The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

You can add me to the MIFLAW fan club...

Met him on the weekend and was not a scary ogre! Went to a meeting that was potentially a teensy bit uncomfortable (pretty much all men, some things I didn't really want to know). Was nice to know someone there, albeit in a sad internet chatroom kind of way. So thanks v much MIF.

I really needed that meeting. I went home for a few days and caught up with friends. Was quite a struggle and my head was all over the place. I've only told a couple of people in RL and they are quite shocked that I'm doing this (or just good actresses) and it made me doubt my decision to seek help. But then I just thought back to the list of the awful things I've done over the last decade, the amont of danger I've put myself in, and played the evening through to the end, and it really is the best remedy for a craving.

I also got a few complements about looking well and most importantly, seeming really happy. Makes it all worth it! I was even out until 4am dancing! The thing that scared me was that I felt really really bad the next day, even without having a drink. Shows how much my body used to have to withstand. Another thing I previously worried about was that people would keep asking why I wasn't drinking...noone even noticed.

There are lots of newcomers here and I can't stress enough how great all these women are. Keep checking this thread for inspiration! I am sober 7 weeks tomorrow! Never thought I would get this far.

Thanks everyone x

Wow nextchapter seven weeks is fantastic!! Well done you.

Glad to see all the MIFLAW fans defending him. He tells you the uncomfortable truth. You may not want to hear it, but I am very glad he is on this thread.

Another MIFLAW fan here. It's not always easy to hear what he has to say but his wise words frequently pop into my head at times of crisis.

Ok, ok. I am happy to revise that to I FEEL it's a bully. IMHO .

Thanks Bafana

I have been following you all silently in cyberspace. Am remainly mainly sober and this thread is a lifeline for me.
MIFLAW has made me examine my motives and behaviour around drinking and much of his posts have hit home and remained in my mind long after I have closed down the laptop.

I continue to mainly lurk but I had to defend MIFLAW.

Straight-talking, honest, insightful, kind.

A bully? No way.

Night brave babes

X

"Remaining mainly sober".

I haven't touched a drop tonight.

Morning all.
Just for today, I won't be drinking, and however hard things are, they won't be improved by a drink and I will just try and keep it in the day. I've got a streaming cold and I feel rough but today sobriety is the best and only choice for me.

Love to all x

Morning all,

Goodness, this line has been busy since I last looked.

I hope you are all well this cold morning.

Just to add, there are many times that the things Miflaw have said have stayed with me, and helped me immeasurably, on my road to helping myself. I can't thank him enough for taking the time to write on here.

Have good days all.
xx

DAY TWO

Morning to all.

isindie - day 12 - bloody fantastic from the the "I can't get past day 4/6/7/...whatever". Semms like you can, now that you've chosen to .

I love these many, many threads and all the support and kindness that comes through it. But at the end of the day, we're a bunch of drinkers/not-drinkers on the internet and of course there are going to be times when we rub each other up the wrong way. But bloody-hell, this forum is nothing like some others. A couple of years ago I dabbled in another on-line forum for drinkers, but tbh it was like being in an angry bar every night. There were people posting from AA literature trying to out-quote each other (as if there were some special honour in being able to cut and paste), there very on-going, violent, disrespectful and personally vitriolic arguments about AA versus non-AA, there were accusations of secret drinking and lying. It did nothing to help me to say sober. Unlike this thread - which helps me when I post and helps me when I read, and helps me because of the commitment I feel to it. Thanks to ALL babes and boys, frequent posters, occasional popper-ins, lurkers, big characters, quiet out-of-the-limelighters, arguers, conciliators. Thanks all for helping me to keep my resolve.

what a great post venus. I too love the unconditional support and understanding on this thread.

"and of course there are going to be times when we rub each other up the wrong way."

add to that ^^ that it can be really difficult to communicate through text/typing as you can't read tone or intent, or see the other persons body language etc. Sometimes things can be taken a little out of context, it helps to just stay calm and try not to take offense too readily.

anyway,TWO WEEKS for me today, yeah baby!!

Hope everyone is ok and happy xx

Wow - thank you all! You are very kind. Carry on like this and I may have to get some t-shirts printed up ...

TWDA you are welcome to your opinion (though obviously I vehemently disagree with it) but PLEASE get your facts straight. I have scrolled back and can't even see where I have addressed FedUp directly, still less "bullied" her. Maybe I have missed something?

Listen, it's very simple. In as far as length of sobriety counts for anything, I am a reasonably long time sober. And in that time I have seen people drink and then die of it. Anyone here has the right to drink whatever and whenever they want - it's not even illegal. And you are probably right - probably not everyone here is an alcoholic. But, leaving aside the terminology, it's clear that a lot of us here have problems with alcohol when we drink and the nature of that problem is, by and large, not being able to stop.

I'm not then going to say, "oh, well, you drank, never mind, you've cut down and that's the main thing" because I don't believe it to be the case. If someone is NOT a problem drinker but is drinking too much and cuts down, of course that is brilliant - he or she will be better off, healthier and will probably lose wieght into the bargain. But if someone is a problem drinker then, by definition, their control of their drinking is precarious and short-term to say the least.

If such a person drinks and comes back then of course I am glad. I am glad that (s)he is not dead or locked up. I am glad that - apparently, because (s)he has come back - it has strengthened her resolve. And I can relate to it because I did it myself, several times.

But it's not something I am prepared to endorse, any more than I would smile indulgently at an emphysema sufferer having a "cheeky puff". And, as the main reason any of us is here is to share our experience and get better together, I will, by and large, say that if I think it will help anyone else.

As you say, TWDA, you can just ignore me if you like. But there's a difference between bullying - saying things to people to try to hurt or control them - and giving people honest answers to questions and them not liking the answers.

Qo

Brilliant news on two weeks - stick at it!

Morning everyone from another MIFLAW fan. Couldn't post much yesterday as I was actually working at work and then I drove my parents to the airport, they are going abroad to be with the rest of the family and for my Uncle's funeral so feeling pretty sad at the moment. Good news is that I have drunk less over this last week than I think I ever have for a long time.

New guy has told me he is falling for me . Feels very scary but I think I feel the same, hasn't been long but it feels right if you know what I mean (my twat radar is finely tuned after my last couple of disaster relationships and the alarms aren't ringing)

Well done Ma and Indie and everyone else who is doing so well, today is another day to anyone not doing so well.

How are things Noteven
JWN sorry to hear things are so stresful

isindie fabulous, fabulous post.

Afternoon Brave Babes

Okay, I've ahem, caught up.

IMO, MIFLAW is a bit sharp, bold and occasionally a tiny bit harsh but he is ALWAYS only trying to help.

He doesn't have a spiteful bone in his body. He's been sober for far longer than any of us, must be 8 years now, or not far off.

He's been through every single step that we go through, time and again with some.

Most people get offended by his posts because they are true. No more, no less. He shows you yourself and at times, it's not a pretty picture. I find him a crucial part of this thread.

Well done to those of you who are almost at the 2 week mark!

IsinDe - dear me girl! You are on fire at the moment. I've missed your posts like that last one, brilliant.

KEEP GOING!

Off to try and get Nemo to nap.

Back later

Thanks IsinDe was being to worry I wasn't boozy enough to join the bus!You know like those poor sods who are obese but not enough to get their stomachs stapled on the NHS so then go to try to put on even more weight...

I'm good thanks IsinDe

Loving the sunnyshiney day that we have here.

hey all, and hey to Isindie. you are doing brilliantly girl, great post.
A bit off the pace here if the truth be told, but still trying to totter onwards.....
have actually managed to lose some weight
zany - ooh, falling in love...sigh