The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Night all you brave babes.
Hectic day, with lots to do and lots acheived.

truth well done on the phone call

Hi to all the newbies, at this rate we are going to have to upgrade Gerald to a double decker .

Need to get some much needed z's

Sleep well and safely

Bafana xxx

hi all! yet another busy day on here i see!

sorry not to say hello individually, just wanted to say, i remember my first sober week only too well, it wasnt that long ago in calender days, but it is light years away from the peace and calm and quiet i feel now - PLEASE!! stick with it!!, do 'the drill' when the evenings get hard going, do think about the sense of self worth you will get by marking another day off on the fridge calender - YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

my day has been total shit again, i feel so demoralised, after getting a contract that would have kept us on an even keel only a couple of weeks ago, we are now looking at disaster - i do feel reasonably calm and im trying my damndest to stay positive, but its so hard and im tired! dd has her appointment on monday, she has been sleeping for about 17 hours out of 24, which i think will do her no harm, sleep is a great cure-all i believe, she is at least fairly calm in herself now! to top it all off, one of my dbs has lost his job, a few weeks ago we could and would have been able to help financially, now we are styimed - i hate this feeling of impotence!

oh well! enough of me me me!! very sorry!

one of the aa promises is 'the fear of economic insecurity will leave us', i keep saying it over and over again to myself in the hope that it is true!

i have to go and 'do the drill'!, im not in any danger of picking up a drink, i just quite like the calming effect of doing it!

take care and keep it up babes, this thread seems to have picked up some kind of miracurlous momentum and its a fantastic thing to witness!

sorry that was very long and self indulgent [blush

Hope you get a good nights sleep JWN as things you can often feel more 'helpless' than you should do when your tired. Just because you may not be able to help financially you seem the sort of person who would offer lots of moral/emotional and practical support - just like you do on here

Night night babes

Hi all,
Sorry not to update last night, phone and e-mail with mum and family. DD has been up intermittently since 1 with cough and temperature. Not going to take her onto the ward to see mum but will go down south anyway. Have looked up meetings and will find out which I can do.

I want to be of some support because I have been helped so much by this thread - but though it's not the alcohol stopping me life is just a little too mad. I am so impressed that we have so many new ladies and would add to MIFLAW's comment that stopping drinking is barely the first step (if drugs can achieve that) - it's that life on life's terms thing that is getting me through the stark possibility that my mum could die on the operating table today.

Indie I often have my worst wobbles on the way home from meetings - that's not a reason not to go - it's because (my lovely wise sponsor says, I don't have much insight on my own) that there is so much talking of alcohol, that my sick mind latches on to that, but I can consciously remember the 'how much better it is' stuff - if I choose to. Any lengths is the phrase that I keep coming back to.

Going to try and sleep now but will be around today as no childcare. x

Indie well done you!!! You are so worth it!!
ma you too honey.

Have fab days everyone.

Good morning all

Whew, long day yesterday. I had such a shock , I didn't realise Bath was a new university. I was expecting something like Durham, and there Bath was, all 1966 .

Isindie Well done, you are doing so brilliantly. I walked in the door last night, unpacked my bag, and thought of a glass of wine, durr! But, had a bath, and went to bed early. Day 3 here, againnnn....

Noteven I hope all goes well today.xx

JWN sending you much love, you work so hard, it must be gutting to have the carpet whipped away from under you. My sister's DH works in the public sector, and has just been told that he has to work from home now, as "they" have sold his office! Thinking of your DD too. You are right sleep is good, especially with glandular fever, the exhaustion lasts for a long time with that.

I was thinking about Miflaw's posts. It's certainly true with me, that it's the mental thing that's much harder to get over. If I'm working, I don't drink, if I've got to go out in the morning the next day, I don't drink, even if I go to a "do" I don't drink (this is now, by the way, I have done all of those things in the past). I don't shake, or climb the wall, when I don't, just feel a bit crap on day 3 (!!), and don't sleep very well for a bit, But... for half an hour last night wine seemed to be the only option for me, and it was really quite hard, not to pick up. Sorry, rambled a bit here..

Hello new ladies, Welcome

Ma how are you today?

Mouse how are you, mum of the year

I must get some work done today, back to business next week.
Lots of love xxx

checking in. Day 7 for me too. A new record. another row with DH this morning, so things continuing to fall apart there.
hey ho!

Morning everyone!!

I've read back and am pmsl @ mouse and "wet places"

truth well done for making your phone call

inde well done for not giving into your owobble, that's brilliant THUMBS UP!!

noteven will be thinking of you today, please let us know how it goes?

I'm still doing well, I don't think I've ever watched so many DVD's in my life or had such good nights sleep!!

