The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Thank you all.
DD is hopefully coming back soon.

Definitely the 4 Horsemen - I'd never read that bit of the big book before - it describes "the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. That was me this morning. I am gradually seeing the hangover through to the end. Please let this be as bad as it has to get. I am going to have to face family and Social Services. That is the reality of what choosing to drink has brought for me.

yay isindie. i am SO proud of you!!!
This is also the longest I have been sober since 2001 and preg with DS

Well done Ma! xx

well done on the plan isindie. i feel a little flat, curiously. Probably all the other stuff going on or maybe the aDs kicking in.
What is it you do, jobwise?

Hi everyone

Dob't forget Ma that you have done 8 days, that is 8 days of alcohol that hasn't been in your system. It sounds to me as if you need to start seeinh yourself as more important in your family as you have done in the past. It is lovely to put others first and their feelings first and so I hope that after your talk your DH with consider you more.

Noteven my heart goes out to you. You have had so much on your plate recently and have stayed off the drink for most of that so please see this as a blip that you can and will get through. Can I ask why SS are involved, don't worry if you don't want to say.

I have had a lovely but sad weekend. My absolutly amazing and lovely sister and niece have been up and so we have been talking about my Uncle alot. We made a memory card for him today to give to my Aunie and we all wrote a short note about our best memory of him, was upsetting to do but I hope it will bring some comfort to her.

New guy has met my DC's and some of my family this weekend. I don't usually introduce anyone I go out with to the kids but it feels so right. They all loved him.

Evening babes

Noteven, SS were involved with my family a few years ago when I had severe PND and the local mental health team thought that my daughter could be at risk because of my erratic behaviour. Although I know it's not always the case, that time they were tremendously supportive, and I never got the impression that they wanted to take her away, merely the feeling that they wanted to make sure the right support structures were in place, and to ensure her safety. I know it feels vile when someone says to you 'I'm going to call social services', but SS want to keep children in their families, at the end of the day. I hope it turns out well for you, and that this is just a blip on your road to recovery and freedom.

I'm fighting the urge to have a drink (or 2, or 3, etc) tonight, but I'm contenting myself with a lovely alcohol free pear 'cider' in a pretty wine glass. Seems wiser... It's frightening how much effort it takes to resist though. According to the WHO-approved questionnaire I did I'm moderately alcohol dependent so I think I'm going to be pretty horrid to be around for the next few weeks while I dry out!

Indie, hope the tea worked

xx

Ma - I'm with IsinDe on the 'change' theory. Because you are taking control and making positive changes within your life, things feel a bit alien.

I felt like that in the beginning. Plus the ADs will make you a bit fractious to start...... you'll be more jumpy and a bit over sensitive but that should settle after 3/4 weeks.

Your brain is having to adjust to the new routine, and your body......

You'll get there, as we all will evetually.

Hey Ellie - You need to get something sweet to keep in the house/handbag. You'll get sugar cravings when you least expect it. Stay hydrated too, lots of water to flush the toxins out.

Milk Thistle is good for repairing the liver damage, plenty of vit B and C too.... all helps you immune system to recover, heal and get stronger.

Your skin may get a bit spotty as the toxins come out, your hair may go a bit greasy too...

BUT...

Once you get past that, your face will be more even in skin tone and texture, your hair will shine and look so healthy, your eyes will be bright and you will sleep like a baby, all night, every night.

It.

Is.

Worth.

It.

night all.
Dh's birthday today and even though DD1 made a fabulous lasagne and the most amazing triple layer cake, he's got a gob on!
Drinking water and trying not to smack him one!

Ma

Deep breaths. Don't let him get to you. You know why he's doing this 'it's my party and I'll cry if I want to'

Just go to bed and leave him to it.

Tomorrow is a whole new day xxx

Sleep well IsinDe - have a peaceful night. You are a whole other person these days. I like you even more than before

Is that even possible? xx

Evening lovely ladies.
That was the most amazing meeting and totally what I needed to hear. Today I haven't had a drink. I need to try and stop beating myself up. I need to accept my alcoholism. I am very grateful to you all.

noteven

Is DD still with you then? Did your uncle not call SS?

I'm glad your meeting went well. I hope you sleep soundly x

I know I'll probably not get a reply this late.

I've read all of these threads. Love them!

I've joined websites dealing with alcohol use before but never felt welcome. I asked on one what and how much people drank and nobody would answer. And I got shouted at for asking! I just wanted to know so I could measure my own drinking, I suppose.

Anyway. Think I need some help. I can go days without drinking but I have no self control when I do drink. Probably five bottles of wine a week - drinking 1 1/2 bottles three maybe four nights. Rarely feel ill on it and no health problems.

Any advice? I know it's not good. Oh, and MIFLAW scares me, sorry MIFLAW!

Hi Mouse, DD is here with me, and my uncle is phoning the SW today, I don't know what they'll do. I am just trying to do the next right thing - I am sober, I am going to work, DD has childcare, and we'll wait and see what happens. OK, that doesn't give anything about just how anxious I am about it all but I am trying to just keep it in the day, do my part today, be honest and willing. I slept badly and I woke a lot with palpitations and weepiness but have prayed and all I can do is live in this 24 hours and I learnt a lot in my few weeks of sobriety and that isn't gone.

Indie hope you have a good mad busy day!

FedUp for me it's having lost the ability to control my drinking - I have demonstrated that one spectacularly this last week after 24 days of enjoyable, peaceful sobriety. What keeps you drinking? Do you enjoy it? Feel remorseful after it? Let people down because of it?

Right, off to keep busy, lots of love to you all and thank you for your kindnesses to me this weekend.

Morning all,

Hello Fedup,

Isindie you sound great, have a good drive, lovely, are you coming down South?

