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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

1000 replies

notevenamousie · 12/02/2011 06:38

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

OP posts:
Mouseface · 23/02/2011 17:08

'yourself' and 'much'

dementedma · 23/02/2011 17:33

Did you phone, Truth?
I have been putting off phoning the roofer to tell him that the insurance will pay most of the bill but I can't afford the excess and to ask him to just do half the work as that's all i can pay for. i finally phoned today and the bloody man was out and is going to phone back, after I'd rehearsed it all and everything. Now I have butterflies waiting for the phone to ring....
You are not alone. Get the letter, take the phone into another room, take a deep breath and as soon as you begin you'll be fine.

Silver66 · 23/02/2011 17:43

OK I'm just going to throw this into the mix

NALTREXONE

any one heard of it or know anything about it??

Not trying to take the focus off the current chat but I have been researching it and it all looks good to me.

THE SINCLAIR METHOD developed in Finland.

MILFLAW I would be particularly interested in your opinion.xxxxx

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 17:47

I'm just feeding the kids the I am gong to phone. I have to. its more than just the tax credits. its my whole way of dealing with things. today is the aniversary of my mum dying. Sadly tomorrow is the anniversary of us finding out that she had died, She had been in the house for 20hours before we realised. We thought she'd gone away for a couple of days, the way our family was we never went into each others bedrooms, so when my sister did the next morning she was confronted by my mum. Horrific for her.
3 weeks ago my DS dad died - I feel as tho I am drowning. I don't know how to help.
Reading back this sounds horrendous. I have posted about my previous situations under another name but wanted to come on this thread without that.
God I'm not making sense. I don't want to die young like my mum.

MIFLAW · 23/02/2011 18:06

Silver

My opinion is this.

Unless you are alcohol-dependent (i.e. you fit or collapse when you abstain from alcohol) then stopping drinking is not a physical problem. You stop, you feel shit, you feel less shit, you feel well. That's it.

The problem for the vast majority of alcoholics is the MENTAL one and it manifests itself at two points.

One is getting through the stopping process outlined above and not caving in to "just one drink". I can see how medication might help here - although, if you have the determination to commit yourself to a programme of medication, you could probably do it without.

The second point is the rest of your life. How are you going to cope when you have the desire - which you will have - to drink? How are you going to manage when someone dies and you can't get shit-faced because of some pesky medication?

Most alcoholics will either drink on the medication, with potentially disastrous effects; or they will just come off the medication and then drink.

If you are a problem drinker then it is not your body that needs sorting out - it is your head. Any tratement that does not address this truth is going to leave you very vulnerable.

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 18:15

My mum drank whilst on anti depressants and died. The verdict was suicide. Members of my family dispute the verdict. I've had to accept that she knew that what she was drinking with the tablets she was on could lead to disasterous results. It did.

MIFLAW · 23/02/2011 18:30

I think I'm right in saying that Geroge Best tried Antabuse, btw - which, for me, goes some way to proving my point.

Silver66 · 23/02/2011 18:37

MILFLAW

I get what you are saying BUT have you actually read up on it - I am sure you will have - I am sure in your darker days you would have explored every avenue.

From what I have researched there is a solution to exessive drinking/alcoholism. The results from Finland report an 80% success rate of either total abstinence or a marked reduction in alcohol consumption, to drinking within 'normal' limits.

I don't know....I'm just looking for feedback which you have given me.

And in answer to the rest of your life ...at the moment there are no long term side effects with naltrexone - so yes you can take it for as long as needed.

And about the mental addiction - what the studies have shown is that the effect of naltrexone on the neuro transmitters to the brain, is that it eventually decreases the desire/need - (put very badly) - and eventually retrains your brain to not want/need more alcohol, so that a percentage of alcohol dependent people become totally abstinent and the others drink 'normally'.... I suppose the other 20% have no good result.

I don't know

Pavlova's dog....

Truth - I don't mean to hijack your posts - you are in the best place to fine support Babe.
Gerald will be on the road tomorrow after I've been swimming again............

