The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past the Valentine's Wining and Dining

[notevenamousie]

Following on from jesuswhatnext and her original very successful thread and all the many others here , this is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, sharing struggles, thoughts, experience, strength and hope concerning life but more specifically our relationship with, and our journey through, cutting down or cutting out alcohol.

There is no judging or nastiness, just support for whatever works, and if we fall out of the bus we are always welcomed back on when we are ready with open arms and listening ears.

I'm notevenamousie and I'm an alcoholic. I abused and was dependent on alcohol for months if not even a couple of years. I feel a hundred times better physically, emotionally, spiritually, since giving in the fight with alcohol, admitting I had lost, and walking away, but it's very much one day at a time.

If you are a long time lurker, why not make this thread the one you jump in and say hello!

venus - thank-you :)

just a quick 'hello and night night'!

its really great to see so many people on here - what a wonderful thing we have going here!, i never would have believed that i would have a sober saturday night, cooking, chatting, watching the tudors (i did think i was pissed at one point, that programme is SO of the mark! ) and then think, 'i wonder how my sober friends are doing?' when the going gets tough, its fantastic to know im not alone!

see you in teh morning lovely babes!

L XXXXXXXX

Where's Mouse?

xxx

Just checking in, had a sober evening which I am really pleased about

Really really tired though, so I'm off to bed in the hopes I sleep the night through tonight.

Hope everybody is ok and has/had a good night

Morning all.

Well, I did succumb to a glass of fizz with friends, and then another two. but that was all, so a minor victory. However I am going forth positively and instead of beating myself up I am saying to myself 'you did okay You were not drunk. You stopped. Today you will not be drinking' (what? the little voice cries... not even the post-church sherry?'. No. Not even that. )

Today I will not be drinking.

Have a good day everyone.

indie day 3 here too, so well done you - and me
my drinking is very much the same as yours, but the fact we don't end up in the gutter doesn't mean we aren't killing ourselves anyway1
Mouse come out, come out, wherever you are.

Tada!

Sorry, RL has been getting in the way.

Hello to all of the new Babes and Mushrooms - thank you for the compliment

IsinDe - You have made my week. I'm so glad that you have finally taken hold or your demons and gone to an AA meeting.

Not that I'd know but I really do think it was one of the only things left to try and help you.

I felt a little twinge of pride reading your posts. Can I say I'm proud of you? xx

JWN - Lovely to see you posting, how are things?

Ma - You seem brighter too? How are things lovely?

Ruby - It's nice to see you here so much! How are you finding things, day to day?

Silver - now then. How are you lovely? Where are you up to with your battle? Been to any meetings of late?

How's things with DB and DP?

MIFLAW - just have this will you {{hug}}

venus - great posts as always. I now have a vision of you on a sleeper train cursing and wishing you could sleep, ANYTHING for sleep.

They are hell on wheels! Never, ever again.

Hello to all who I've not mentioned, I'm hoping to be around more this week.

'of' and any other typos!

Morning all!!

Had a lovely sober weekend, the first of many!!

I've had loads of thoughts going round my head, thinking about my lifestyle as a whole and really wanting to make other changes besides the drink.

Questioning myself and my behaviour quite a lot but not in the guilty, shameful way that I was when I joined the thread - in a more analytical way I suppose.

I swing from feeling really strong and positive, to feeling tearful and guilty and back up again. Mostly positive though, so I can't complain too much.

Still having little thoughts about the "NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!!" thing, managing to keep bringing myself back to just for today though.Just for today is fine with me.

Have a great sunday everyone :)

qo

Nothing is forever.

You are simply taking control of how you want to live your life.

You are calling the shots, whether you drink or not.

You are the one who decides.

And, for what it's worth, you are doing really well, keep going

Hello eveyone else.

Right next week is half term and I am off work so cold turkey for me - not a big problem if I can't sleep.

Drinking has been totally out of control and I've found every excuse under the sun not to go to meetings.

Rib is healing now so no more puting it off .

DB infected my lap top with a virus [grrr] so now got to find the money for a new one.

Families - aargh

How's Nemo and The Wolf Mouse?

Is Red OK.

