The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Ma - me? Never.

truth - WELL DONE!!!!!

truth - am very proud of you too.
now, have a nice bath, get into your pjs, clean your teeth and get to bed. this is known as "the drill" and will keep you from reaching for a bottle glass or two.
mouseface you have another song to listen to. have a hanky ready!
indie are you hanging tough?
Thurso noteven - are you guys ok?

"the drill"? ok I'm not familiar with that but it sounds like a good option. A bath sounds great - I've wound myself up so much about making that call that I don't think I've relaxed properly in weeks.
Tomorrow I can't have a drink as I have to do an airport to Heathrow fri am (early) so I guess tomorrow is a good time to start. Not that I drink lots - more my reasons for drinking concern me more than my quantity if that makes sense.

'The Drill' = pour the wine/vodka/beer away, brush your teeth twice and go to bed with water and 2 paracetamol inside you.

If it's still early, bath, book, bed with a warm drink.

Keeping busy really does work.

I used to walk Nemo (DS's nickname) when I was craving voddy. Fresh air would knock me out and I'd come back, put us both to bed, read and drop off.

Ma - can't get into my bloomin' account. Will keep trying and report back. Thank you so much. She's gorgeous xx

Thankyou mouseface that sounds like good advice. I just want tomorrow to be over with and I want to do it sober for once.

Well done truth one step at a time. Must be a really difficult time for you at the moment but keep telling us how you feel

Anyone there?

truth have a clear plan about the pressure points tomorrow: so know the answer you will give when someone asks what you want to drink - "I'd love an orange juice" - no room for wavering and someone offering you a glass of wine. Take your car (if you drive) so be committed to driving home without a single drink (people will only think good of you). Have something lovely in the house for when you get home - a bar of chocolate, some hot chocolate drink or a bottle of sparkling elderflower already chilling in the fridge.

You CAN do it sober. It may not be easy, but it really won't be any better if you have a drink.

There is no risk of anyone asking me if I want a drink tomorrow. my DChave got friends over to play and I have to have an early night in order to pick my dad up from Heathrowm 6am Fri am.
I frequently have nights out where I don't drink. If I'm honest the bigget problem I faceis when I'm home alone.

Right, I'm going to run myself a bath. I've had half a bottle of wine tonight and normally by now I'd be finishing it. Will find a good book to read. Fingers crossed.
Why do I feel like I'm in for a shit night sleep?

truth - Take all the advice that you can (and call me Mouse, we're friends now )

There are posters on here who have walking in your shoes, some who have not and others who have been to Hell and back, and then back again.

Break it all down. Slowly. Work out what you want, what will kill you first....... drink/drugs/smoking/driving to fast or drunk......

Put some value into your life. Start to 'give a shit' because you are worth far more than constent self loathing and despair....

We all are.

Stcik with us and we'll get you out of this dark, lonely place and into a warm, safe place.

I promise xx

truth - Until you STOP drinking, you won't ever sleep well. Alcohol is a stimulant....

Hot, milky drink, warm bath, pint of water and clean PJs.

Works every time for me...

YOU WILL GET THERE. x

A few years ago I was drinking 8-10 bottles of wine a week, now 5 bottles a week is rare - usually 4, but I still drink everyday and really miss it when I don't. Today is day 2 without a drink and I'm climbing the walls! Ive had a mental dependency on drink for about 20 years and can't imagine life without it . Lots of people I know drink as much as me but they don't seem to need it in the same way. (Sorry to 'butt in' if I have posted mid conversation but it's taken me a while to get this down)

truth - pour the other half of the bottle away. now. Down the sink. then the rest of the drill.
Tomorrow is another day - you can do this.
thatwasn't... - goodness you have a long name .Day 2 is a tough one I find, and one i often fall at so bloody well done. Don't imagine life without it, don't project. it scares me to imagine the rest of my life without it - like a bereavement almost - so don't do it. Just imagine the rest of today, which is almost over so off to bed with you too.
The seats on this bus pull out to form bunks so just sleep here if you can't face RL.

Truth~I really relate to your posts. Such a trivial thing, but buy Kalms or Nytol tomorrow to take an hour before bed. They have been helping me drift off to sleep.

My dad was alocholic. Perhaps not so devastating as having a mum as an alcoholic. Although my mum was so co-dependent that I my life and that of my brothers was total chaos The things I went through as a child I certainly wouldn't want to put upon my children. My dad died aged 44 when I was 21. His death certificate said chronic alcoholic. He died choking on a piece of liver would you believe!!! It was his favourite dinner and he prepared it for himself. By this time he lived alone in an awful flat, lost his job, and was all alone. He too lay for several days before anyone found him.

The whole memory of it all chills me to the core every time I think about it. He was a kind, proud family man until the drinking took over his life.

But still I let alcohol have such a prominent part of my life!!!!! What on earth are we doing?

Thank you demented, yes, bed sounds like a good idea. I do find it harder to go off without a glass or few though. Yes the name is a bit long isn't it? I feel a name change coming on!

another one here with an alcoholic father and also brother.
My talented, highly intelligent brother destroyed his life, going from an international high flier to losing everything, including access to his children, and having to be quite literally lifted out of a gutter.
My father damaged the lives of his 5 children irrevocably.
And still i drink.

Thatwasnt~I'm just finding my feet here, but this is a great place to start.

I was drinking over 7 bottles of wine a week last year. I've cut down gradually and am now having days where I don't drink at all.

I chose an alcohol free drink I really enjoyed. For me it's the white grape feel good juice from Asda I put it in a wine glass.

After a couple of those, I get my PJ's on, have a hot chocolate and take my Kalms. Go to bed with a good book and drift off to sleep.

It isn't easy by any means, but as time goes on I actually find my not drinking days are becoming more habitual than the drinking ones.

Off to bed here. Be Brave Babes xxxx

Dementedma~ crazy isn't it? Or in our genes?

I dunno Daisy, you'd think we'd live and learn!
Off to bed now - Mouse, hope you manage to get the song.

I hate to think these things are in our genes - lots of family patterning and conditioning yes, but a foregone conclusion - NO!

And we, all of us can do a lot NOW to protect our dc from the patterns of alcoholism, we can show them an easier wsy.

Welcome daisy and thatwasnt. I really hope you find the help you are looking for, and that maybe we can help.