The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Silver - Na, never going to grow up. I quite like the inner child escaping once in a while, tis good for the soul

Why would you want to grow up

Glad to see you about Silver

I think your doing really well Isindie and its good your getting all your support in place

Right. I need to make an effort to join your thread properly. I keep thinking if I post every now and then I am doing well. I am deluding myself.
I will phone the tax credits shortly as I have worked out I have done myself out of £1000 pounds - I thought it was half that. I'm so pissed off with myself. So why can't I phone them without any dutch courage? please someone give me the confidence to call - theres nothing even dodgy about my claim so why am I so shit? I just freeze when talking about official stuff as tho they will find out I'm not really a grown up ??!
Someone told me ages ago that if something major happens in your life & you don't deal with it then you can be "stuck at that age". Does that make sense with anyone? My mum killed herself when I was 17 and I've struggled since then. Or am I talking bollocks?

Oh truth

I'm not going to pry but you need to let us help you, if that's what you want....

Did you have counselling at the time? Not bollocks at all, you can't or won't move forward. Bless you.

You don't want to let go. You don't want to forget her. But you have to let yourself heal, stop picking at the scab, making it sore. Let it heal, for good.

Call DWP! They owed us £7k! And we got it.

Truth

I've never heard that about traumatic events.

But I have heard it about starting drinking (in the sense of the word "drinking" that it has had in MY life.)

So, for me, not much happened in terms of growing up between the ages of 17 and 28.

Being a 17-year-old in a 28-year-old body is a bewildering experience.

but its so hard. Mum was an alcoholic.
I don't want to turn into her (don't mean that in a horrible way - she was wonderful - I mean I don't want to end up the way she did.) Just worry that my life is mirroring hers.

Truth I want you to ring the tax credits people now. You can do it and you will feel really pleased with yourself when you have done it. What an achievement.
Have you got the phone number?
Plan what you have to say. Write it on here if you want to but do it now

Doubly pleased

Truth where are you

rubyredlips I'm here!
Just need to open the letter they sent me about 3 months ago! I opened the 1st one but "avoided" the second one! I guess really all I have to is give them my child benefit number and tell them I've been unable to deal with it till now? Surely they won't shout at me??
But that doesn't solve the bigger problem which is times of crisis or uncertainty I reach for a glass of wine. I have to find ways to cope long term too.
Thankyou rubyredlips for not shouting at me. I feel so pathetic.

Ah Truth I've found you . It's one thing at a time, just concentrate on the tax credit first. Have you got the letter with you now? If not, go and get it and then make the call.

Of course they won't shout at you. You can do this

You are not pathetic. You are trying to deal with something that you find difficult. That's brave

Right I just need to sort the kids tea then I can call.

Call now, you are procrastinating, the tea can wait

I agree with Bafana ring now - get it out the way

Cmon, be brave, make the phone call, fight through the butterflies, we are all egging you on here.

I've got to go in 5 mins to pick the DC's up so won't be able to support til later. So will leave you in the capable hands of Bafana

God I feel so immature. Why can't I deal with stuff like any normal person?? Everybody else seems to just "know" what to do, why don't I?
I'm fucking 35 FGS! I've got 3 DC FGS! What is wrong with me??

Pick up the phone. Dial the number - cmon you can do this

I do it too, I am also scared of them, and really you are scared of someone who works in a call centre who gets paid to deal with a hundred calls just like yours every day

Truth I'm very similar - always putting things off. In fact I've got stuff I need to sort too. So maybe you can help me with that.

I'll be back later. You can do this.

they will have spoken to several people today who have procrastinated the way you have, it is not a big deal to them at all

I promise,

Please pick up the phone

truth - I have something which I call 'boxing'. I don't know if it actually exists but for me, it's traumatic times in my life, that I have 'boxed' and stored at the very back of my head.

In some ways, I can't move forward until I've opened them and emptied them out. They linger.

Every now and again, someone will start to turn the key on one and I get petrified.

I think this is what's happening with your mum. You won't turn out like her, in a bad way, because you have seen her go through it.

If you reside yourself to the fact that you'll be 'just like her' then you won't have the fight in you to heal.

Stop drinking. Just stop. No cutting down, no 'I'll stop next Monday'......STOP.

Do yourself a favour, take care of you so that you can take care of others.

But stop because you really, really want to. Deep within your self, if you really want to, then STOP.

There is so mych help these days, so many places you can go, people who are just like you, and me, and any other Brave Babe.

TAKE CONTROL.

Yes, it's hard. When I first came here and someone told me to stop I thought, 'I can't'

I could and I did.

What can we do to help?