Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I found some porn in my bathroom

1002 replies

Stupiditysquared · 19/02/2011 12:58

.. and asked the DCs if they'd downloaded it.

This was a pretty stupid thing to do. Nuclear war has erupted. The trouble was that in 18 years of marriage, DH has never used porn (so far as I am aware). He never normally goes into that bathroom, whereas the DCs do. Also I did not know that he'd been at home. It never occurred to me that it was him.

Now DD is screaming at her father that he is a filthy pervert. He's screaming at me for being stupid, which in fairness it was. And I'm in shock really.

What next

OP posts:
plasticgeordieman · 19/02/2011 23:45

seems like there is a lot of guess work going on here!

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 23:46

the OP said she thought the girl might be trafficked

nobody else has said that

nobody else on this thread has seen the pics

I would trust the OP though

she has no agenda in minimising the impact of the pics

Andwellwasi · 19/02/2011 23:46

Aren't all children underage as far as porn is concerned? I believe it's 18 to view it.

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 23:49

WWIFN...I am so confused

there have been some posters I normally respect immensely come on his thread to say "wtf is the fuss all about?"

I think a huge fuss is required here

why is there only the number of posters I can count on one hand who are totally appalled by this ?

can't understand it

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 23:50

yes, andwell

I still don't see your point though

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 19/02/2011 23:51

With you Peter, was thinking exactly the same. I wonder why it would be.

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 19/02/2011 23:54

For me it might be different as I grew up in foster care, but I know, had explicit porn such as this, belonging to a foster father, been found in a child's bathroom, Social Services would have been very concerned. Obviously, it's a different thing in private households such as this, but the impact on the daughter in particular is no different, so should it be treated differently? Not in my mind, but as I say, maybe my feelings are skewed.

squeakytoy · 19/02/2011 23:56

Dittany. I know you are having to maintain your deep angst against anything you deem to be slightly sexual, but a photo can not show that a person has been trafficked. No more than it would show if someone was russian, english, or american.

Dittany, you seem to be very knowledgeable about porn yourself, do you look at it so you can protest about it???

Or do you just assume you know everything about it?

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 23:56

loopy, I don't think it should be different, just because this is a private household

that is my whole point

your feelings are not skewed

madonnawhore · 19/02/2011 23:57

WHY DID HE CHOOSE THAT BATHROOM TO WANK ON AND NOT THE ONE HE HAS 'CLAIMED' FOR HIMSELF?

That is the creepiest thing about this whole situation. Why do it there? Why be so careless? Why take the risk?
I really want to know the answer to those questions.

I'm trying to project back to when I was 14 years old and how i would have felt if i found out my dad had left hardcore pornographic material in the bathroom. I think i would have felt horrified, like space i considered 'safe' had been violated, and that my right to safe use of that space had been totally disrespected.

Your poor DD. And DS too.

wigpartee · 19/02/2011 23:58

I'm sorry, have read this whole thread and...Jeez...

I have no comment about his use of porn or his choice of porn pics but to start shrieking abuse when IT COULD JUST BE he left the pics in there is just fucking ridiculous.

No one posting knows otherwise, do they???? Unless OP has stated that he left the images in there deliberately (which as far as I have read, he hasn't), then the conclusions you are drawing are totally totally over the top.

PeterAndreForPM · 19/02/2011 23:59

squeaky, your arguments now are out of place on this thread

seriously, don't bait another poster about their views on sex and relaionships on a thread such as this

have some fucking boundaries, but better still, have some manners

stick to the point, if you must stick around

wigpartee · 20/02/2011 00:00

another interesting point, how can you tell someone 'looks trafficked' Confused

that is slightly off topic admittedly, but still equally baffling

PeterAndreForPM · 20/02/2011 00:01

yes, wig, it is OT

dittany · 20/02/2011 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeterAndreForPM · 20/02/2011 00:03

MW yes

precisely

porn culture at its very worst

right on this very thread

fucking sickening, isn't it

squeakytoy · 20/02/2011 00:03

why the fuck shouldnt I treat Dittany in the same way she is treating me?

I think she has some very very narrow minded and prejudiced opinions that she projects onto others.

She is obsessed with trying to pin abuse or rape tags onto men, and consistently states her assumptions as fact without any proof and likes to plant seeds into the minds of those who are in need of help and advice.

I find her posts to be very dangerous and extreme.

wigpartee · 20/02/2011 00:04

Not so OT that you have referred to it several times Peter Wink

wigpartee · 20/02/2011 00:07

Totally agree with you there Squeaky. This could be something that could be resolved...but all the suggestions of ulterior motives for leaving the images there ultimately railroads any possibility of that.

When none of you could possibly KNOW this is the case, why would you push this idea forward?

RumourOfAHurricane · 20/02/2011 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PeterAndreForPM · 20/02/2011 00:08

squeaky, I think you are a bit paranoid and defensive

I have been just as derogatory towards you on his thread but you have fixated on Dittany

I assume you have had run-ins with her before ? Because comments on this thread don't justify your vitriol

HTH

squeakytoy · 20/02/2011 00:09

Or to spell it out - the women in porn aren't enjoying it you know. It's the men who buy the porn who or who download it who find double penetration, spit-roasting or whatever enjoyable to watch.

and you know that for a fact do you?

Has it occured to you that some women may actually enjoy watching porn, it isnt solely for the enjoyment of men.

Some women even enjoy being in porn films. I happen to know a few who are in them because they choose to be.

LoopyLoopsHulaHoops · 20/02/2011 00:10

The point is wig, it hasn't been explored by the OP. She has gone to bed now, so everyone left is just conjecting. Obviously, that will be conjecting upon best and worst case scenario.

Surely you must see how people reached to the conclusion that using the children's bathroom for his wankery is odd? Or do you see that as a dull and uninteresting factor in the OP?

Andwellwasi · 20/02/2011 00:10

I think Dittany can stick up for herself.

You're coming across as a bit of a moderator.

madonnawhore · 20/02/2011 00:13

Squeakytoy are you married with kids? If you were in the OP's situation would you not be a bit freaked out?

Whatever your personal views on porn are, would you not be a bit like, "holy shit, if i hadn't have noticed it one of our underage children could totally have found it which is totally inappropriate."?

Also if you then spoke to your husband about it and he was a total aggressive wanker to you instead of abjectly apologetic and remorseful, would you not think it was all a bit icky and weird?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.