Dumpling no more - only the strong survive and we did No.3

[Teaandcakeplease]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support.

I agree - if the teacher was that harsh about your dd, she is not taking the whole picture into account. For a start, at parents' evening we are told to focus on their work and work goals only and not to criticise a child's behaviour too much - simply to comment on it if it is affecting the child's work. We are also well aware of those children who have been through some testing times, of whatever nature, and we take that into account. Sorry you had such a bad experience. P is right - children are only children and should not be put down. Maybe have a word with the HT at your dd's school if you are concerned and remind them that there have been a lot of changes in her little life x

Patience a friend said to me earlier did I think dds behaviour was to do with xh leaving.

The short answer is no its not shes had these tendencies forever and a day , its in her character and cant all be swept under the carpet of "Oh shes going through xy and z so thats ok for her to behave the way"

I will have to learn better how to deal with it, have been trying a while will get there eventually

Oh Getting, you are doing 2 of the 3 most stressfull things in life at the same time. Divorce and moving....bloody awful. Try and keep calm and composed, neither of these things run smoothly usually and both are a waiting game. Your DD is very willfull and will go far but at the moment she's probably taking some of her frustrations out at school. She might well need reining in a bit but maybe leave it for now. She's testing her bounderies at school, lots of kids do that but at the moment the house move is the main priority IMO and when you're all moved in you can ground her in her lovely new room for a month ! For now though you don't want the added stress of falling out with her, save that for when you've got less on your plate. Thinking of you .

I'm just remembering the dreaded parents evenings when my DC were that age, I uesd to go home and cry with despair after queing up to see teachers and being told how rude and cheeky my DC were, oh the shame. They soon stopped though. It's just showing off, she'll be so much more settled after you've all moved. Keep strong. x

No worries getting u know ur own dd.
My Ds is usually very laid back but was agressive for first 10 mths ,then completely changed when we moved house.teacher couldn't believe the change.

Oh Getting sorry to hear you've had such a crap day & have so much to deal with atm. Glad to hear xh is trying to help sort things for you at least. As for looking a mess well tbh I think that's far more real then trying to swan around looking like kate moss when you've so much other stuff to deal with atm. Anyway when you have the right raw materials like you do then you always look well

Mumfun, likewise really sorry to hear it's all coming together for you too atm & that you've so little family support . Also sorry/angry to hear xh has timed his twuntery to coincide with your pending op/interview. Hope things start to look a little brighter for you soon & that stuff with new job plan doesn't turn out to be negative like the news today suggests. ((Hugs))

Patience, so glad to see you back on thread. Agree it's heartbreaking to have dc's crying for daddy. I had the similiar anguish as you know with my xh & it really is so so bloody hard & heartbreaking ((Hugs)). Glad to hear you sounding back in form though, great to see you're fighting spirit back. Must say though that your link to lady gaga left me . I'd never seen that video before & I watched with a mixture of shock/horror/amazement/enthralled/mezmorized/captivated . It is still resonating with me & think I will have to go back & look at it all over again, I'm strangly transfixed

Rom, lovely to see you've joined us as a fully fledged Dumpling no more

Pink, now really, there is such a thing as tmi, do we really need to be hearing about baggy ball sacks . It brought mental images to my mind that instantly banished all desires for getting hot & sweaty with anyone lol.

Kate, an ipad no less!! Only joking, I am so pleased for you & as others have said after all the crap xp dished out to you, you certainly deserve it . Love the idea of xp & ow reading your twitters . Revenge is a dish best served cold springs to mind

Hope everyone else is doing ok

Starting - look up the Gaga and Beyonce video on youtube...
Bloody love her!
And as for baggy ball sacks...you don't have to look at the fireplace when you're poking the fire ladies. Always remember that :)

Goo, on fireplace analogy. Have seen the Gaga & Beyonce one & in fact I think it was Patience that linked that one too some time back

P.S. Goo loved your comments to Getting from the point of view as a teacher

Pink, reading your experiences of parent teacher meetings made me shudder as to what lies ahead for me in future years . I am still in that blissful stage of being told how wonderful dd is (11), mind you had a bit of an induction already with ds (5!!) but thankfully he's back on track again for the moment !!

Lmao at Gaga and beyonce ,I remember posting that and saying I wanted a pair of sparkly pants for my comeback shag.
The Gaga had her flip flops on last nites one startin and I'm sure ur a fan of the flip flop .

Goo sorry thanks , actually in truth think criticisms of dd were well founded wasnt actually there but...

