will have to see what to do about that .

Oh Patience - so sorry about your flat! Thank goodness you're ok. And thank god those texts didn't end up on fb - oh I would have also nearly had a heart attack!
Woo hoo Sov - great news about case :)
Laughing at plumber boy name Starting, cos at my school the head does sex ed (the mind boggles really) with the teenagers and she calls it "the plumbing"!!!

Goo, lol at the plumbing, mind you am hoping I may have a bit of that soon too There has to be some advantages for having one's husband f* off & leave one single after all