Grin

xxxxxx

Silver66 · 23/02/2011 18:41

Antabuse is a totally different drug. That makes you chronically ill if you drink while taking it.

Google Naltrexone/ Sinclair Method

Come back to me Smile xxx

venusandmars · 23/02/2011 18:48

truth such a tough, tough time. But you are YOU and your Mum was your Mum. You are different people, and you CAN choose a different life. You must want to - you're here on this thread - that shows your intention.

Tell us when you drink, tell us what your 'triggers' are - time of day, seeing a bottle, feeling down, being alone, being in a social situation..... Whatever, one of us will probably have been exactly wshere you are (and most of us will have been somewhere similar).

venusandmars · 23/02/2011 18:51

And truth -ME, the very wise and respected venus (ha ha!) I also avoid difficult phone calls. You are not alone, you are not the only one. And \I promise you that you will be glad when you have done it/.

Silver66 · 23/02/2011 18:51

MILFLAW - maybe we should have this discussion on PM. PM me if you have looked at the research and want to talk further........Grin

I hope everyone else is OK.

truth - all I can do is send you a big {{{hug}}}}

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

venusandmars · 23/02/2011 18:52

Blush sorry about typos, I'm trying to type with long black silk gloves on....... (see earlier post)

MIFLAW · 23/02/2011 18:53

"I get what you are saying BUT have you actually read up on it - I am sure you will have - I am sure in your darker days you would have explored every avenue."

No, I didn't. Because, like most problem drinkers, I had a mental problem with alcohol which meant the thought of stopping drinking or even cutting down drastically filled me with terror.

But my I have googled it, as you suggest, and my opinion is based on that and on my self-awareness.

The mental retraining you talk about clearly relates to the mental craving. i can, as I said, see that a drug would help someone come off the drink. I don't see the need in most cases - but I can see that that would work.

But your brain also has a set of responses to crises. And, for me, the first response was always, "drink". So when, in 20 years time (or whatever) my mum dies, what's going to stop me drinking? Will I still be on these tablets? If I am, why is that preferable to abstention through AA? If I won't, will the "retrianing" of my brain cover such unusual (and therefore unrehearsed) circumstances?

My opinion is therefore that I am sure it does exactly what it says on the tin, but I am not sure of the real-life benefits of that, at least when applied to me; and, looking back, I know I wouldn't have been honest with my doctor so I wouldn't have stuck at it anyway.

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 19:17

Thankyou venus. I'm going to make that phonecall tonight.
My triggers are anythimg to do with being "grown up". know it sounds stupid but I can't phone anyone official - I just freeze. Yet I am the one who goes with my friends to Womens Aid/Solicitors and fight their corner. It would stun them if they knew that I just wanted to curl up and die.
Anyone else I can do it, but if its anything to do with me I just freak out.

Rubyredlips · 23/02/2011 19:23

Grin to typing with gloves on Venus

Mouseface · 23/02/2011 19:39

venus Shock you Dirty Gurty you! Grin

Silver66 · 23/02/2011 19:43

mouse - we have to cure of your smutty little child brain Grin

Any thoughts anyone............. xxx

Silver66 · 23/02/2011 19:46

gotta go - Waterloo Road in a ten minutes.........

Love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dementedma · 23/02/2011 20:00

Truth - we are all here to help however we can. some will be able to help more than others.I can't begin to imagine how you must feel about the loss of your mum in such a way, but you are you and not her. And the fact you are here now shows you are a strong person, determined to overcome your fears.
How did the phone call go?
For what its worth, the roofer phoned me back and said no worries, he'd do the work anyway so alls well that ends well there! Smile
mouse are you being smutty again?

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 20:02

dementedma I'm on the phone to them now. They are being so kind I'm in tears!

dementedma · 23/02/2011 20:07

Way to go, Truth!!!
One more step on the road to gaining control over your life

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 20:07

I did it! now for the serious stuff. Got to stop using alcohol as a crutch. Got to do it for me. Got to do it for my children. I can I know I can.

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 20:08

Yay! I'm so proud of myself!

horribletruth · 23/02/2011 20:09

dementedma can't get complacent tho. I really need to get a grip on this.

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