The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

isindie - respect to you lovely - you are doing fantastically well xx

Evening all,

I think the 'how much you drink' thing is a bit of a red herring, though having the extra money (and calories!) is obviously a great thing to be grateful for when you've stopped. It's more the what alcohol does to you when you put it inside your body.

It's so great to hear that so many of you are doing and feeling so well, it's a huge encouragement to me that there are amazing things going on here. Indie you sound brilliant!

This going to work thing does get in my way of chatting to you all. I obviously need a different job! (not - I love what I do). I feel ok if full of a cold tonight. Have had good chats about the big scary stuff and I am just (yes it's an AA thing but it's a good one) keeping it as simple as I can. Eat, sleep, be hydrated, go to work, care for DD, share how I'm feeling. That's it. The rest, will happen when it will.

Love to all and isn't it wonderful to go to bed sober and wake up sober!?

indie hope you dont think I was being competitive . I am dirt poor at the moment, being back to being a single parent, and was worrying about money, so I worked out how much I was no longer spending, to make myself feel better about the occasional cheer myself up gifts .

noteven you're sounding good tonight, and I'm so glad that you love your job. I was working today with people who've been homeless and one was delighted 'cos he'd got 8 hours work a week - makes such a difference to his life and self-esteem. Yet most of the time I go to places where people who have jobs are bemoaning their lot.

isindie I can not believe how much money I have these days, how rarely I have to go to the cash- machine. Sometimes I kidded myself that as long as I was buying expensive wine then I wasn't a real alcoholic (well we all KNOW that alkies are on park benches drinking the cheapest, they're not nice ladies knocking back the Pouilly Fume ) And of course there were the large glasses of wine in the station hotel at £8 a glass .

silver always lovely to see you around babe....

Day two done

Hey Venus lovely to see you too hon. Not much to add because there's not much for me to say. Things will get better - I hope - ............. still I will drag Gerald out of the garage, spruce him up, check oil ,water and windscreen washer and go to bed thinking of where we should go next.

Not so good at the moment my lovely babes, as I'm sure you will have gathered.

Sweet dreams my lovelies

and Isindie and Ma - keep it up - you are out of this world ladies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Right you 'orribile lot..... I'm off to bedfordshire.

HERE is the next thread, just in case I'm not back in time to do it in the morning.

Sleep well Brave Babes.

Bit of drama here tonight, my mother has actually spoken to me for more than 10 minutes.

I'm really rather weepy about it.

Night all xx

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

silver I am just happy that you are around and posting - the rest WILL come, when you are ready, or when you reach rock bottom. And we will be here.

mouse - my mum is 83 and in the late days of her life I am glad that we have managed to sort out our problems and at least be in contact.

Hey,

Hello everybody (in my head that sounds like someone from a sitcom, oh I know it's the Dr in The Simpsons!).

Glad to see a Mouse in the house! Sleep tight Mrs!

Hello Silver so happy to see you back. We are off to Exeter tomorrow, early (another open day), do you fancy coming with us, I'm sure DC1 would love to see Gerald and a load of his Mum's friends turn up .

Isindie you sound so, so happy, it has made me smile each time I have read your posts lately. Congratulations on what you have done, from my heart.

Ma how are you? I had my highlights done this morning, and felt la de da, for the afternoon, everyone at work loved it (they are much blonder than usual)(the highlights, not the workmates ), Dh got home said "have you had your hair done, it looks nice", and was very lovely, until something happened in the study, and he got a right strop on, and disappeared to the garage, and upstairs for an hour, then came down, and didn't speak until he went to bed, when he said "I'm sorry, I wasn't angry at you, your hair does look nice". Well just fuck off sleep tight.

Rant over.....
I'll be back tomorrow evening.
Much love
XXXXX

thurso well at least you know that it's a work issue that is bugging him, AND you know that HE knows that he is angry, and that he wants to tell you that (despite that) he still likes your hair.

There could be many worse ways for him and you to go off to bed.

I think I can understand 'cos last week I did something very nioe for dp, but because he'd had a bad day it didn't all work out as I'd expected.... a few days later and a different story

very nice for dp....

I fucked up.

Venus how lovely to hear from you.

Yes, DH was really tired as well, and we have a long drive ahead tomorrow, and I am a drama queen at home, model of rationality at work!

Bye the bye, and don't answer if I'm being intrusive, did you ever "let it all out" to DP?, some while ago, you were debating it. You are obviously really back on track

OOps X posted.
Sorry truth are you alright darling?

Truth are you safe?

truth - whatever, whatever... big drink of water, clean your teeth with loads of toothpaste ( and then do it again ), get into bed and sleep. There is nothing you can do at this moment that will make it any better.

If you fucked up and messed with other people, then sort it when you're sober - not now. If you've fucked up your-self and you're feeling pissed and pissed off then get to sleep and in the morning we'll work out a plan that helps you. Tomorrow is another day.

thurso hmmmm... my biggest secret - all of you on here (lurkers, posters, casual readers) know so much more about my drinking than dh does. It continues to be my shameful secret.

Two things hold me back from telling him - if I remain sober, he will never need to now about the extent of my alcoholism... - or if I really mess up, he will not know what at terrible, and awful thing that is (well not until it really fucks up our lives).

Having said that, he and I are both on a 50 day detox (he does not quite recognise that I have a big head-start) and I think that will be a good opportunity for some discussion about the subject.

Venus What shameful secret? You have a huge, massive achievement to tell him about .

But.... I do know exactly what you mean. If you haven't told him so far, and you have been so strong to do it alone in RL, then I can understand that you might not want to dredge all the bad stuff up.

Only you know what works for you, and actually, when I have slipped up sometimes, I have quietly gone to bed, and not mentioned anything, because, in the end, it's about me, really, not confessions.

How is your DD, I can't go to bed, because I am so excited about seeing DC1 tomorrow, when we take DC2 for the open day!, I will never sleep!
xxx

Are you OK Truth

Morning everyone,
Silver venus is right, you have to be ready. How bad do you want it to get? I have had to ask and re-ask these questions of myself and this weekend have been absolutely brought to my knees asking that this be the worst. But if I want, it can get so, so much worse. It will take everything, if I let it.

truth come back and talk to us, if you are anything like me there will be a fair dose of remorse and guilt and despair today, I know I have been there, and am here for you.

Have good days one and all, hope you have a good trip thurso, I'm still full of this cold but up and off to work, just living today because that's all I've got. x