Wasindie - well done you. Brave lady xxx

morning all!

isnidi - you are being really brave!, i think your dp will 'get' it, she can see that it is very important for you, she loves you and wants your family to work - she will get her head round it!

qo - bloody well done you!! , mouse is right, believe me, it is such a relif to find that YOU are making the decisions and not the booze, i cant describe the feeling when you realise that all the stress has lifted (i dont mean everyday stress, everyone has that, i mean the self-inflicted stress that comes with knowing you drink too much!)

mouse - we are ok thanks, she is quite tearful every so often but we are getting through, losts of talking and hugs etc (dd has a problem with her breast, she has a lump, we are waiting for the next appointment at the breast clinic - i truly feel it is proberbly hormonal, she is only 19 after all, and is a cyst but the dark thoughts do enter if you let them ) all i can keep thinking is that thank god im sober and can be here for her properly!

so, today is a quiet family sunday, bit of tidying up, perhaps a walk if it ever stops bloody raining, and then a nice bit of dinner - dosent get much better than that!

Thanks, I do feel like there's been a definite shift in my thinking already, and I like it!

I don't think I've ever felt like this during previous atttempts to stop.

I hope everything goes well for your daughter at the breast clinic JWN I'm sure it will be :) your day ahead sounds lovely, and just what I want for me and mine - enjoy it!!

Afternoon everyone, day 2 for me today and I will not be drinking

Afternoon all

Nice to 'see' you all.

I'm feeling rough convinced I'm coming down with something (moan, MOAN)

Bafana thanks for telling me to pull myself together it was welcomed

Had friends round for dinner last night and we had a lovely time.

Mouse I'm doing ok day to day just have wobbles but I am trying to be focused and positive (I can be very confident and positive and then it suddenly disappears)
I like coming on hear and finding out what everyone is up to

here

Afternoon All

ruby no problem, any time

qo you are sounding much more positive - thats fantastic. Sober weekends really are so much better, they last so much longer, and you get so much more done!

mouse nice to see you, hope you are having fun with new addition to the family

jwn worrying, but would be far more difficult to deal with if you were drinking - which you know! Hugs to you and DD

indie I dont think that my family (sis and Mum) got it at all when I said that I was going, but I think that they both get it now . I feel so different. it's not about just staying sober, that is dealing with the physical manifestation of the problem, AA is helping me deal with reasons behind it, and that comes through listening to everyone else.

I was talking to my sister about this yesterday, and saying that for me, it's fixing my head - why do I lift the first drink. why can I then not say no.

I don't hate myself anymore - and I think that I have done for a really long time, I didn't like me, so why did I expect anyone else to.

I am beginning to have some self worth again, and I think that it is beginning to show through.

It's ironic that I had to get to the point where I lost my partner before I wanted to do something about my drinking, and I have refound me.

RIght, off to make a shopping list, supervise homework and get ready for a new week, I am taking my FIL out for tea tonight to thank him for looking after the kids while I was down south - so something nice to look forward too.

Couldn't have done it without you lot, xxx awesome insprirational women (and Miflaw) every single one of you!

Silver - I am so pleased to see you admit to yourself out loud that you have not been doing so great.

As I have always said to you, we're (I'm always here to support you.

Night or day, good or bad. We want to support you.

Please let us xx

JWN - Can I ask how long you've been waiting for an appt?

2 of my friends are going through bearst cancer treatment currently but they were both lucky to be seen within days of going to their GP.

I hope DD has the same luck. Please, give her a {{{hug}}} from me, you don't have to tell her it's from me, just sneak it in. xx

*bafana - 'I have refound me' that has to be the best line on here of late. Well done sweets xx

Ruby - I'd be more worried if you can on here and said to me that you didn't wobble.

Keep going. We can all get through this, just one day at a time

Ok, well, if you will have me, I'm going to climb on this bus.

Something made me post my original message, and something is gnawing away at me and saying "if not now, when? If not this, then what is ever going to make you address it?"

I have, by some mysterious or miraculous grace, come relatively unscathed through some dreadful situations that my drinking got me into when I was younger. My lifestyle now means I'm unlikely to be in those positions again (for now), but these days I'm risking my health, and most importantly, the chance to be the mother I want to be to my children.

I have so little faith I can stick with this after failing so many times before, but on the basis of one day at a time, today I will not be drinking.

Hey, welcome to you

So, something is enough to get you started.

Do you have a plan of attack or are you going to wing it for a while?

welcome Tristmum. It is a struggle, but we are all struggling here which makes it easier. Still bloody hard though.
Good luck!

Well the wine has been whispering to me this afternoon but I've found a new weapon in my 'just for today' armoury. I've just spent half an hour on the Daily Mail website looking at their archive of alarmist alcohol stories. Amongst other things there's some awful stuff on there about brain shrinkage that scared the life out of me.

Now normally I automatically dismiss anything in the Daily Mail as rubbish but in this instance I'm going to take the articles as gospel. As I result I can heartily say I'm NOT going to drink today.

Well done zippy

Although I'm sure reading the Daily Mail, can shrink your brain too!