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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The real reason I am not pregnant yet...

166 replies

Bewunce · 28/03/2011 11:14

... is because dh and I have not had sex for years.

God. I hope this thread doesn't turn horrid. I really could do with having somewhere to talk about this. It is so stupid, and it is not something I could ever admit to anyone irl.

We had an enormous showdown and lots of councilling and agreed the following:

  1. We love each other very much and we're sorry we let our relationship get so bad.
  2. We're staying together regardless, because we like each other and adore our children and family life just works.
  3. We both really want to have a sex life again. Somehow.
  4. We both really want another baby, and the time is NOW.

So... we need to have sex. And for the past 4 or 5 months we have agreed that we will have sex. Definitely. Any minute now... just not tonight because of some terribly important reason. But tomorrow for sure. Without a doubt.

Oh dear.

We are both terrified. There are SO many complicated feelings that it is impossible to put it all in a forum post.

Basically, I am asking for some support to help me have sex with my husband.

And if the thread goes wrong I shall destroy this name change and never speak of it again. But I am feeling pretty wretched and some helpful replies would be good.

OP posts:
cabbageroses · 04/04/2011 09:39

I can't get my head round the first couple of lines of the original post and the contradictions- we have had lots of counseling- but then the OP says they can't access it any more.

OP your first post implies that you had counselling recently- no?

You make the act of sex sound like climbing Everest- not doing something that is supposed to be fun and loving!

If you look at what you have said- we really love each other, we really want another baby, we do want to stay together because it works- well I am sorry- but all of that is nonsense. Those are just words. A fantasy. What you would like- but it's not the reality you have.

it doesn't work, clearly. Not at a fundamental level.

valiumredhead · 04/04/2011 09:46

That's a really good point stubbornhubby

HattiFattner · 04/04/2011 12:52

cabbage, i think unless you have walked a mile in these particular shoes, you have no idea. It is like climbing everest. The fear of rejection. The shyness. The embarrassment. The spirit being willing but the flesh isnt. Its so much pressure to perform, it might as well be K2.

stubburnhubby, if he really didnt, wouldnt he have snuck off for the snip years ago, and now be up for it?

cabbageroses · 04/04/2011 13:04

don't assume Hattie. I have walked in those shoes. I had a relationship for 5 years with a man who was screwed up sexually. After a few episodes at sex he shut me out- on the basis of tiredness, guilt, fear of PG- you name it. I went for counselling to try to help us. Sadly we parted.

cabbageroses · 04/04/2011 13:05

And really- does a DH "sneak off" for a snip? it's a major decision to be taken jointly.

Hardly a marriage saver if you get yourself sterilised on the sly is it?

HattiFattner · 04/04/2011 13:11

cabbage, I think we are singing from the same hymn sheet.

I agree that it SHOULDNt feel like its everest, but after a couple of years, it does feel like a major exercise rather than a spontaneous fun bit of rumpy pumpy.

ANd having the snip on the sly would be a major deal breaker, but if a man is willing to forego sex for years, mighten he rather chose a snip and maintain a healthy love life? Stubborn is implying that the lack of sex is due to a fear of pregnancy. Its a lot more than that.

valiumredhead · 04/04/2011 13:16

LOL @ rumpy pumpy! Grin

Sorry, as you were Blush

cabbageroses · 04/04/2011 13:29

well I think the fear of PG here is a no-brainer. there are many methods of contraception, the snip being one of hem.

I don't think many men without issues would use fear of PG as a reason not to have sex.

And even if it was the reason here- why doesn't he admit to that? he is in danger of losing his wife anyway- whether through lack of sex or lack of another baby!

stubbornhubby · 04/04/2011 13:41

Hattifattner not exactly, not in general, but reading this thread I was struck the on the one hand, in OP's mind the ideas of wanting to having sex and wanting to get pregnant are completely and totally intertwined..

but on the other side everyone is talking about her DH as if pregnancy is completely irrelelvant to him and his problem is purely sexual.

I wonder if that's the case. If he's ambivalent about another child, that would be a big desire-killer.

Bewunce · 08/04/2011 18:23

Hello Naysayers!

Grin

Right. I have come back to update because a lot of people were very kind and supportive and took the time to help me and share personal experiences both on here and on PMs. Thank you so much.

