The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Morning all!! good luck today noteven I'sure you wont need it though

To all those that have said to me they couldn't have done it on their own - I'm not on my own, I have you lot! This thread has been a lifeline for me, especially knowing that bafana has been there for me at the end of the phone line, and texting to see how I'm doing.

No, definitely haven't done this on my own, I can't thank you all enough!

Day 5, onwards and upwards!!

Hope everyone has a great day xx

morning all.

I can't type much cos I'm not feeling well and off to the GP in a bit.

Just want to say how proud I am of all you lovely babes

I'll 'see' you all later.

Xxxx

noteven thinking of you as you go back to work - however you feel, you WILL be fine.

isindie I know exactly how you feel about being honest with your dp, and feeling under presssure if you fail. But you know previously you were making promises to yourself and failing, and actually that is more important (your dp would probably forgive you more easily than you would forgive yourself, at this stage). So love and accept your dp's help. Proud of you too x

Hi to mouse and bafana and JWN and thurso and qo and all others. And a special hello to silver

morning all - noteven hope your day is going well.

I'm chasing my tail today to catch up with work from half-term holiday so it's lovely not to have a hang-over. :)

Today I will NOT be drinking.

Morning everyone

Hope today goes OK Noteven

Well done to Wasindi and Ma

Fingers crossed for your DD JWN - at 19 I would imagine its most likely hormonal - when is the appointment.

I had a amazing really good date last night so still on a bit of a high.

ZANY you got laid, dintcha?
Spill, or else!
Day 4 dawns ....soldiering on.

at Ma. I have been almost very good so far so no gettin laid yet. Well, when I spoke to him last week he asked what I fancied doing last night so I very sensibly said I have always wanted to see the Northern Light. This went on over a few days each time I talked to him and we were both kind of making out that that is what we would be doing (see I have found someone with the same sense of humour as me) I even updated my FB mentioning it. Anyway he picked me up last night and drove me to the riverbank and brought out a picnic with bubbly (little bottle) chocs & strawberries and his laptop where he has done a little slideshow thing with lots of pix of the aurora and music. Was all very scarily romantic.

Morning Bungle IsinDe - actually just occurred to me that I could do with a zip across my mouth to prevent me from pouring wine into it. :o

Zany - please spill, I'm supposed to be working but need some gossip to keep me going. :o

Morning Ma - you're doing absolutely brilliantly. :)

Wow Zany - - he sounds like a keeper!

oh zany, that's so cool!

"MIFLAW recommends that you tackle first the one you know will kill you but my problem is figuring out which one will put me in the ground quickest!"

It's the alcohol.

Hope this helps.

The cute thing is he had his DC's for the weekend and he told them about me and they were helping him come up with ideas about where to go to see the slideshow thing. His DD has asked to meet me next time they are with him. Feels a bit like it is moving on a bit quick but feels right. He seems like a really caring fun person who has me in stitch's half the time. And he passd the dog test although each time he moved in for a kiss my dog was literally knocking his hand away from me and then sat on his lap (she is a big dog too)

I?m in work, so can?t stay. Just wanted to catch up with the morning?s going ons.

Mouse~thanks. I know I don?t have to be like my dad. I couldn?t walk away from my children for the sake of a bottle, for a start. I?m interested to know what you gave up your job for. I?ve been looking for something else, for what seems like forever. I?m sick of the commute I have to do everyday and working with high flyers who think they?re the be all and end all. I considered doing accounts on a self employed basis. But to be honest, I?d rather give up accountancy altogether. Apart from keeping my own books!

I?m not drinking today. Will be stopping of at the shops on my way home to buy some of that Feel Good Juice. It?s so lovely. Feels like a treat and not a guilty pleasure.

Enjoy the rest of the day everyone X

Hi everyone

No drink yesterday, and am not going to have one today. Went through the whole "this is an overreaction, go on, have a little glass of wine" thing last night, but didn't. Kind og making it up as I go along; when I've broached it with DH before he has been very much of the view that I should just...not drink as much, but he's not keen on me actually calling it a problem, if that makes sense. May be a little sporadic on here, because I have to put the laptop away if he's around.

