The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into Spring - BOING!!

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So, this is The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

All are welcome, regardless of your background, stage of sobriety, or anything else.

I'm Mouse and have been here since June 2010, and in control of my drinking since August 2nd 2010.

You will find unconditional support here. Always.

Whatever you feel about drinking (or not), we've been in your shoes. Some more than once.

So, come say hi, come grab a seat. There is always an open door and a warm welcome on this Bus.

Maddogs fantastic so see you - aw babies are so lovely when they are round and sweet (and asleep). Well done for recognising the voice in your head - you've done fabulously well, and you know how much you can enjoy your lovely dc when you are sober.

Thanks Venus

I've posted a couple of pictures on my profile just for now, in case you want to enjoy the gorgeousness .

Oppps just re read and meant to write Isindie if you were happy to have a half bottle then this is progress. I blame tired writing

Hello everyone

I have been at work for four weeks now, have been working so hard and no time to do anything. No time to mumsnet ggrrrrooowwwwllll. O abili to mums net either - it's blocked at work!

It is going really well. I am working with nice people. A year ago, or even six months ago, I would never have believed i could have been in this position. Six months ago i thought there was no future for me or for my family. I feel so different now. Have just been approved for a mortgage and found a house. Been out for a walk and lunch with friends. My life feels transformed. And it out it all down to YOU, especially Venus. You's have all made me feel so much better, worked out my problems with me, you have saved my life.

Thank you.

Will try to catch yo with thread now but wanted to send you all my loe and thanks x x x

Sorry for typos! Bloody iPad...

There's an edinburgh meet up?

hi Cristi - looks like there is a meet up on teh cards. Waiting for dates from Thurso....

No pressure then

I blinking well hope DC2 does get invited to an offer day now....

Ma re: DD, DC2 got rejected from Durham, and was pretty gutted at the time, but in the end wherever they go, they have a brilliant time, I think. I didn't, but keep it very quiet.

One plus, if he does want to go to Edinburgh, the fees are so much lower than in England, and with DC1 graduating, as DC2 starts, we need all the help we can get!
Second thoughts, plane fares for me probably put paid to that!

How is everyone this evening, Dh putting finishing touches to very slow beef pot roast, that I've tried for the first time, doesn't look good, truthfully!

hey Thurso
University fees are terrifying. DD1 was finally offered a place at Liverpool but decided not to go to uni after all as she didn't want the debt. Currently unemployed and wasting her life away rethinking her options.
DD2 leaves school in june - another one with no idea what she's going to do with her life!
Can't see me ever getting rid of the bastards darlings.
How are things? Hope this isn't dinner by candlelight for you guys or you know what desert is going to be....
DH on a sleepover in work tonight so I'm a happy bunny

Evening All

Good day been had here, church, friend over for lunch, walk in the country side and a high tea!!

Totally stuffed and happy, about to have a nice bath and veg in front of the TV

demented my shoes are just as good as JWN's - I have a few years to catch up with her collection . That is unless my two decide that they want to go to Uni! DD has decided that she would like to do medicine, I think that it could be a very costly decision (for me).

Thurso - are you suggesting that you are stalking us, or we are stalking you - !?

Christiane I am so glad to hear that you are getting on so well at the new job, would be fantastic if you could join us for the mini meet.

JWN get your thinking cap on as to why you need to come to Edinburgh on business, but if you don't manage we will certainly be raising a coffee to the wonderful spectacular person who brought us all together in the first place.

Right - off to lounge in the bath for an hour.

Later babes

Chrisi - really pleased for you - all sounds very good. How's dh? I am guessing that there must be less pressure around generally now that you have some income again.

dementedma my dd1 went to uni for 1 term but hated it (and has been working for 4 years). She is settled, happy and has no debt. Her dp was unemployed for a whole year after graduating, even with a good science degree there were just no jobs. When dd2 returns from her travels she will be back to work in a restaurant - who knows what the future holds for her - at the moment she is inclined to go to uni, but that's mainly because she fancies the social life.

hello babes

I am sorry to crash in like this but I had a pm from notevenamousie the other day after a thread I was on about alcoholism and talk of SS. I wasn't really able to help her and now I've seen this and I'm worried about her. I guess I just wanted to post here to say to her if she is reading that I'm sorry I couldn't help her more and that it seems that she has a lot of support here on this thread. I don't know I feel I ought to do something but there's nothing to do is there.

mousie I hope you are OK.

I hope no-one minds that quick post.

BTW I wish I had known about this thread 18 months ago when I packed in drinking (with a lot of help from MIFLAW amongst others who I see here!!!) What a lovely supportive thread.

