I haven't had a chance yet to catch up on here since returning 
Sorry.
Ex H threw me a curve ball today, and try as I might to unpack it on my own. I cannot seem to. Nor can I see if I am being unreasonable. I'll give the background for those new to the thread.
Ex H?s girlfriend is 22 years old and is in her final year at Manchester University. Their relationship has been very volatile and they broke up in June last year for a short while and they?ve been on a break again for the last month or so. Her main grievance appears to be how often Ex H see?s the children at mine. However his accommodation is a room only in a house share. The house concerned doesn?t even have a lounge, as that?s been converted into a further bedroom. His room is very small and he doesn?t have the room to have the children over night. So he always comes here, as he has very little money and cannot afford to take them to soft plays etc. He also still gets highly stressed managing the 2 of them on his own and always if he takes them off to the park arrives back cross with one or both of them and with them crying. He never did cope well with the children even when we were together. I always had to take one with me if popping out, even back then. OW doesn?t have any siblings and has only worked with older children, as far as I'm aware. So she has no experience of toddlers, let alone two 17 months apart. The children also have no idea about OW, as I never told them, as they were only 2 and a quarter and 11 months when we separated. Even now DD is 3 and a half I haven?t felt it necessary to tell her as Ex H and OW do not live together and I?ve never been convinced the relationship would last, so I didn?t see the point in having that conversation with DD. Both the children are happy with the contact arrangements and are both at peace and settled. They understand we do not live together but when he is here we get on well and never argue ever. I do not fancy, nor want him back. I'm happy being single and alone.
There had been talk of Ex H and OW moving in together when she graduated but with the state of their relationship they?d agreed not to move in together when she graduated and to just move closer to each other and see how it went after she began work. She also dislikes Ex H receiving texts from me about the children. She believed on separation I?d hate Ex H and he?d only get to see the kids every other weekend. She has been pushing for him to see them less, as I understand it. When she came down to stay with him this week, it was on the proviso that they?d see if the relationship could be salvaged at all. Ex H told me not to text him or call him at all whilst she was down. As that is a trigger for her.
Now I?ve received a phone call today from Ex H, asking me if he could take the kids to Butterfly World tomorrow with OW but just introduce her as a friend. I said no. I think it is a bad idea with how stressed he can get managing them. With me not being there and a complete stranger with them as well. Well she's met them a few times a very long time ago. They won't remember her, it was before we separated.
The kids may also pick up on strange vibes or see their affection for each other and be confused as well. I just think it?s one bad idea. If their relationship settled down for good and they moved in together in appropriate accommodation to have the children over night, we?d have to slowly help the children settle into the change and mummy not being around when they stay there and the children would have to start to get to know OW. Hard as it is I?d have to do it. But this whole concept of tomorrow doesn?t sit right with me. Perhaps Ex H wants to show her how tricky the children can be and help her to get a feel for life with 2 toddlers. I have no idea but I?m feeling unhappy about it all. Am I wrong? What would you do?
Sorry for the selfish post I know I'm missing what's going on on here right now.