Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

Hi Field. Felt so sad reading your post. It's shit isn't it? And it is a little wall - I had many of them when exh left. Lots of love xxx
Patience - Elsie is right - you're indifferent but he isn't. Missed the Gaga - bloody love her! - mammoth phone call with my mother, who has just returned from yet another mini break. Sigh.

Hey Starting! Ooh - can't wait to hear about your date! Don't worry about your hair. Men know nothing about hair :)

Hey all of you,

just placemarking and introducing myself to you lovely ladies :)

not strictly a dumpling but i ended an abusive relationship 18 months ago and have ds 5yrs and dd aged 3. am over the initial shock but like some of you have said - there are walls!! I like the classic mantra 'this too shall pass' when picking yourself up just isn't happening.

Hope your weekends have been ok xx

Hi someday - nice to see you. Just off to bed but wanted to say welcome :)

Lovely field massive ((hugs)) your way. I still get like that and Ex and I separated in 2009. Good that nm and job are going well.

Patience hope the pringles were good and the gaga. No words for your Ex are quite sufficient

Starting - glad the date for tomorrow sounds promising. Agree with Googoo he won't notice. A good blow dry and a stunning outfit will be a hit. You're gorgeous.

Decorating still ongoing, just doing the litle things now like painting the door etc. I'll get there.

Mega tired so just a quick flyby really.

ty googoomama sleep well

Hello everyone, googs you sound like you are really going from strength to strength and that is fab.

Field you will scale that wall again in no time i'm sure, it is hard. Its been 7 months since i got the big shock about my x's affair and most of the time i'm v upbeat. A few weeks ago i got the blues and started wondering if my cheating lying x had cheated on me before. Our story spans 13 yrs although we split for 2 yrs ages ago. Occasionally i wonder what sort of fool he took me for as i never suspected infidelity until it was really obvious. I then wonder who the hell i loved - some kind of charlatan who told me what he thought i wanted to hear for all those years? Then i think of our 3 ds and how he could throw away the chance of living with them and being the best parent he could and it all leaves me cold. However the feelings pass and i try not to dwell too much. I try and focus on what i have and its actually pretty damn good.

Its my 41st birthday today. ds 1 woke me at 5.30am this am by putting a necklace that he made around my neck (lovely beads from a bead shop!) I then got lukewarm coffee and toast with jam. It was so lovely eventually the other 2ds climbed in and spilt the coffee but it was a good moment. i didn't miss my x at all. I had a lovely fortieth with him last year, v romantic and i remember thinking how it was really ok to turn 40 and how i wouldn't fancy being single at 40 (given the crop of men out there :)) Lo and behold a few months later i became single and it sure beats living with a liar.
waves to rom and patience and enjoy your date starting.

Thanks and Happy Birthday maybe

my 41st next too!

Mumfun, sorry to hear things are tough for you atm & that h is being an arse . Hope things improve for you soon.

Goo, looked at link, agree with others nice hands & feet lol but can't really make out his face. He does look v sexy though . Any idea of when date is happening? Hope you managed to catch up on the work front.

Rom, trip sounds lovely & yes no harm to let xh know you're having fun

Patience, sorry to hear xh didn't show again today, that text he sent you is just plain childish! Hope he steps up to the plate soon for dc's sake. So frustrating that he's still behaving like this after all this time!!

Field, it's all part of the journey towards recovery. You were with x for a long time & built a whole life together so it's bound to still be painful. You're bound to have crap days so just be gentle with yourself for now ((Hugs))

ET, wow haven't you been the busy lady . Agree with Mumfun, we need more details

Happy, hope you're doing ok & that things are a bit better for you atm.

Pink, hope you're keeping well & that life is being kind to you.

Tea, hope the decorating is coming along ok for you.

Happy birthday Maybee Lovely of your DS to wake you with the necklace, so sweet and the breakfast in bed.

xpost with loads

Maybee, happy birthday. Oh that sounds lovely with your dc's this morn . Felt a bit sad reading your post because as you know our stories are v similar. I wouldn't want my xh back in a fit but reading your post just reminded me of all the pain & suffering he caused, like with your xh

Speaking of which my xh is making a huge effort recently. I had a coffee with him today at garage when he was collecting dc's. I think he is beginning to realise what he threw away & from what he says I'd say he'd give anything to be able to turn back the clock.

Waves to everyone and big love to you all ,love watching the GA GA for fashion tips
Tea need to do a fb thang can you help me ,is it easy to set privacy settings very high ,just dont want anyone upsetting my life cause it has settled so much just now but would like to be able to join in.

Can anyone tell me the good bits to fb please and the bad bits ?