Staying with friends tomorrow night and my first thought was "oh good, they always offer me a G&T". Thoughts like that make me realise that although I may not be drinking to excess at the moment, I definitely don't think about alcohol in a healthy way.

Trist

"A couple of children's cups of wine (so that there's no wine glass in the dishwasher/draining board) from the wine box, necked behind the utility room door while DH is upstairs putting the children to bed."

Please don't take offence at this, but when, as an adult who is not on a school trip, you are drinking out of children's cups and hiding behind a door to do so so that no one finds out about it, the actual quantities you are drinking are, in a sense, the least of your worries.

In order to drink ,you are behaving like a lunatic. And THAT's why you probably need to stop. Because it's literally driving you insane.

MIFLAW

None taken. I do feel like I'm going mad. Externally I am very competent, a coper; where there is any crying on shoulders I am the cry-ee rather than the crier. Generally, I look after those around them and I loathe admitting that I need help. And yet, all the time, I know that I am this freak who has a nasty little habit which I just can't stop, and the contrast between the two me's is hard to live with.

Trist

I suspect that that's why tramps often look quite cheery considering the hell that is there daily life; at least they have given up the pretence, the hiding and the brave face. They are drunks, everyone knows they are drunks, and in a way that must be wonderfully liberating.

I used to hide my drinking too. Or rather, I thought I was very open about it but I still struggled so much that I had to hide some of it. and that's without the drinknig that I didn't hide, just kept quiet about (the times I would stop off at the pub on my own en route to an appointment; the time I would wake up in the middle of the night and drink the leftovers, convincing myself that this was late night drinking, not morning drinking; the extra top-ups i would pour myself so that I had one and a half glasses for every one that the others drank; and so on.)

I cannot tell you how liberating it is, like the tramps, not to have to hide my drinking any more; but, unlike them, because I've stopped doing it, not moved into the park.

Daisy - I care full time for my DS (Nemo) who has Complex Special Needs.

Daisy

Giving up your job might be a good idea.

I think you will find, however, that if you have reached a certain point with your drinking, EVERYTHING will look difficult, shit and unpleasant because that's what drink does.

So don't make any hasty decisions.

I speak as someone who became an accountant after stopping drinking - I'd say it's really not that bad! Whereas previously it was the one job that I definitely would NOT consider.

Afternoon All

Well today is another Monday, I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning, what is it with the fact at the weekend I am awake and raring to go at the crack of sparrow fart, yet on a weekday, my bed is so much more comfy!

Good day at work, lots achieved, although I have tons to do tonight as well .

miflaw your bit about the liberation and feeling so liberated really struck a cord with me, it is really really freeing to not be thinking about it all the time.

In a really good place today, and happy happy happy .

Hope everyone else has had a equally good day.

indie echo everyone else - so so proud of your courage!
noteven hope you survived today
qo you go girl!!
christiane speak to us
thurso was wondering where you were - you doing ok?
trist you are not the only one that has imaginary conversations in their head, I really had thought that it was only me!
ma keep going - you can do this!!

And to everyone else, Mwah mwah.
Right off to look at what I should feed the kids.

Hi bafana,

still here, reading everything, but don't feel that I would be much help, or be able to contribute anything worthwhile at the moment.

Pretty rotten in myself at the mo, drinkwise, ok, relationshipwise . I would really like to get on the outside of a bottle and a half of wine, but realise that would be the wrong answer, in so many ways.

Hey, ho.....

Hi all, am a lurker here, but can't ignore Thurso's post, you sound very down at the moment, what's wrong?

thurso I'm sorry that you are feeling so down, but we both know that drinking on it would only make it worse .

I take it that DH is still not in a good place? It's very difficult to be in your situation, wanting to make things right, but not knowing what it would take to make those changes.

Can I do anything at all?