discovered my dp's porn obession

[tahlulla1986]

Hi. Last week whilst on my dp's laptop I came across a lot of video files. Curious I looked at a few. They where all web cam images. Some were of women touching themselves, others where he was using online chat with the video telling these woman what to do. There was even one I found of him having 'cybersex'. Some dating back a few years but some very recent when we spent a few rare nights apart. Like 2 weekends ago when I went to buy my wedding dress. I knew he liked dirty chat rooms when we first got together but when we began to get serious I told him I didn't really like him doing it and so he said he'd stop.

When I confronted him he said he didn't know it would hurt me so much, if he had he wouldn't have done it. He's promised me that he won't ever do it. To save our relationship I have to believe that he's telling me the truth but I'm going to struggle to trust him. I'm working tonight and I'm scared of what he'll get up.

I really want to make our relationship work as does dp, he says he'll do anything to make it better. We due to get married in just under 5 months. I have 2 dsc with him and after theyre mother died look to me as their mum and feel that leaving isn't really an option.

Has anyone been through similar and come through it?

Sorry its so long!

If you genuinely think that most men do not have "a masturbatory habit" then I am sorry to say I think that you are deceiving yourself.

As I said, if people were a little more open and accepting of others then the world would be a better place. That to me does not include the bringing in of third parties in a particpatory role.

From my own experience DH used to watch/engage in porn tucked away in his study every night without me realising. It was when he got me to listen to this girl on the phone while he, shall we say, encouraged her that I realised how sad he had become. He was using it as the easy option instead of me! Years later and after very little sex unless I initiated it, it got to the stage that although he said he really wanted it with me, I then tried all sorts to make it happen - dressed up etc ( you get the message )- he said he felt pressured . I ended up by saying that if it was all talk and no action, then forget it - NO SEX THEN - God it felt good taking back control.
I am not a prude, I enjoy porno movies - esp on my own! I don't think engaging in cybersex is necessarily a bad thing as long as you have a really good sex life with your partner - I just live without it now!!!!

I'm speaking of a "masturbatory habit" specifically regarding secretly wanking to porn, nothing else.

I know that most people (not just men ) like to have a bit of self love, which is normal and healthy of course.

The kind of compulsion I'm talking about normally takes precedence over a satisfying joint sex life too, it's abusive and controlling to continue with a behaviour that has a negative impact on your relationship.

Ah, right. I too was talking about onanism alongside a healthy sex life.

If the opposite is the case in this situation (I have missed it if it is) then he is doubly at fault.

Do piss off, there's a good little perv.