Hi sardine nice of you to post and yes we are all a bit worried about noteven

This thread is great for many of us, but like any approach it's not going to be the answer for everyone (and several who are on here are also enjoying the support of AA or other approaches too). Sadly, the nature of alcoholism and of an anonymous forum is that we don't know what is happening to people who are not in contact, and there is little we can do about it. I think that noteven was a church goer, so I pray for her God to comfort her. And I stand by on here to welcome her (and any others) back on here when / if they choose to post. I suppose I hope that is what others would do for me.

night night babes - been watching old home videos that DD1 unearthed, feel very maudlin. the DDs as little ones opening Christmas presents and singing nursery rhymes and demanding "Watch ME mummy!!!", holidays in Normandy at my friend Elisabeth's house (she now has breast cancer!) and her two boys, just litte chaps in shorts and t-shirts - Nicolas now at university in Paris and Fabien a strapping 6 footer, and my niece Beatrice a newborn with a fuzz of dark hair and watchful eyes - now at university in London!
sigh Where did the time go?
and a shot of me, looking frankly rather gorgeous and slim and young and happy.......

Morning all,

Another sunny one here.

We had a lovely weekend, amazingly.
We have been decorating the DC's room's, and got it all finished by last night.
So tired, went to bed at 9pm, and actually slept (well until 4.30) but, did doze back for some time.
DH very anxious this morning, but said that keeping so busy over the weekend helped a lot.
So, am just going to try and compose a calming, yet jolly email, for him to open when he gets in to work.

Ma Aaargh, those old videos and photos are killers, aren't they. I found packets of photos from when the DC's were young, whilst we were sorting out, and had to stop looking at them, as was blinded by tears!

Mouse I hope you had a good weekend, and not too busy, how is Nemo's chest? Hopefully as the weather gets better, so will his respiratory probs.

Bafana not talking stalking , just thought it best not to post any dates on here. Did you have a lovely bath?

Have a good day all, speak later.
Much love xxx

Ah demented the old days [wistful, nostalgic emoticon] and I know in my case, there was so much that I didn't appreciate, and so little self-confidence to accept that I WAS lovely (and slim and young....). Ah well, at least I was sober enough to enjoy yesterday, and have woken this morning able to appreciate the bright sunshine. I am off for the next 2 days to a wedding - a new start for both of them (just into their 50s), one a widow, one a refugee from a crap marriage - a time to celebrate today, and then to look forward with optimism, rather than backwards with regret.

Morning all! Happy start-of-spring! My son is actually still asleep and I've had a shower, (even plucked my eyebrows!) and everything. I can hear him stirring now...

Christi Congratulations on the job. When I was posting here regularly last year, you were still trying to find one and feeling pretty desperate. I'm so happy for you that it's going well.

Speaking of jobs, I am feeling deeply and profoundly grateful today. If I was on standard Swiss maternity leave of 14 weeks, I would be back at work TODAY . I am so lucky to be able to take 6 months off. And on Saturday I received the details of my bonus for last year and it turns out to be big enough to cover a great deal of my unpaid leave! Very unexpected and I am so thankful. Also my work has agreed I can go back 4 days a week, at least until the end of the year. Phew!!! I am so, so lucky.

I wish everyone a bouncy, booze-free week

that great maddogs!, go and have a little sniff of his warm chubby neck! one of the best sniffs in teh world!

well, now its over i can say it!, i have had a crap weekend!, not because of the company or the socalising, but i have REALLY struggled, from friday night onwards i have been resentful, angry, irrational and generally out of sorts - this is not like me, i have to keep going the bathroom and giving myself a pep-talk into the mirror BUT I STILL WANT TO GET WASTED, BLADDERED, PISSED, whatever! i havent picked up, not all through a nice meal on friday, dinner with friends saturday night or lunch with friends yesterday, i must have had a face like a slapped arse though - im just a bit fucked off with it all right now!, i shall be fine, just having you all to moan to helps, writing it down helps, i have a meeting tonight which i think may well turn into the jwn show , thank god i have it though!

oh well, enough me, me, me!

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!

HOWEVER FUCKING HARD IT IS!!

Hi Venus thank you for that post

I hope she is OK.

And now I will leave you all to it

That's tough JWN - do you think it was related to how hard you've been working recently and how tired you must be feeling? For so long we've used alcohol like a familiar comfort blanket - something we've used to help us sleep, to wrap around us when we're upset, to calm us when we're angry. Now we've had to grow up and realise that what we thought was a comfort blanket was actually harming us instead. I don't think it is surprising that I sometimes feel like a petulant child, and I JUST WANT IT BACK!