Glad xh is being civilised starting,
Saturdaynite i am 18 mths in myself and dcs 4 and 5
just turning a big corner now but know i could still dip ,
a good friend said to me recently it takes 2 yrs to really get through it and i think by xmas i will be truly free ,
this is a safe place though and people wont ever judge you x

thank u patience :) we are at the same place then and would love to set some smaller goals maybe to achieve by xmas?

i am ok today but i know my bad days at the mo seem to be attibuted to conact recently starting between x and dc.

my goal right now is to make sure i get up in time to take ds to school something i don't find easy at all !

No me neither.I need to iron everything ,do lunches the night before etc ,
but its hit and miss ,
try and iron when X has the kids on a Sunday but he isnt seeing them much.
I think because he was so erratic that has slowed down my recovery but I have had to learn to let go .but v difficult when its out of your control and you want them to see their dad but you worry for their emotional stability and their welfare in general .
Its not easy ,and just when you think its settled down another big twist in the road .
Big hugs to you at least we got out" someday" and that is such a gift to give our kids x

I enjoy fb, sharing pictures, statuses, seeing what my friends are up to. My privacy settings are "friends only" so no one else can see anything I do. I can help you set it up if you like?

Googoo and I are friends on there. It's really nice.

Thanks tea I will PM you x

Maybee - Belated Happy Birthday, I know what you are saying re your ex, I now wonder when H did tell the truth, when all the lies started and if he always lied to me. You start to doubt your whole time together but I suppose that comes from them trying to re writing history, and we then start to doubt our history so in a way we start to re writing our history on the proof we have, that our exs are selfish, deceitful, bas*ds! Gosh that makes me sound like a man hater and Im not, just very hurt by the man I loved and still love.

Starting have a great evening! I was speaking to my ExH, my DC's father, who left me after I found out about his affair with my DD friends Mum. He was telling me that there wasnt a day that goes by that he doesnt regret what he did and leaving us. I can only hope H one day feels the same.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Tea & Goo thanks for your kinds words & assurance on the hair front. Well just to compound things I awoke with loads of spots & a coldsore!! Have face lathered in vitamin E, lavander & teatree oil lol & coldsore is hopefully shrinking under copious amounts of zovirox (sp?). Bought Miracle hair treatment in the supermarket earlier as it was half price so hoping that does the trick

Someday, god I'm really sorry I overlooked you last night & forgot to welcome you to the thread. I agree with Patience I think it takes about 2yrs to fully heal. Setting goals is a good idea & don't beat yourself up about getting to school on time, this can still be a struggle for me lol. I had a lot of difficulties with contact too with xh & used to always find when contact started up again it triggered me emotionally for awhile. ((Hugs))

Rom, I agree about the whole rewriting of history thing. Tbh I no longer have any idea if xh was faithful at all during our relationship. It's like once I discovered infidelity I then started to question all of the relationship, like Maybee said yesterday. I do think your H will have his regrets too.

Ps tea what is a status on fb,when u say ur sharing a status ?

Have a lovely night starting,that zovirax is great eh,when you feel that tingle that's the signal,v jealous of actually going out on a date x

Bastard. Bastard. Just when exbf is back in my head and asking me to meet up and after a week of thinking messaged him to say yes I'd meet up, I find that he's cooking a meal for fucking pipe player. Why am I such a fool? Why? AAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!

Sorry. Just had to rant! Know I can do it on here :)
Yes, happy birthday Maybee! SO good to hear from you x
D'you know, I'm so much stronger now. First reaction to realising that exbf is obviously stringing me along wasn't upset, just anger because I really do feel so much better about myself now - thinking back to last November when I first "met" you girls, I was such a wreck and now I know that I'm too good for him, actually for most of the men I meet. Never, ever thought I would have any self-esteem, never. In fact, this is the first time in my life that I've had any and despite all of life's ups and downs it feels bloody good. Beauty treatements I did at home on Saturday were just for me; jeans I bought were just for me; looking nice at work is just for me. And you girls have really done this for me - made me think about what I want and who I am and also humbled me with your kindness and the fact that you have all taken time to say things to me when you are all going through crap, much more so than me. I thank you all, not for the first time and definitely not for the last time! Patience - I wish you would go on facebook and then we could chat on there. Tea is right - it's great to share photos and get to see what long distance friends are doing. I can say having seen the pics that Tea is a very, very good decorator and her room looks fab! x

Well at least u know now he is a game playing twat.
U have evidence.
Everytime i give my X a chance he just shows his true colours everytime ,
He will always do what suits HIM best not the children.

Hello all, just introducing myself...... I separated 18 months ago and finally today got awarded the house (Hurray!) Am now feeling in a much better place and had great fun handing xh a pile of his shite and asking him to take it away this afternoon LOL!!!!!!