Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

Hi Maybee. Glad you are on a serene level. Know what you mean about running from shoddy behaviour. Wish you were still here (although so glad you are enjoying new life). We only just got to meet and then you were gone! x

I was the singer and flute player and wrote some of the songs lol

this poem came to mind earlier when i was on here, it always uplifts me.

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcot

Cheers googs i'd love to come to your summer party hope you like the poem

Oh Maybee - I bloody love it x

Googoo that was such a lovely thing to say, I was on the bus on the way into work catching up on the thread when I read your compliment, I was so takenaback, I do suffer from very low self esteem and confidence, thank you. Sorry to read that you are feeling down, hope you have a better day today. Dont let exBF manipulate you,

Hope you lovely ladies enjoy the lovely weather and weekend, I am stuck at Heathrow at work feeling very tired.

Meant to say that ex policeman with the high heel fetish has been pestering me again, I ignored all his emails, but received two on tuesday so my DS said you need to let him know you are not interested, so I emailed him and told him Im not in a good place at the moment etc etc, I then get 3 emails back that he is not going to give up that easily and when could we go out!! I am totally ignoring him again.

I just want to be happy again.

Hello ladies

I was at a hen party last night. It?s actually an all weekend thing but due to babysitting issues Friday night was all I could manage. It was nice but I think I?ve lost the art of social chit chat, I felt more comfortable sitting in the corner, people watching everyone. I knew most of them and they knew me. The girl getting married has known me a long time and was with me on the morning when I was getting ready for my wedding so it was a little odd for me reflecting back on that time and my hopes and dreams. I do feel kind of empty now. I do not want anyone else, I like being alone but I was a real romantic when I married and just wanted to live happily ever after (within reason) and raise a family. So I do not recognise me now from who I was iyswim?

Glad you reported that post Googs I?m sure mumsnet will remove it. ((hugs)) Googs it?s hard. Can you keep busy tonight to keep your mind off it? In a band? You dark horse you Ibiza sounds great. Do it do it!

How weird about Norm?s e-mail and the date being near his house. What did his e-mail say?

Mumfun sounds hard for you with your second son, health issues and not getting the job. Sending ((hugs)) your way. Enjoy the party this weekend.

Rom ? can you block his e-mails?

Well ended up an emotional wreck last night & had to reach out for some seriousl dumpling hand holding . First email from Norm threw me so much & before I knew it I was imagining us back together & living happily ever after . Second email from Norm left me a sobbing wreck on the floor as there was no mention of reconcilation but was a mention of moving on with his life . Emails were promply forwarded for dumpling analysis & consensus seems to be that perhaps Norm was testing the waters but that I might have unwittingly sent him in the wrong direction. Final email from me to Norm should flush him out & bring a bit of clarity but he hasn't responded yet .

On reflection I now think he may have been intending signing up again for online dating & spotted me on there!! Something was odd about the whole thing anyway as he emailed me from his work email & yet replied back to my email at 11.45pm (normally I know he wouldn't be checking his work email at the weekend!!). Watch this space lol.........

Mumfun, it does sound like you're going through a rough time of it but glad you are doing nice stuff for yourself. Hope the issue with ds gets sorted soon & also your medical stuff ((Hugs))

Rom, that ex policeman sounds like he's got a screw loose .

Maybee, lovely poem . Yes agree ongoing legal issues can be draining!! I'm in the same boat & have now accepted that it's going to take a long time to get everything finalised. I do the coffee dates when xh has dc's or I did one early morn when dc's were in school. If I had to pay a babysitter each time it would make it prohibitive.

Tea, I can understand why you would be feeling empty after last night. I think events like that just rake up all the sadness again ((Hugs)). I don't think you've lost to art of social chit chat but that it was more a case of you maybe feeling a bit empty/sad & therefore not being able to connect with the superficial buzz of it all.

