The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

Yes Mouse - and probably more rapidly than any amount of alcohol! :)

hahaha @ the daily mail talk!!

I've had a productive day, done loads of housework(still got loads more to do)

I've been asked round to someone's house for a drink and refused, it wasn't even hard to refuse - I Don't Want To!!

I really, really don't want my old life - this is so much nicer. I'm getting stuff done,feeling happy, no hangover,no shame,no guilt, no feeling of being the crappest mother in the world, no hole in my pocket.

It's no wonder it was so easy to say no, this feels really good.

Yayyy qo - you sound sooooo happy!!!! You've made my day. :) :)

Thanks zippy, I feel I'm getting things a little more sorted in my head now as well.

I think today's been the first day that I haven't been totally obssessed with what I'm doing, and starting to feel a bit more like "right, I can do this!!"

I'm only on day 5, so it could all change but whatever it is, something feels different to me this time.

qo

I really don't want to rain on your parade...

BUT

Don't be surprised by a little low sometime soon.

Once the initial euphoria wears off a bit, you may feel a bit low.

And, if you know this in advance,then you'll know what is it and tell is to bugger off

It hit me on day 10. As my sleeping pattern settled, I went down like a lead balloon.

Sort of swapping one for the other!

Anyway, just don't beat yourself up if you do get a bit low.

Come on here and chat to us instead.

awww thanks mouse and I am sort of expecting that to happen (it is happening, I got a bit teary last night)

I know what you're saying about the initial euphoria as well,so much so that I almost typed a disclaimer on my previous post

But, I am feeling good and I'm trying to re-affirm that to myself as often as I can, to pull on for strength if and when I should need it.

This time last week, I would have been round to my friends house for that drink like a speeding bullet, without a second thought. I've proved to myself that I don't have to be like that, it's my choice.

Spot on qo.

YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOICE.

What a battle all of this is. Wine. Have to remind myself it's only wine! But it could ruin so much.

OH went off on one today. I can't seem to do much right lately. But I the fact that I thought "if I have some wine, I'll feel better about everything" is wrong in soooo many ways!

I'm trying to follow all your posts. But it's taking time to become familiar with tou all X

Hello Daisy, I'm Mouse

So, have you had some wine today?

Hi everyone,
My internet connection is being useless, I keep losing what I've typed so will be fairly short and sweet as am fed up now!!
Bafana it's so wonderful to read about how well you are doing and feeling.
qo I could never have got to day 5 on my own, hope you are suitably proud of yourself.
Silver I hope something really clicks for you this week if you make it to lots of meetings. Will be thinking of you and please come back and tell it how it is, however it is.

I'm going back to work tomorrow, projecting a fair bit, trying not to, am packed and ironed and organised. Today has been tough but I'm not on my own any more. Mum is doing surprisingly well - am so so thankful for that.

Sleep well everyone and hopefully we'll be making a sober start to the week, whatever it may hold. x

noteven - it's not you, facebook and MN have been doing that with me all day.

Buggeration.

Glad your mum is okay x

Mouse~ you might think I have been on the wine with my terrible spelling It's my dodgy keyboard, honest!

I'm managing to stick to my wine free Sunday to Wednesdays. It's hard, can't lie, but I really want to do it. I'm wanting to lose weight too, so empty wine calories won't help on that front.

My main concern before I started this a few weeks ago, was how would I sleep? Two kids, a husband that works away often and a part-time job to do.....sleep is very important to me. But have been taking Kalms herbal and have been having the greatest nights sleep ever!

But drinking on my 'nights off' is never far from my mind. So it's a problem . My dad was a chronic alcoholic and died aged 44. So I know full well the dangers and the slippery slope we are all on.

Hmm Daisy

See, I started like that, 3 nights on, 4 off the drink.

When you do drink, do you limit your intake?

Or do you just go for it?

Your sleep will be buggered the nights that you drink.

I bet you wake at 3/4am when you drink, feeling a bit, odd, misplaced?

Needing the loo etc?

So on your nights off, do you take Kalms? Or every night?

I'm on sleepers, my GP gives me two weeks 'off' every now and again.

I still have the odd glass or two of wine, but that it.

I've wobbled off the bus and I fallen spectactularly from the top deck to the road below, with my drawers on show.

BUT

I'm still here and I much prefer the sober me.

As does everyone else

X posted IsinDe

I really, really am proud of you

I think you are fantastic for taking the step you have.

I've 'kniwn' you for ages and feel like you are a RL friend, as is the case with other BB's

We have got to know each other. But more than anything, your girls need you to be sober, all of them.

Keep going sweetheart xxx

'known' 'I've' and 'that's'

Tired typing now

still here!!

IsinDe and Mouse I've never mentally decided to quit before. I rarely go overboard with drinking and can probably count on one hand the amount of times I haven't been 'in control' But it's the fact that I've been having a drink EVERY DAY for the past two years. Why? I'm addicted? Habit? I don't want to admit that I might be an alcoholic like my dad Maybe I am.

But this isn't a new thing. When I got pregnant with each of my kids, I stopped drinking, no question. Before the kids were in the picture, drinking was still an issue. But I was never one to fall about making an ar*e of myself. Quite the opposite. But after drinking these days, I wake in the night, and think about all the drinking days gone by and think OMG!!!

My drinking definitely escalated after my dad died. In some ways I think I thought it was inevitable that I would go the same way. But I'm 'sensible' I got a life, became a qualified accountant, met my OH, got the lovely house, had two children. Perfect.

"Mathemagnificent! - - love it Indie, one day I might just adopt it.
Finishing day 3 here too - no way you are going to get ahead of me girl.
Seriously, its been a bloody hard struggle this weekend, and I'm still not in a very good place. it's only the fact that i want the ADs to work that's stopping me getting rat-arsed but I'm hanging in here.

evening!

well, here we go!, another sober weekend under the belt, today has been so nice, relaxing and calm, a far cry from my drinking days, i could be having a row in an empty room now, or attempting to do my nails, jeez, you should have seen the bloody pickle i could make doing that after 20 units of poison!

just reading all the posts on here gives me inspiration and hope, sometimes i still cant believe this is me, happy, content, calm and just unafraid! - i hadnt realised just how frightened i was, even now im not sure what i was frightened of, i just was! iyswim? so, thanks you beautiful babes! , you really dont know just how fantastic you are to me!

am off to bed now, see you all in the morning!, ready to grab the new week by the balls!, (i actually look forward to mondays now, its something to do with 'new starts' i think, really fires me up! )

love to all!

L XXXXXXXXXX

Right, I'm off to bed.

Daisy - you don't have to be like your dad. Not if YOU take control.

I bet your dad drank for way more than 2 years every day?

Years and years?

Look, you have chosen to stop and to change. And maybe, just maybe, because of your father, YOU WILL MAKE IT!

Everyone on this Bus have walked in your shoes at one point or another.

YOU are NOT alone (gah, M Jackson song) but you're not.

Stay. Talk. Heal. xx

Night all xx

Morning all,
IsIndie - so pleased for you, your day 3 being over, and your DP being so supportive. I think none of us will feel boingy with chronic sleep deprivation even in sobriety! It sounds like you are getting to that place of acceptance that made things finally work for me.

Work - eek - better go and get in the shower - you'll be glad to know I won't be around to annoy you all today. Today I won't be drinking - they may get to see a different version of me, but I will do my job to the best of my abilities with no hangover and an ever lessening mental obsession.