But seriously well done for getting through the weekend without giving in, and thanks for being honest on here. We are know what we're risking individually if we go back down that track - and the fact that we even consider it shows the power that alcohol has had over our minds / bodies. Think back to your first days sober when every hour without a drink was like an achievement - you managed it then, and by applying the same tactics you can manage the same again now. What helped you then? was it going to more meetings? was it getting support on here? was it your determination not to RUIN everything for your dd and dh? Was it the support of friends who were so pleased to see you accepting the problem? All of those things are still around now if you need them. They may not be so evident because it will appear to many as though you are all hunky-dory and coping well, but asking for help now is better than stepping back into the boxing ring again.

JWN you know how much your first posts captured people's attention, and you know how many people subsequently have posted on here and have at least recognised their problem. You're a star and a stalwart. You don't have to do this alone. During a weekend like that you could pm anyone on here, and they'd listen to you.

And at the end of the day, having a face 'like a slapped arse' is OK - no-one said that you had to be the queen of the happy party every single fucking minute of every day. yes it's fantastic to be sober, but life is life, we all want some time off, it's just our time off has to be without alcohol. And your slapped-arse face must be a million times better than the shit-faced pissed look (accompanied by the disappointed dh look) and followed the following morning by the self-loathing, self-recriminating look.

Go on JWN, you rock and you CAN do it.

Morning all

Quick message coz I am at work, supposedly working.

JWN, there is a little part of me that is shouting loudly "thank you - thank you - thank you"
I sometimes think that I am the only one who suddenly has these periods where my lucid sober brain seems to utterly desert me, leaving me a malcontented bitch!! I don't know why it happens and it really upsets me.

Sorry that it happened to you this weekend, and welldone for getting through it.
It is obviously part of the process, and as long as we are aware of it we can fight it.

Hi Everyone else. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Off to the hygienist this afternoon , hate that!

thanks you wonderful babes!, i KNEW you would understand the way my alkie brain works! - i do feel quite strong and fairly pleased with myself for not picking up, it was almost a phyiscal ache, a feeling that i was missing out, that everyone else was able to drink what they wanted aithout giving it another thought and that i was the only fucking boring billy no mates in the the room! i have never really felt like that before!

looking back at the weekend with a rational thought process, i cannot believe how little was actually drunk over the weekend - everyone on saturday had a few glasses of wine, then began to drift home for babysitters, quite 'compus mentis', as they all had to up for various activites (i would have been shit-faced! ), tehn yesterday, we had a nice meal, the others, 3 of them, drank a bottle and a half between them, i had juice, why do i feel so resentful?, cos i couldnt have drunk like that i suppose, i would have turned this weekend into a total booze fest, dh would have been pissed off with me and dd would have hated me just that little bit more!

venus, i think you are right about work as well, i have been going like a steam train for weeks now and im tired!, at least im sleeping properly though and not passing out!

i think the feeling is easing now, i was scared by how hard it hit though, very frightening actually, it shakes your resolve and makes you doubt the 'rightness' of being sober - im going to make the time to fit in a few aa meetings this week, i think that will help!

must do some work!

laters babes! XXXXXXXXXXXX

Bafana

Drunk people are very difficult at meetings. I know - I used to be one. As long as they don't actually throw a chair at you or put a brick through the window when they leave, You just have to put up with them and think "there but for the grace of [whatever] go I."

Sober pricks are more difficult. The best advice is to ask her if she's ever managed to bore herself, but I am aware that that's harder in real life than in one's head. In the mean time, remember that in AA, "we're all here because we're not all there" and also that NO ONE is in charge. This woman CAN'T "tell you off" or tell you you're not doing it right because she's no better or worse than you. If she doesn't like you, she can do the other thing. We in Britain are very lucky to have lots of meetings and so people are very avoidable if you can't get on - spare a thought for the drunks of Marseille (pop. 1m) who have FIVE meetings a week to choose from!

Basically, AA treats alcoholism, not being a fucking nuisance, so try to grin and bear it and wait for her to irritate someone else.

Incidentally, what did she say about your FIL and on what grounds? She might honestly believe, in her misguided way, that she is trying to help ...

JWN

Go to a meeting!

You know you want to.

Hello Brave Babes.

Just popping on to say a quick hello.

bafana - good luck at the dentist x

JWN - listen to MIFLAW!

Had a nice time seeing my family yesterday..... my mother seems to be getting worse health wise though. She has MS and diabetes, amoungst other problems, and they've just put her on Morphine.

She appears to be taking her illness out on my poor father too, and my baby brother (he's 25 ) so I think things are a wee bit frought when no-one else is around.

I feel a bit helpless and angry that she's acting this way.

Anyway, waffling now. Off to put Nemo for a nap and get some lunch.

Be back later xx