School is great overall

ball bags ? was there ever a more ugly invention ? why did nature make the continuation of the species dependent on such a hideous item s ?

Trust you to bring this to our attention Pink

Patience, I was so distracted with everything else going on I never even noticed the flip flops

I just saw her dancing in underwear and flip flops and thought it was a good look.

Ok that's me sorted sparkly bra and knickers and flip flops .
Might just get some for doing the housework.

Patience, lol couldn't resist & just went back to have another look at it before going to bed . Have camomile tea in hand & weird gaga images on the brain now wonders what strange dreams will result . Actually think there's a lot of underlying wisdom in that video!! Will remain resonating with me lol

Aye the Gaga is an icon in our house.

Did u see the flip flops?

Shit!! I missed the flip flops again

Mind you now that I think about it I did see a bare foot at one point but kind of lost my focus when she started pulling down her knickers !!!!!!!!!!

It's the sticky birth fluids that made me stare,a bit BLAKES 7 from the 1980 s

Will have to leave it till tomorrow to re-investigate, my brain can't cope

Thanks for the support last night ladies

I am still feeling really strange and not in a good way, lots of weird dreams with xh in them last night

Mumfun sorry to hear things have taken a downward turn for you. I know your family arent great but I always get the feeling you have good friends around you..? Wrt to your xh doesnt the idea of some kind of closure after all this time appeal ? I hope your worries about job turn out to be unfounded

Starting bless you for your raw materials comment . I dont know why suddenly this past month my appearance matters to me again which I know is a good sign but unfortunately during the phase of it not mattering I have put on almost 4 stone in weight. gulp. Of course now this bothers me and its not like a haircut or something that can be rectified in an instant but I just need to be sensible and start cutting back etc and be grateful its something I can change.

Pink I agree about not coming down too hard on DD and with the hols coming up I didnt want to pile on the punishments so have said she has a month after term starts again to change her ways or I will shut down her Facebook

Goo I think I was a bit poor me about school last night maybe slate was overstating it. Trouble is I am spoilt with an angelic ds and expect the same from her but it doesnt work like that does it.

Didnt mention last night dd didnt want to go to xhs , there were tears etc. I nipped out to speak to xh waiting in the car to say shes hurt herself from a fall , is overtired etc and he said ok and then said ow wont be there tonight inferring that would be a good thing for dd iyswim. I am thinking things are still far from sorted from the dramas recently.

What to do ? So far I have stuck to my not getting involved policy but I do suspect ow is getting the cold shoulder / stroppy behaviour from dd and it wont be good for any of them. I have thought about this and suspect dd blames ow for xh leaving and cant get past this. The thing is thats not the case as long termers on here will know and whilst I have spoken about it to dd months ago I wonder if I should refresh her memory on that point ?

Its hard for me to understand the line between explaining these things and burdening her with info about my realtionship with xh while we were married and at 12 yo treating her as an adult who would benefit from an improved understanding of it all

Try as I might this morning I am feeling like I would like to board a plane to anywhere at all and disappear !

Instead I will go for a run . Later I am getting my grey hair done so that will give me a little boost hopefully.

I hope everyone has a good day and sorry to moan moan moan

Lurking but will do a catch up with everyone later.
Getting, sorry you feel down. When you reserve your flight to Dumpling Island please get me a ticket too. XP up to his usual tricks but I'm trying to kill him with kindness and be ultra polite. Starting to stick in my throat a bit though.
Great to see you back, Patience.
I'm sure saggy men can have a scrotum tuck. Think Nick Nolte had one as he couldn't sit down comfortabley when he hit middle age.
Hoping for more sunshine for everyone today.

Yuck. Still not missing sex or men.

((Hugs)) Getting, slimming world have a nice menu that seems easy to stick to and filling? I should do something like that as I seem to be increasing again weight wise Sorry about DD's parents consultation. Mine are so little still but I'd be gutted too. Hope the house is back on track soon. Lovely weather for a run today.

Love to you MF as well with everything at your end x

my kids still ask is daddy coming home if we are civil.I know they are much younger but her dad left and started or progressed a relationship with Ow and now she has to spend time with that woman.If she doesn't want to ,I think that has to be addressed.big hugs getting my2 are the same Ds rolls with everything and dd is making a written complaint due to no milk for weetabix and being offered toast instead.I just think its bloody emotional for everyone and keep talking and listening to each other .thats the only plan I have.I know elsie s Ds spoke to a third party ,is that approriate here ?

Ds just said he has a wobbly tooth,first time tooth fairy has been to our house.