As to the other posts... well, I suppose that you can only go on what I have told you and I guess most people mean well. But honestly, NOT HELPFUL. I say that without malice. I was asking for help on how to fix things in my marriage.

My husband is a good man. He loves me. We laugh every day. He brings me tea and the iPad in bed every morning and takes the children off for nappies and cereal before getting ready for work. He texts me nice messages through the day. He works hard at a demanding job, and then comes home and lies on the carpet building train tracks or plaiting Barbie hair. He puts up with my many short lived hobbies. He tells me dinner was delicious even when it is boiled egg and soldiers. He washes up and irons. He can fix anything. He lets me play Lady GaGa in the car. He takes the kids swimming every weekend because I am a SAHM and he recognises that I need some time away from the children. He boycots Nestle. He re-examines his views about feminism every time we talk about it. He thinks it is sweet / unremarkable that our 2yo son likes wearing a pink frilly tutu and playing dollies. He cheerfully eats a 90% vegetarian diet because I am veggie and I do the cooking. He tells me that I am gorgeous and kind and the best mum in the world. He sends his granny flowers when she sounds down and in pain on the phone.

Now, I know I didn't put any of that in the OP, but I also didn't say that he was a nasty, manipulative, duplicitous, self-serving, selfish, hood-winking arsehole.

He is human. He has a problem that he is dealing with in an entirely human way by ignorning it and hoping desparately that it will go away. This does not make him bad. It also does not make our marriage a lost cause.

I liken it to someone who genuinely does want to lose weight, but just has one more packet of crisps. He genuinely does want to fix things, but it's quite a mountain to climb tonight, so maybe tomorrow would be better. And he has finally booked a doctor appointment for this week.

Am a bit shocked by the number of people who feel that it's not worth trying to save a marriage where two small children are involved, and both parties want to sort things out. Seriously, why would you dole out that judgement to someone who is asking for support?

ANYWAY.

(I didn;t plan to write all that, it just came flooding out).

THE UPDATE!

We really are making progress!!! We have agreed to attempt sex every other night. Every time is getting better. The first night was awkward to say the least, but at least we could have a giggle at the dreadfulness of it all. The second night was a bit better. The third night had moments where we were both simultaneously actually enjoying it. Tonight I was actually looking forward to it! We are getting there. Still not all the way there but we are encouraged at the way each time is better. We are getting less self concious. It is GOOD! Still not pregnant as dh hasn;t managed to ejaculate yet but tonight he was alllllmost there. Maybe tomorrow? Hope so!

Grin
OP posts:
Bewunce · 08/04/2011 18:26

Wow that was long Blush

OP posts:
Acanthus · 08/04/2011 18:36

I've been reading but not posting. I'm so pleased to hear that. I too am astonished how many people are prepared to write off a marriage that has so much going for it, just because your sex life is in the doldrums. I don't believe many people avoid the kind of issues that you have, judging by my own experiences and by what my friends say. Things can always get better and I'm sure for you they will. Keep trying!!

kerstina · 08/04/2011 18:37

He sounds wonderful ! I can see why you would love him very much (smile)
Its also really sweet that you have wrote all his lovely qualities. I think you will both get what you want in the end. Thanks for updating us and please keep us posted.

ScaredOfCows · 08/04/2011 19:39

He sounds like a lovely man, and you sound like a lovely wife. The very best of luck to you both, and fingers crossed for a new baby when the time is right
x

springydaffs · 08/04/2011 21:42

wow, what a lovely couple you sound - absolutely gorgeous Smile

the word that kept going round in my head as I have read your thread OP is shame. Not 'what a shame' (though it is) but shame, re deep personal disgust. Shame is no respecter of persons - not even bereaved little/teenage boys - but sneaks in and takes up residence in anybody when we're not looking. Shame is also catching, big time - particularly around sex.

He sounds like such a gorgeous person that he may have problems thinking about fucking you senseless, as that may be misogynist, or disrespecting you etc etc. It's often men who respect, are in awe of, women who can't contemplate using them for sex (yes, I did say 'using'). But randy, raunchy sex is great, particularly if you love one another dearly - that's when it is the absolute best: you trust one another enough to let the animal out.