I feel like a bit of a fifth wheel here at the mo, as I don't actually need any help right now, and I'm a bit crap at offering help and advice to others (even though I'd really like to help and give back what I've been given) but I'll still be here checking in every day

Morning. Thankyou so much for the handholding last night.
I actually had a really good night sleep last night so have woken up positive.
18 years ago today we found my mum dead. She had overdosed. She was an alcoholic. I can still remember her hiding bottles behind the microwave or at the back of kitchen cupboards. Often she would collect us from school drunk.
I will not put my DC through that
I owe it to myself and to my mums memory to be different. Not to continue the cycle.
But fucking hell its hard.
This thread is amazing. When I finally posted I had been lurking for loooong time - since the beginning.
I thought I was the only one.

"I hate to think these things are in our genes - lots of family patterning and conditioning yes, but a foregone conclusion - NO!"

If it IS genetic, the fact that it's in your genes doesn't make it a foregone conclusion.

Look at those immensely obese people in the States who always seem to be in documentaries. They say their weight gain is "genetic".

if it's genetic, then it's always been in their family.

Look at photos of American families during the 19th century or even during the Great Depression. Where are the immensely obese people?

Even if something IS genetic, it will only become reality if you activate it. If you were genetically alcoholic but born into a strict Muslim family and never started drinking, you wouldn't have a drink problem.

For me personally, I do find the genetic argument quite convincing, though it's not perfect.

But that doesn't mean I have to lie down and die. I just need to work with it, not against it.

Morning Brave Babes

thurso thank you. Nemo had a better night last night, as did the wolfcub

JWN - how awful for you. That's happened to us in the past, DH has won a long term contract, only for that company to go 'bump' without paying us a penny. The number of times that my credit card bailed us out so that we could eat and stay in our home was horrible.

So frightening

I hope you are okay. I'm glad DD is much calmer too. Bless her xx

IsinDe - well done on beating the wobble. Pizza? I'd rather have pizza over a drink any day. I really do live up to my name.

My name is Mouse and I'm a cheeseaholic.

truth - then maybe this year, you should celebrate your sobriety and remember your mum for all of the other things she did. The positive memories that you have, how ever few.

That should be your motivation to get through this morning. We'll worry about the rest later.

Ma - day 7? Wow! Balls to DH, you need to focus on yourself as much as you can. Plus, 7-10 days is when your body really notices the lack of alcohol and starts to adapt.

Your mood may swing a bit more for a few days, just whilst you settle. Be Brave xx

mouse thankyou for the never been into cannabis so I will take it in the manner it has been given!
I have lots of really good memories re my mum. I know all she would want for me is a good happy healthy family so that is something I need to achieve. Can't keep blaming her for my bad choices can I? Its not fair plus she would kick my arse if she was here!
day one we all have to start at day one don't we? And it seems apt to start today of all days.
Thankyou again for your support. Didn't think I was worthy of it, thought I was the only one, thought I was crap.

truth there is no better place to start than Day 1.
Make your mum proud - bet she's cheering you on!

dementedma Thankyou! Day 1 is going well so far. Thought I would feel worse than I do (with mum etc).
You're right she would be cheering me on but I have to do this for me and my DC. And I will. With all your support.
xx

Morning bus

HOw is Nemo doing these days Mouse - is he managing to keep things down any better

NOteven how are things - what time is the operation

Ma and Indie day 7 well done

Truth how are you, must be a really difficult day for you today. Keep thinking of the good memories ans think of all the good memories you will give your daughter by giving her a happy health family. Day 1 could be the start of brilliant things. p.s. your not the only one or crap.

I have just heard that my Uncle is very poorly so very worried about him, he has lung cancer and it's terminal. Just burst into tears at work when my Mum phoned me

Sorry to hear about your uncle zanywany that must be so tough.
Today I'm ok - think the build up is worse than the actual day IYSWIM.

Zany - so sorry to hear that. My Grandfather died from that. He did smoke about 80 a day and refused to quit when the doctors told him to.

He said if he was going, he was going on his own terms. Stuborn bugger.

Nemo - he's much betterm still not eating, still tube fed. But he's also still gorgeous

Right babes,

Just getting this down here so you can nag me later.
I need to phone the bank, television license peeps and legal and general this afternoon.

Do not let me back on here this afternoon without these phone calls done!!!
My procrastinating days are marked.
Letter from exdp solicitor just came in . Has not affected me the way I thought it would though some of it I really did just laugh at - this is either my insanity shining through or my higher power telling me that I CAN cope with this.
?? anwswers on a postcard.

truth thanks for the pm, really glad to see you onboard.

qo just knowing that you are here and onboard is enough. Just post to say that you are here and sober, or want some support, or just shoot the breeze with us.

I contributed next to nothing to begin with, it's been gradual (like my recovery) that I have had more to contribute, and felt able to contribute.

Having a good day, looking forward to the rest of it.

Bafana
xxx

day 2

bafana believe me if I can make the dreaded phonecalls then so can you! Plus you have to because if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have joined this thread properly so you've got to set a good example right

hi all!, quick break while i inhale a sarnie!

no wise words really, just keep going, a day a time and remember

TODAY WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!!

take care babes - see you later xxxxxxxx

Hey TWDA - good on you