The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

day three

Good morning Babes - very nearly managed a boing there and startled myself . Slept from 10pm to 7.30am straight through and the sun is shining...
Truth are you ok? Talk to us. We've all been there and done it.
silver noteven mouse et al - mornin to ya
Thurso keep at it with the DH, i DO understand.
Indie you totally rock my girl. I am wearing my grey trousers today which i haven't been able to fasten have been a little snug for a while!
But tell me one thing Babes - why is it that even though the sleep is better, the weight is shifting ( a bit - the trousers are still pretty large), and I'm starting to feel better, I still feel I am denying myself something and should "reward" myself with the poison that got me in the mess in the first place .

oh, and TWDA - bloody well done!

just realised that i thought I hadn't had a solid month of total non drinking in years which is actually absolute rubbish! Had a dc so didn't drink for 2 months while ttc, didn't drink at all through pregnancy ( bar half a glass of bubbly at sis wedding & my birthday 6 months in) and didn't drink while bf. Now DC is a toddler am slipping back into bad habits so need to knock that on the head asap!
Anyway, DAY THREE...

Morning

I do have done the same about buying 'nice' wine as I wasn't going to have much and then when I had drunk the whole bottle tell myself it was only because it was so nice that I had finished the lot off. So still drank as much but pocket is now lighter.

How are you today Silver

Noteven you sound alot more positive, are you OK.

I answered the phone last night, which I haven't been doing for ages but have been using 1471 as I am trying to avoid XP. Thought it might be my parents with news from Canada as they are over there are the mo. Well it wasn't it was XP who has been phoning pretty much every day since he left me stranded in town on my own 6 weeks ago. Worried now as he will either leave me alone or call even more

Truth

You've lived to tell the tale. Don't beat yourself up any more than the drink already has. Just start again and try not to forget how you're feeling now, because that may save your life in the future.

Venus - my experience of being brutally honest about the extent and nature of my drinking is that people just glaze over. They literally do not understand.

My partner and I met online and nearly didn't get together because I was sober and she described herself as a "heavy drinker". When we met up anyway (because everything else was okay) I realised that her definition of "heavy drinking" was, frankly, pathetic. She drank in a night out what I used to have for lunch - and she didn't even do it every day! Now I just tell people, "I used to drink a lot" and let them imagine something meaningful for them on the basis of that - it's almost certain to be wrong but at least they can then relate to it.

I told a doctor the truth once (though actually even that was an underestimate.) He looked at me as if he didn't understand how I was still vertical and breathing.

TDWA - well done on making day three, keep at it.

TWDA well done on your quiet determination. Can you use what you posted to give you confidence? You DID survive for many months without a drink, so I am sure that you can do it again.

"But tell me one thing Babes - why is it that even though the sleep is better, the weight is shifting ( a bit - the trousers are still pretty large), and I'm starting to feel better, I still feel I am denying myself something and should "reward" myself with the poison that got me in the mess in the first place ."

Because - and just my opinion, as always - you are a problem drinker (don't know how you feel about the "A" word ...)

As a result, your response to EVERYTHING will, initially, be, "drink." You might not look like him, but under the skin you are, as I am, Father Jack. Bad day? DRINK! Good day? DRINK! Lottery win? DRINK! Lost job? DRINK! Phonecall to make? DRINK! Phonecall to answer? DRINK! Cat dead? DRINK! Shoelace broken? DRINK! Had too much to drink? DRINK!

This is going to stay with you for a while - but, because you have broken the cycle, you are no longer obliged to respond to it. Whatever your next best treat is apart from a drink, respond to it absolutely guiltlessly and automatically.

Mine is coffee, to the extent that when I initially stopped drinking I was dehydrated, because I was drinking loads of coffee and smoking loads of fags, and I no longer had my main source of mineral water, which was Stella Artois.

I still drink a lot of coffee. But I have yet to be barred from Caffe Nero or pick a fight with a stranger after one too many lattes.

Good post MIFLAW - you have hit the nail on the head about 'rewarding' yourself with a drink whatever the circumstances, good or bad.

MIFLAWout of interest, how much DID you actually used to drink?

My concern is that, if I answer that, even bearing in mind that I am a man and over 6ft tall, there will be people on here who think, "I'm nowhere near that bad!" So may I preface my answer with the AA advice, which has nothing to do with quantity or frequency - "If drink is costing you more than money - THINK!"

I told the doctor that I was drinking 100 units a week (and smoking 40 Marlboro reds a day.) I was probably actually drinking a bit more than that because of the way I had counted my units. I drank every day and I drank more if I wasn't working.

There you go. That's why I say that if I can do it, anyone can.

NEW THREAD AGAIN

MIFLAW - I believe that 100%. If you can do it and stay sober, one day at a time, after drinking that amount, then ANYONE can.

They just have to WANT to.

Worth pointing out, too, that, just as no tramp was ever born on a park bench, so I didn't start out drinking anywhere near that amount.

It just sort of happened ...

I was truly horrified when I counted up the number of units I was consuming. Sometimes I could do the recommended max units per week in a day - and still get up for work the next morning. I am very, very ashamed.

So, what shall we talk about?

Cheese? Or what about Cheddar cheese?

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left

ANyone still lurking about on here

Looks like just you and me left Venus

Go to this thread

Last post then off to the new thread

new Brave Babes thread here