Re his mum - sorry, have to go there - people who die often end up with a saintly glow to those left behind: idolised, idealised. You sound quite perfect too - lovely, but pretty awesome with your natural wet-wipes.., as well as his mum: someone to look up to, admire and deeply respect. I know this sounds like I'm painting by numbers (virgin/whore), but a lot of men can't get past respecting women too much to fuck them, get all mixed up with fuck v making love/respect.

One last thing - work pressure can really sound the death-knell for a man's sex drive. He'll be thinking Responsibility! Provider! Good Father! Respect Women! Women are Equal! Love and Respect my Wife! He's probably given up being sexual because it's too fraught with contradictions, too lovely and considerate to be a beast?

HOpe I haven't overstepped the mark though OP. Sex is fun/funny too sometimes and it sounds like you're cranking up the love machine pretty effectively so far Wink

BestNameEver · 08/04/2011 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbwitch · 08/04/2011 23:28

Bewunce, very pleased to hear that things are progressing well! Sounds like you have the right attitude there - to just take it easy, no major expectations, and have fun.

But I would still suggest you get him to go to the GP just in case there are any underlying medical ishoos, please.

Keep going though - sounds like you've nearly cracked it between you! :)

Bewunce · 09/04/2011 18:47

:) Thanks for the nice replies. Genuinely appreciated.

Springy - I think you have hit many nails squarely on the head there. Do you have a window into my husband's head? He does find it hard to "fuck" me. He loves me and adores me, but puts me on a pedastal, very much more so since we had children. And yes, his mother was perfect in every way - not in a creepy way, just that he genuinely can't think of anything about her that was unpleasant or unkind. And again, yes to the pressure on him to be a Modern Man.

Bestname - that is exactly the sort of vibe we went for that first night. A good idea, thank you.

Thumb - He has had a very thorough medical showing him to be entirely healthy. Blood tests, scans, samples of everything etc etc etc. Does he need to mention this specifically do you think?

OP posts:
blinks · 09/04/2011 18:53

marvellous. you've come a long way in a short time and i'm right pleased you updated. in your face naysayers!

cabbageroses · 09/04/2011 19:59

bewunce- I am sorry you think some of the posts were negative.

When I read your update my heart sank. it's as if you have gone into denial by painting this rosy picture of him.

Everything you say about your DH being good, kind etc etc is undoubtedly true. BUT he/you have a problem.

I can't remember if I posted here about my ex ( not married but 5 yr relationship) who had a psychological problem with sex. HE was the kindest, most generous man I have known, practically. But he still had issues with sex which we could not resolve and I left him in the end as my bio clock was ticking....and we were not making any progress.

I wish you could see how it is still not "right" to have to attempt sex on 4 occasions and for a man to not ejaculate. Did he have an erection? Did you play with him? Why did it not reach a conclusion?

As someone else asked you- dos he have wet dreams or does he masturbate- 'cos it;'s got to come out sometime, somehow.

If you do not know the answer to this then there are serious communication problems in your marriage.

The basic questions are- is he physically impotent- can't have an erection ever- or does he not have one with you- or does it fail?

People are trying to help you- but you seem to prefer to ignore some points that are made.

Your DH has a problem. He is not owning up to it. It should not be that hard for any man/couple to get back in the saddle even after a break for any reason, if desire is there and they have NO ISSUES.

Bewunce · 09/04/2011 20:09

Cabbage, you are absolutely right.

I'll leave him first thing in the morning.

OP posts:
blinks · 09/04/2011 20:09

but it sounds like the desire to change is there, C&R. he's made a dr's appt and is making real efforts to connect physically... if the roles were reversed and it was a woman struggling to be physically intimate i think your comments might be different.

cabbageroses · 09/04/2011 20:15

Bewunce- come on ....Smile

Can you see that your reaction actually compounds the points I was making?

I am trying- really trying- to help you- having got the T shirt many years back.

I did not say leave him.

I asked questions-
you have ignored them. why? Too painful?

cabbageroses · 09/04/2011 20:16

blinks- women are not men. women do not ejacualte. yes, women need to be aroused but the mechanics of arousal are very differnt for men and women.

cabbageroses · 09/04/2011 20:27

read your reply to Thumb about going to the fr.

Look- this is pretty simple stuff- does he have a problem getting hard- or not? if he does he needs to see the dr. All kinds of stuff like diabetes and circulatory problems can be the cause.

if he does not have a medical issue then the dr will surely refer him for psycho-sexual counselling.

Or does it not exist where you live?