Goo, holiday sounds like a great idea

Afternoon all

Starting, will definately be watching this space, sorry your coffee dates didnt go anywhere

Rom, it might be an idea to lodge a complaint with the police, just so it's logged this sounds like harrassment

Maybee, hope you get the legal issues sorted soon

Tea, Am sure you havent lost the art of social chit chat, you were probably just lost in your own thoughts ((hugs))

Goo, such a dark horse, definately do Ibiza, you only live once, might as well enjoy it

Mumfun, sorry re job and added stress with health and DS2, hope things start picking up for you soon

Saturday, how was your birthday?

waves to Patience, Getting, Happy, Elsie and everyone else

Have been dwelling all day and it doing my head in so am looking for a bit of advice please

Things with NM are going really well but last night during sex he said those 3 little words, twice, i was so shocked i just kissed him, ignored what he'd said and carried on, we'd both had a good drink and i have sort of put it down to a drunk, caught up in the moment sort of thing

We've only been together 3 weeks and tbh it's freaked me out a bit, i'm feeling like it's all a bit too fast, please tell me that i'm fretting over nothing and that it was just the drink talking, i dont really want to raise the subject with him

Sov I'm not terribly articulate but I would really try not to worry. You maybe feeling a little scared about it all to say the least after what you have been through. But you do not have to say it back and you can gently place some boundaries in place if needed at this early stage so things move at a better pace for you if needs be. He was probably drunk and is very fond of you - no bad thing. I'm all for telling them how you feel so perhaps stating how anxious you are in a careful way would perhaps help you, getting it all out in the open with him?

Sov - he's probably fretting over it too. He obviously has very strong feelings for you and that's lovely. Just remember you are in the first flush of everything and get to know him a lot more first before you reciprocate. I wouldn't be worried though. Just take it as a wonderful compliment but hang fire on any sober declarations x
Starting - so sorry you've been in a state about Norm. Sometimes I think the whole internet thing is just too much - as my mum says, nowadays you can find out what anyone is doing at anytime. I completely sympathise with exes getting back in touch. I'm in that hell at the moment. He's in my town tonight. I'm a nervous wreck :(

And Tea - also agree that last night's do was probably a one for mixed feelings. Funny, cos since I've been on my own I long for company but often when I'm in company I feel a huge need to be on my own. Think we're all so used to being on our own that company can be quite overwhelming at times. I know when I used to go up to exbf's village, I loved all the chit chat in the pub on a Friday night but often found myself going for a little wander on a Saturday night just to process everything. Hope that helps x

"Funny, cos since I've been on my own I long for company but often when I'm in company I feel a huge need to be on my own. Think we're all so used to being on our own that company can be quite overwhelming at times." So true that is ecactly how I feel.

Maybe a few girls can do some tunes tonight to keep your mind off things? For the newbies you post a link to a track on Youtube that you love and everyone else has a listen posts some back they like. can be fun jumping about and dancing in your living room

Starting I'm sorry to hear too about Norm stirring up those old feelings again. So tricky. So ((hugs)) your way too love x

Thanks Tea, thanks Goog, i have absolutely no intention of reciprocating drunk or sober lol
I do like him and tbh i could probably fall for him, but thats going on what i know atm, i need to get to know him a lot more before i put my heart on the line, my heads just in a spin with it all
In 3 weeks we've only not seen each other about 5 times, maybe i need to cool off a bit, have a bit of space or maybe thats just me running scared i dont know

All i know is he makes me feel good wether he's here or not and i do feel happier than i have in a very very long time, even before X left!!

My flight mode is screaming at me but i think that it is just simply i am scared, of trusting and of being hurt

oh i dont know, ignore my ramblings, thoughts in my head need a way out, am off to drowned them with alcohol lol, have a good evening with the tunes girls xx

Sov, yes agree with others that it's best to just see how things go for now.

Thanks everyone for your kinds words & ((hugs)) about the Norm situation. It's a bummer Goo isn't it when it all gets dragged up again, sending you ((Hugs)) too for tonight. I've really been thrown by the whole bloody Norm thing . Have agreed to go on another coffee date tomorrow, am fairly certain it will lead nowhere but I may aswell go ahead anyway as I've nothing better to do & dc's will be with xh!!

It's amazing how detached I've become about all this dating business, I am no longer in the least bit bothered about my hair (& obviously it's only worse it's gotten) nor my coldsore (which is still persisting!!).....not even sure I'll be able to muster up the enthuasism to dress up for tomorrow's one

I became like that about the dating thing too after exbf. I just couldn't muster any enthusiasm after all the heartbreak.
Feeling very dizzy tonight. Coming off the ADs has this effect I think

Naughty Googs, take half a tablets perhaps? You're meant to reduce the dosage slowly with the GP

Sov its ur dumpling training LOL, the more empowered u are ,the sexier u r to him,JUST HAVE FUN!!!
Yes lets do some tunes .
Ive had a manic day .Dont know why but loads of folk calling or texting me

A song -

Best of You the Foos

And another

Dave Grohl the mans a fucking genius ,he could have written that for me !!!!

(isn't it just?)