Noteven Have a good day, I hope you feel a bit better, now that it's later in the morning.

I had a quite a revelation last night... we went to a "do" that i've been to many times before, and on our table was someone who I know in a vagueish way. The welcome drinks were out, and the lady asked to get me one, "I'll have fizzy water" I said. We got our drinks, and she said to me "you're good", so I said "well, it's a school night, and if I have one, I'll want to have six", she replied "Oh, I know what you mean" quite unconcerned, and carried on chatting.

I said to DH afterwards that it came to me, that no-one actually cares or notices or makes a big deal about what others drink (unless they are worrried themselves maybe?). Before, it was me, constantly wondering in my head, whether I should have one, or if I could have two, and thinking I would buy a bottle on the way home. I've never drunk a lot at these things, but crikey, my mind was easier when I didn't give myself the option at all.
I hope you all have lovely days,

Ma, I'm thinking of you, hope DH didn't expect his "Birthday present" last night!

Mouse I hope you had a peaceful night, and that the springlike weather is with you today.

JWN don't work yourself too hard this week, you can only do, what you can do. I hope that doesn't sound trite, but I can imagine you working like the clappers, to recoup the lost contract by working five times the pace.

Venus love to you wherever you are.

Miflaw Hello, and I hope your family are well, how's your baby?

Finally, to all new co-passengers, hello, glad to meet you, this thread is a joy, and a privelege to belong to.

Much love xxx

privilege!

fedup - good morning. Your drinking sounds about the same as mine - so yes, too much.
Please board the bus and don't be afraid if someone seems abrasive or has posts not to your liking. We are all different, and try and be supportive in our different ways.
You will find so many lovely people on here - nobody has fairy dust to sprinkle and suddenly make life easy, but the support is fantastic and i , for one, couldn't do without this lifeline!
indie you rock, babe!
mouse as alaways, thankyou
Hi and hello to all the other babes, boys and lurkers

DAY 6... is no more. Am going to have to start over thanks to a boozy Sunday lunch - no hangover but after being in the pub all day with friends for a lovely loooong lunch and having a moderate amount of wine came home via the offie and had a pint at home which I deffo did not need. No self control. So to prove to myself that I can have self control am going cold turkey for March, birthday's, work do's, Sunday lunches be damned...

So today is DAY ONE. Looking forward to all the energy I'll have -it's been YEARS since I've gone a whole month without drinking...

Hello everyone - shouldn't really be on here - I'm very close to missing a deadline on some work I'm doing - so must get off and finish it...

Christi lovely to see your post, I was thinking of you last week. The first week in a new job is exhausting, so much to concentrate on, and so many new routines. Remember to look after yourself in all of it, make sure you relax with a nice fresh glass of juice, treat yourself to a massage rather than a bottle of fizz, and enjoy putting you brain to work again.

Isindie you sound just wonderful xx

determinedma I thought your post on Saturday was suberb. I so understand the fear of success and that self-sabotage stuff that comes with it. Recently I have dared to do well in a couple of things, and to be just a little bit fabulous on occasion. If still feels scary, but it also feels good.

noteven glad to see you getting right back into the things that help you. Back to your AA meetings, straight back to work. Some people would have gone on a week-long bender in your position. You didn't. You fucked up, but you are not still doing it. That is a massive difference. Please take all the help you need from wherever you can get it.

mouse, thurso, bafana, JWN, and all others - hello.

I had a call for help at the weekend from my friend who had walked out on her (d)h. Long-standing relationship problems, but often brought to head by both of them drinking. So she had decided that her first step was not to be drunk on Saturday night. She's been a long-standing drinking buddy of mine so I've been sort of avoiding her recently, and hadn't told her that I wasn't drinking. Anyway, this weekend was great - I could give her some of our ideas, and felt that for once I could be a real friend in need, rather than someone to get pissed with. Tbh, she was quite astonished - she thought that I'd be really cynical about her not drinking - she certainly hadn't been expecting practical support, and she hadn't expected that this week we'd be going out for a cup of coffee and a chat!

Hey All

Feeling down in the dumps and sorry for myself tbh, having dealt with an incredibly difficult and stressful weekend.

My FIL ended up on a 4 day bender, and after 2 months of being pretty much sober it has been so upsetting. His character completely changes and he is a pain in the bloody bum when he is drinking .

He agreed to go to AA on Saturday morning but in the intervening hours managed to aquire and drink another couple of bottles of wine.

We did go, and I am hoping that he will keep going, but I need to recognise that I cannot do this for him, I cannot keep him sober or be his babysitter, he needs to want this enough and do it for himself.

I have just found the whole thing emotionally draining.

To top it off, I had words with my sister yesterday. To be fair, she was tired and hungover, I was tired and pissed off. She made an ill thought comment, and I overreacted. But I had also discovered that she has told her MIL that I am in AA, and I am really upset with her about it, (am I overreacting on this??) It's not her information to share, and I really don't want it to be shared. My FIL has also shared this information with his youngest son - and I am pretty pissed of about that too.

So all in all, a pretty crappy emotional weekend. Woke up this morning, and really battled to get out of bed, but I am here, although posting here is not really working .

I didn't drink on it, and tbh looking at the state of FIL - I really didn't want to drink {looking for the positive}.

AA is right, life still throws stuff at you when you are not drinking, and it can still be difficult.

OK, feel slightly better having ranted and railled. Off to get myself a Costa coffee, and get sstuck into the week.

Love to all
Chins up BB

hey Bafana, that sounds like a seriously shit weekend
You are right, your FIL is going to have to do this on his own two feet. As i am fast realising, you have to take care of you
TWDA - starting again on Day 1 happens a lot on this bus . it's allowed. but if it happens often you get your legs smacked by JWN
Hang on to the positives and just for today, you will not be drinking.